Fortunately, friends of Emma’s soon joined them, so she was spared from having to look at her feelings too closely. They were emotions far too new to be trusted. Instead, she spent the next few hoursenjoyingpeople rather than suffering through them. Much to her astonishment, she even enjoyed Maude’s company. The good Lord knew she loved her sister but had never expected to actually find her improper and unorthodox ways charming.
“I do hope you will forgive me for the dress mishap,” Maude said at one point, her eyes far too merry for a proper apology. “I only meant to see your belongings well-prepared for your upcoming travels.”
“No doubt you did.” Yet she could not seem to find it in herself to be put off anymore. “I can only hope my night rail, at the very least, makes a reappearance.”
“One must hope,” Maude echoed with a rather wicked gleam in her eyes.
Prudence nearly said going without a night rail was taking it a step too far but bit her tongue when Jacob rejoined her. After that, she could care less about bedtime attire, especially when the two of them picked up their conversation flawlessly and exactly where they had left off. Only then did it occur to her she had not scanned the room for him once like she used to look for her late husband. Never worried what mischief he might be up to.
Then again, Jacob was not her husband or even courting her, so he need not be scrutinized. Nor were there worries about him behaving in a certain way. Even if he were courting her, she now knew there was nothing to fear. He was not the man her husband had been. Nowhere near it, for that matter. It was an exhilarating thought and made her heart warm and even—perhaps—happy.
“You seem to be enjoying yourself, my lady,” he said at one juncture, never allowing her off his arm. “It is good to see.”
“I am,” she admitted, smiling at others when they smiled at her. “Very much so.”
They talked a great deal but mostly danced, and she loved every minute of it. Adored the way they moved together when waltzing or the chats they had during less formal dances. It was the most time she had ever spent on a dance floor, and she found herself quite weary when the evening wound down.
Jacob held out his elbow. “Might I walk you to your room, my lady?”
Her heart leapt a little as she slipped her arm into his. “I would like that, Your Grace.”
While she knew there was nothing untoward about him escorting her to her bed chambers, her heart beat faster than usual the whole way up. The portraits that seemed so fascinating earlier dulled in comparison to the warmth of his arm. To the rich timbre of his voice as they continued chatting.
“I must admit, I loathe seeing this night come to an end,” he said when they arrived at her door. “More so that I could not enjoy your company for its entirety.”
While uncharacteristically tempted to gush that she felt the same, she had actually appreciated her moments alone almost as much as those with him. The newfound sense of freedom she had felt being on her own. The confidence she had found within it.
So, quite liking the way Emma went about things, she remained truthful and friendly because she thought it best for now. Better that they kept things platonic, lest she fall into his arms and do something she regretted. Had to think that way. “While I missed our conversations in your absence, it was truly a lovely evening. One I hope we can repeat.”
“I would like nothing more, my lady.”
Her heart leapt into her throat, and heat flared under her skin when he leaned in slowly and kissed her cheek. His lips hovered so close to hers before he pulled away that she feared he might kiss her on the mouth. Or was it hope she felt when her knees grew weak? A desperate yearning that he took matters out of her hands and closed his mouth over hers? Kiss her in a way she had hoped her late husband would have, at least at the beginning of their marriage?
He did not, though, and despite wanting his lips on hers, she was grateful when he bid her goodnight. That he let their wonderful night stand as it was. Agnus had not come up yet to help her undress, and she was grateful for it. Thankful for a few moments alone so she could open her balcony doors and step out into the refreshingly cool air.
It was the first time she had dared to step out there since arriving, and she could not help but wonder what she had been waiting for. She cared not for the chill but let her shawl fall away. Turned her face up to the moon as though warming it in the sun. Felt it wash over her and tear away yet one more bar from her gilded cage.
She had never expected to feel like this again. But then, had she felt this way to begin with? Before being presented at her debutante ball years ago? Before going into the world with such a naïve outlook? Before thinking that love was destined? That the world could be changed because she merely wished it?
Now she knew otherwise, and for the first time in ages, she was not so bitter about it. She had begun seeing things for what they were, while at the same time realizing there was hope to be had. That there were kind people out there, and especially that the world was not black, white, or the leaden grey it had become.
Rather it was quite vibrant, and the next few days proved that.
In fact, the next few days showed her more than she ever dared imagine.
Chapter Ten
It took everythingin Jacob not to close his lips over Prudence’s when he escorted her to her room. Every time he saw her, he thought it impossible she could be lovelier, but somehow upon returning after seeing to business earlier, she seemed changed once again. Utterly transformed once more when she bypassed a mere smile and outright laughed at something Emma had said.
She was so transformed that he had stood off for a bit so he could simply admire her. Watch her laugh and be happy. Thrive in the capable hands of the MacLauchlins and Campbells. Because she could have no more genuine acquaintances nor better friends.
To say things were going as he had hoped with Prudence was an understatement. She was finding her way back to herself far more quickly than the lasses he had been with before when he had helped them along until they amiably returned down their own paths.
While he was glad Prudence had found her way out from beneath her late husband’s tyranny so quickly, he could not help but wonder…didshe need romance to find her way back to herself? Or was Blake right, and perhaps it would be poor of him to take things any further?
It was a conundrum he grappled with when he’d nearly kissed her plush lips. However difficult it might be, he decided until he figured things out, it was best to keep things chaste between them. So over the next few days he continued to keep things platonic and enjoyed himself more than he had in a long time.
“Well, it seems I owe you yet another apology, Your Grace,” Prudence said. They had just come from mass at church and stood in one of the two buildings he had wanted to show her days ago. She gazed around at nothing more than crumbling walls, dinge, and dust. “This is outstanding.” Seeing something most lasses would not, she shook her head in awe. “I can just imagine how it looked when wounded soldiers were brought in here during wartime. What a relief it must have been to find sanctuary and medical care.”
