Margot, of course, had opinions.
"You're not a tenant, Dec. You're family. Family doesn't pay rent. Family steals my shampoo, eats my cookies, and leaves wet towels on the floor."
"I don't leave towels on the floor," I protested.
Margot narrowed her eyes, dead serious. "Not yet. But I'm watching you. One slip and I'll bill you for emotional damages."
Billy chuckled from his workbench. "Ignore her. She just wants you to know she likes having you here."
"I don'tlikeit," Margot shot back. "Iloveit. But if I admit that out loud, you'll get all mushy and make me do a group hug, and I have a reputation to uphold."
Living with Margot and Billy, slipping into the rhythm of their lives, and balancing my work as a teacher had been a gift. Stability. Safety. For the first time in a long while, my feet felt planted on solid ground. Their laughter filled the spaces in me that used to echo with loneliness, and my students gave me purpose each morning. On the surface, things looked good.
But deep down, the yearning for Ryder never stopped. It lived in me like a second heartbeat—steady, unrelenting. At night, he haunted me. I dreamed of his face, the rough edge of his jawagainst my palm, the way his voice dropped when he whispered the words I had always ached to hear. Sometimes I woke with the echo of his name on my lips, shame burning through me for still wanting him after everything. Maybe in another life—one where we weren't so broken, one where timing hadn't been so cruel—we could have been whole together.
During the day, when I was alone, I caught myself scrolling through old photos, punishing myself with nostalgia. There was one picture I could never bring myself to delete—him smiling at me like I was the only person in the world. My chest would ache until it felt like something inside me might split, and silent tears slipped down my cheeks, unstoppable. I would whisper a prayer into the darkness, asking God to let him be happy, wherever he was. Then I'd force myself to put the phone away, wipe my face, and move on as if I hadn't just unraveled.
I even tried dating again. It was a disaster. Coffee dates that ended in polite excuses, dinners where I sat stiff and numb, waiting for a spark that never came. Every attempt fizzled out before it could even pretend to become something real. I couldn't let my guard down. Couldn't let anyone close. My love for Ryder sat there like a stubborn ember that refused to burn out, untouchable and impossible to extinguish. No one else even stood a chance.
I asked Jan about the trial, needing reassurance that things were moving forward. She always told me it was going well, but I refused to hear anything about Ryder. It was too raw, too dangerous for me to reopen that wound. When I finally heard about the trial and the verdict, I cried. But for the first time, they were tears of joy. Ryder was free. Free and, I hoped, happy—flourishing somewhere far from the shadows that had once kepthim chained. That thought was enough for me, enough to let me breathe easier.
I was still lost in my thoughts when the knock came at the door. I assumed it was Lisa, our neighbor since her son was one of my students, and she often came by. I opened the door, already half-smiling.
But my smile froze.
Standing at my front door was the one person I had been both praying for and trying to let go of for nearly a year.
"Ryder?"
"Hi, Dec," he said softly.
My heart lurched. I slammed the door shut in his face and leaned against it, frozen. My palms pressed flat against the wood as if I could hold him back with sheer force.
Margot and Billy appeared almost instantly from the living room, alerted by the sound.
She arched a brow, "That better not be Amazon! you know they blacklist people for that.""
"No, it is Ryder" Billy added, eyes kind but cautious. "We'll leave you two alone if you want to talk. He asked me last week if he could come by. I told him yes, but December, if you say the word, he's gone. We just thought... maybe it might help you with closure."
I couldn't find my voice. My throat burned, my chest tight.
"Just listen if you want," Billy said gently. "And if not... that's it. He'll leave."
My lips finally parted. "Okay."
I opened the door again. Margot and Billy exchanged a glance, then slipped away, leaving me alone with Ryder on the porch. It had been almost a year since I last saw him. Almost a year since everything shattered.
He looked... different. Thinner, his features sharper, more tired. But still so heartbreakingly handsome—broad-shouldered, built like a sculpture, with eyes that had always been too kind for the mess of his past. He looked at me with hesitation, as if unsure if he was allowed to exist here, in front of me.
"I don't know where to start," he said, his voice rough. "I have so much to say."
I didn't speak. My silence pushed him forward.
"First of all, I need to apologize. Not just for lying, but for putting you in danger. It doesn't matter if I didn't mean it. It doesn't matter if I was broken. What matters is that I hurt the most amazing, kind, wonderful woman I've ever known. That's my cross to bear."
I swallowed hard, staring at him, at the tears gathering in his eyes.
"I want you to know that everything I ever said and every word I spoke at the gym was bullshit. You are beautiful, Dec. So beautiful it takes my breath away. You're the sweetest, most gorgeous soul I've ever met." His voice cracked, trembling with something closer to desperation than simple honesty. "If youcould see inside my heart, you'd know the place you hold there. You'd see your name carved into every corner."
