“I’m so sorry.” She surprised him yet again when a tear rolled down her cheek as she stared at something he’d been staring at for the better part of two days.
Liam, Shannon, Tréan, and Ulrik had offered to help him start repairing it with magic, but he couldn’t seem to find it in himself to accept their offer and had no idea why. He’d thought it was because he wanted a stark reminder of what his inner beast was truly capable of, but now, given Constance’s response, he wondered.
“Why are you sorry?” he asked.
“I have no idea.” Her eyes were more purple than blue in this light. “Only that this is heartbreaking.”
Truth be told, he had no idea what to make of her as a whole. One moment he was furious at her. The next, he craved being betwixt her thighs like a starving man needed sustenance. It was no easy thing discovering a part of her vowed to end him or that she intended to do it at one of his more favored spots, King’s Fall.
His dragon had wanted to end her right then and there for such intent until it caught her scent. After that, he learned just how vulnerable he was to her. How much power she had over his inner beast if she but dangled her dragon in front of him. It made desire and lust seem like ridiculously unambitious words to describe intimacy. The things he wanted to do to her. How he wanted to make her feel.
How he wanted to feel in return.
While Ulrik certainly assuaged how painful it had become via magic, he hadn’t tempered all of it. Not nearly. It still simmered beneath the surface. Worse yet, it was a longing that was by no means ruled by his dragon alone. Nay, his human half was just as taken. Just as aroused. Fortunately, however, it was easier to control.
Or so he hoped.
Because her reaction to his castle ruins struck a chord in him, he didn’t anticipate. One that told him this was as personal to her as it was to him. Why, though? What could it possibly mean to her...unless.
As if she followed his thoughts, her teary gaze met his. “Tell me about this portion of the castle. Why I might be having such a strong reaction to its destruction?”
While tempted to be vague, he was anything but.
“At my request, ‘twas not frequented by my people,” he said. “’Twas also where my chambers were located.”
“Why do I feel the two are somehow related?” She glanced from the wreckage back to him and wiped away a tear. “And why do I feel such loneliness here?”
“Because ‘twas a lonely place,” he confessed, comfortable talking about it with her when conversing with other lasses had never come naturally. Or should he say mattered all that much? “A well-protected place I could not allow my people to wander in case my dragon got the better of me.”
Her brows furrowed. “And did that happen often?”
“When younger, aye. More than I would have liked.” He shook his head. “Eventually, I got a handle on it. Learned how to better control it. Nevertheless, I kept my chambers in this part of the castle and only allowed those I knew could handle themselves, to serve me.”
“That had to be a terrible way to live,” she said softly. “I’m sorry.” Her gaze drifted back to the ruins. “So it would make sense that your dragon laid waste to this portion of the castle when ordered to.” Her gaze returned to him. “Only I get the feeling it was much harder than you expected. That, for whatever reason, this was the most important part of the castle to your inner beast. Maybe even to you.”
“’Twas,” he acknowledged. “And I never understood why other than I knew it was the only way to keep my people safe from my dragon without abandoning them altogether.”
“That’s noble.” Her gaze lingered on his face for a moment before returning to everything he’d lost. “Nobler than I expected.” She inhaled deeply, as though it wasn’t easy to say, and met his eyes again. “Thank you for saving my life. I should have said it sooner, and I apologize. I just wasn’t in...the best place.”
“And are you now?” he wondered, not sure how he felt about her apology. Not sure if he’d earned it when it had clearly been his dragon that brought her back.
“Honestly, I’m mostly confused.” Rather than pull her hood up against the icy gusts blowing off the ocean, she tilted her face into it as though warming her skin in the sun. “Before I came here, I hated you. I thought you were my greatest enemy.” She shook her head. “Now I’m not so sure.”
“And what of Siobhán? Because ‘tis clear there’s something betwixt you.” He frowned. “If not in this life, then the last.”
“I don’t know other than you’re right,” she admitted, not shying away from his gaze. “Thereissomething between us. I just haven’t figured out what yet.”
“You say that as though you don’t see her like the rest of us do.” He didn't like the lack of hatred in her eyes. Swore he saw a touch of fondness. “That you might not think her the monster she is.”
“Like I said, I don’t know what I think of her yet.”
“Despite her trying to kill my brothers and your sisters?” he countered. “Despite what she did to me?”
“Despite all that,” she said so softly, her words were nearly lost on the wind.
While tempted to drill into her just how dangerous Siobhán was, he thought better of it. He didn’t want to argue right now when it seemed they had crossed some small divide. They were talking as he might to a friend, and he had no desire to ruin the moment. Not yet.
“We should get back,” she murmured as if she sensed he was settling in for a good talk. That she might enjoy having a conversation with him just as much.
