For a moment, she did not think he would answer then anguish flashed in his gaze and he, at last, gave her the truth. More of it than she expected.
“Aye, lass, I had been admiring ye for some time, but that eve, I knew it to be true.” He cupped her cheek tenderly. “I loved ye with my whole heart.”
“Och,” she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut briefly before she opened them again. “Why did ye turn me away?” She tilted her head in question. “Why did ye push me into yer brother’s arms if ye felt that way?”
“Because I was a fool,” Colmac ground out. He shook his head, clearly conflicted. “Or so it seems now, but the truth was, as ye well know, there wasnae anything I wouldnae do for Bróccín. He loved ye something fierce, and I couldnae take that from him.” Sadness flickered in his eyes. “Not after all the suffering he went through in life. The many illnesses.”
While she admired his devotion, it still hurt.
“And what of yer suffering turning from me?” she asked softly. “Or was there any?”
“There was nothing but, lass.” Pain saturated his gaze. “I didnae realize how much there would be...how long it would stay with me...”
Her heart caught at the look in his eyes. Should she ask? Dare she? How could she not?
“And how long did it stay with ye?”
“’Tis still with me at this verra moment,” he murmured. “Do ye not see it in my eyes?” He brushed her chin with the pad of his thumb. “Even now, when ye mourn my brother’s passing, I mourn what I gave up.”
“Ye love me?” she whispered. “Even now?”
“More now than ever.” Fresh torture lit his gaze. “But that doesnae change anything. Ye gave yer love to Bróccín and ‘tis his memory ye’re home to visit as it should be.”
“Aye,” she managed.
While their gazes held, she realized Brighid was right all the way around. The love she felt for the brotherswasmarkedly different. Bróccín never made her feel like she did right now. Her heart never pounded, nor did her breath catch. She never felt this alive but instead, comfortable. Companionable.
“We should go see if he left another scroll,” she said before she put voice to her thoughts and told him how she felt. Because he was right. She was home to say goodbye to her betrothed not fall in love with his brother all over again. Yet she feared as he nodded and pulled her after him, it was too late.
It had been too late the moment she awoke in his bed and found him standing beside her.
Colmac crouched at the corner of the hearth and peered at the area the rock had come loose from. “’Twas a verra small space.”
“Aye.” She remembered Bróccín crouched in the very same spot fitting the rock back in.
“It comes out easily enough.” Colmac pulled it free then peered in. His brows perked. “Och, ‘tis deeper than it used to be. Someone carved more space.”
“Aye?” She leaned over his shoulder. “Is there anything in there?”
“Aye.” He grinned, stood, and handed her a scroll just like the others.
“My goodness.” She glanced from him to the scroll then removed the sprig and red ribbon. “Bróccín truly wanted to send me on a journey, aye?”
“So it seems.” Colmac’s gaze remained on her face as she unrolled it. “What does it say, lass?”
She read it aloud.
My Dearest Friend,
If ye’re reading this, then ye’ve had yer dance and likely now know of all that was set aside so that I might love ye. I knew the sacrifices made, and for that, I am sorry. I just loved ye so much. Do ye remember what I said to ye the night I proposed? What I hoped I might get from ye? Then where I wished ye always go? Might ye go there and discover even more...
Yers,
Bróccín
“He called me ‘friend’ in this one.” She focused on that first because what the rest of the letter implied was difficult to wrap her mind around.
It sounded like a flat out confession.
