Oh, God, the hurt he saw in her eyes flayed his heart.
“Is that how you see making love to me?”
“I’m an American painter with no fortune and no prospects. You’re Lady Perpetua.”
She traced a finger along his jaw and sucked on her lip, sending fire through him. “Oh, Fox, I’m but a woman. Will you not see me as that?”
He pulled her finger away. “It cannot be.”
Her lovely jaw firmed and her lips trembled. “You do not wish it to be.”
She jerked away and walked to the window, taking her heat with her, leaving him bereft. So be it.
He released his grip on the chair arms. “Jenny should have the food ready soon, if she hasn’t burned everything. Would you like your dinner served in the parlor?”
“I cannot bear to face the life everyone plans for me.” She turned an inscrutable gaze at him. “Are you planning formal dress for dinner?” Turning back, she leaned her forehead against the window pane. “The kitchen is fine. I believe Jenny has a tendre for MacEwen.”
She sounded distracted, scattered, emotionally dull, like he had finally broken through her willfulness. He needed to get her out of here before the urge to take her into his arms overcamehim.
Poking her into anger had always worked. “And what good would come of that?”
Her breath frosted the chilly window. He wondered if her eyes were closed.
“A moment of happiness,” she whispered into the glass, and then straightened. “I’ll see if she needs help in the kitchen.”
The door closed quietly behind her.
He leaned back in his chair and put a hand to his cock, and then pulled it back right away, as if he’d been scorched. It had been a close call when she’d touched his beard.
He sighed. His wash water would be cold. Scraping off this scruff, he might take some of the skin with it, which was just what he deserved.
Shedding his shirt and coats, he set about washing and shaving.
She’d walked off despondent, but she’d come around to hating him again. He’d talk to her brother and ask him to keep this from the rest of the family.
He hated seeing her unhappy, but it was the only choice. Between the Scotsman and the maid there was more chance for a moment of happiness than there could ever be for him and Perry.
Tomorrow, he’d send MacEwen for her brother. He’d get the name of her brother’s estate over supper, and then he’d go out, for the rest of the night if need be, anything to keep away from the girl. Or he’d go and sleep in the stable with MacEwen. The straw couldn’t be any lumpier than this mattress.
“You’resure you won’t join us, miss?” Jenny shifted the tray onto the table, sliding the stacked coins out of the way. And why would Lady Perry be counting her coins?
“Are you quite all right, miss? I can just as well cart this back to the kitchen if you’ll but join us.”
Lady Perry turned away from the window and sent her a thin smile. “I thought to give you more time with your Fergus MacEwen.”
Heat flared in her. “He’s notmyFergus MacEwen.”
That brought a real smile from Lady Perry. “Well, he’s more likely to flirt and slip up if I’m not around. You must get him to share one of his secrets.”
“I’ll serve the men when they come down and come back in a bit for this tray.”
“No need.” Lady Perry shook her head vigorously. “Leave it until morning. And don’t worry about helping me into bed. I haven’t had a full night’s sleep since I don’t know when. Use the corridor door to your chamber. I don’t wish to be disturbed.”
She softened that last with another smile, but Jenny detected a tension around her eyes.
“Whatever you’re planning, I can be a help, my lady.”
“I’m not…I’m not planning anything.”
