Chapter Twenty-Seven
THOUGH AIDAN TOLD herto stay put and let him handle this, she did no such thing when Cray pounded on their door, roaring mad. Instead, she scrambled into her dress as Aidan wrapped his plaid around his waist, grabbed the Viking sword, and stood on the other side of the door.
“I willnae open this door until you calm down, Cousin,” Aidan warned. “You’ll not harm my lass.”
“Ye’re lass,” Cray growled, muttering a slew of curses, his brogue so thick she barely understood him. But his rage translated just fine. “Ye’re lass took Maeve from me! Took who should have been my wife from me! Any future bairns we would have had from me!”
“Och,” Aidan muttered under his breath. He looked at Chloe, shook his head, and spoke softly. “There’s no reasoning with him when he gets like this normally, let alone when his dragon’s repressed.” He flinched, evidently sensing more. “Nor when he cannae lie with a lass because your friend doesnae keep quiet about her opinion on the matter.”
She frowned, still hardly believing Madison was in Cray’s head that much. More so, that she was interfering with his sex life. Had this been any other situation, she might have laughed. Mainly because it was so damn hard to picture. Then again, while Madison wasn’t necessarily a prude, she was more reserved than most. So just maybe if she found herself in Cray’s mind, she might have a word or two to say about him sleeping with a woman he’d known for mere minutes.
Still, Madison tended to be a little timid when it came to men. In fact, before Chloe caught her discreetly checking out Tiernan then Aidan, she was starting to wonder if Madison was even interested in the opposite sex. Now she was in Cray’s mind counseling him on his sex life of all things? She couldn’t imagine it any more than she could imagine Madison being able to deal with the moody, short-tempered MacLeod when they met in person.
“Nay, there will be no reasoning with me, ye bloody bastard!” Cray agreed from the other side of the door, catching Aidan’s every word. But then he was half dragon, which, according to him, meant he had excellent hearing.
“Cray, it really is all my fault,” she called out, not about to let his wrath turn Aidan’s way. “I’m so incredibly sorry. I just...” What? Decided Cray’s love for Maeve didn’t matter? That Aidan deserved her more? Because she knew via her connection with Aidan, that Cray had followed everything telepathically. “I just loved Aidan so much I didn’t want him to live yet another life without love.”
She recalled with vivid clarity the desperation she had felt when Étaín gave her moments to decide. She could give Aidan the life he deserved if she was willing to give up everything. As it happened, if she became a faery again, she would be banned from any future contact with him. Yet it made no difference because she wouldn’t return to how things had been. She didn’t want him spending his life loving a woman he could never touch.
He deserved a normal life. Intimacy. Children.
“The sun was setting. I had a split second to decide, and Maeve came to mind.” She bit back tears and shook her head, so incredibly sorry for all the harm she had done. The lives she had meddled with. The blind love she’d felt for Aidan that had in the end, broken not just his heart but Cray’s. The MacLeod had suffered every bit as much, seen clearly in the emotional fury he showed now. The heart wrenching angst she felt churning inside him.
“I never meant to hurt you, Cray,” she said through the door. “I just wanted someone truly kind for Aidan. Someone who would watch over him like I never could again. Someone I knew could be a true friend to him and love him the way he should be loved.”
Someone who would sit by his side, consoling him late into the night when he lost a loved one like she had when he lost his great-granda Grant. Though very young at the time, he had been as heartbroken as everyone else. Fresh grief washed over her as she thought about it.
As all her memories came rushing back.
Though she was but an unseen faery, Aidan’s life had very much become hers.
She knew his parents and grandparents and even his most cherished allied clans, the MacLomains and MacLeods. She had flitted about, watching over his kin the best she could. Watching his cousins grow. Though he had no knowledge of her, she recalled Ethyn now and looked forward to seeing him again. He was a lighthearted sort, quick to joke, often making her laugh with his antics. She also remembered Cray’s older brother Marek. How fierce he was but in a different, more tempered way than Cray.
Which brought her back to Cray and how she had watched him grow too.
She had loved him just as Aidan had, often having conversations with Aidan about Cray’s ever-growing skills as a fighter. His way with the lasses from a young age. He’d never tell his overly cocky cousin as much, but Aidan was fonder of Cray than he knew. He admired him a great deal, often envying the way he spoke his mind.
“Please forgive me, Cray.” She leaned against the door, hung her head, and whispered because she couldn’t quite find her voice. “I really am so incredibly sorry. Not just for what I did but that in the end, when Maeve must’ve broken free of the spell and remembered how much she loved you, that you lost her all over again.”
Cray had gone silent. While she knew he had followed her every thought, she couldn’t get a read on him. Silence reigned for long seconds before Aidan’s hand landed on her shoulder.
“He’s gone, Chloe,” he said softly.
“But I never heard him leave.”
“Dragons are especially light on their feet when they want to be.” He pulled her against him and held her, offering much needed comfort. “Though I know ‘tis hard you cannae blame yourself, lass. Anyone who had lived such a long existence watching the one they loved come and go would have done the same.”
Was that true? It was impossible to know. If they had, they probably would have come up with a better match than a woman they knew loved another. That was just cruel of her. Heartless.
“Nay, ‘twas the verra opposite, Chloe.” Aidan cupped her cheeks and met her eyes. “You thought with your heart and did what you felt was best for me. When you love as fiercely as we did, you dinnae think twice about making that happen if given the chance.” He brushed his lips across hers. “Whilst I will always be sorry for my part in your ultimate demise, I am thankful that you saved me. That we had a chance to find each other again.”
“Which could have been done,” she said softly, “without hurting Maeve and Cray.”
“You acted on instinct and did what was best for me,” he said. “We both know when you gave up the chance to become a faery again, Fae magic was at work. The verra last of your powers. It aided you in choosing Maeve. Which tells me, she was likely a verra good match for me, Cray or no Cray.”
She knew he was right, but that didn’t make this any easier.
Aidan looked at her so tenderly it made her chest tighten with emotion. “You loved me too much to watch me live without love again.” He placed her hand over his heart. “Because you knew had you become a faery and were banned from me, I loved you too much to ever love another. Not in this lifetime. Not in any. I would have lived a loveless existence for eternity because I was only ever meant to be with you.”
