“No. She’s not allowed to socialise. Neither am I. We work. We go home. She should have been in the middle of her third shift at the factory. But she wasn’t, was she?”
“No, Jules, she wasn’t,” Dax responds.
“She was with Carlo,” I state but they know I’m asking too.
“And how did you make the leap to Carlo?” Aiden asks.
“Because it’s not a leap. Carlo is in love with my mother. Has been for years. When Niall said he ran out of the bar right around the time Mum left us, it made sense. I assume his afternoons off are when he meets with Mum?”
“At least today…yes.” Dax gives me the truth. I appreciate it.
“When did you notice?” Aiden pipes up, flicking glances at me in the rear-view.
I answer their honesty with my own. “The minute Mum showed up, I knew something was off. She was too angry. Sure, I know she resents me mostly.” She always has. Much the same as Dad, she’s always treated me differently and when I got older, it occurred to me that perhaps the reason was the same as Dad’s. He’s always wished I’d never been born. Like he always says,daughters are a waste of air. With Mum, I suspect I make her feel guilt. Still, she’s never treated me quite the way she did today. I think of the best way to say it. “…but she’s never usually that…aggressive or obvious with her resentment,” I explain.
The two men share a complex look.
Dax nods and confirms what I already know. “She was with Carlo. I didn’t stop long enough to ask why.”
“How did you know where to find her?”
“Because I’ve had someone tailing Carlo Girard since he fronted up to me in the bar,” Aiden admits.
“And I’ve had someone watching over your mother for the same reason that Aiden and I are sticking close to you.”
Ah yes, the other danger in my life. “That damned envelope.”
“Exactly. I’m doing my best to keep youallsafe, Jules,” Dax admits, turning back in his seat to stare out the windscreen. “Though, I’m wondering if any of them actually deserve it,” he mumbles. Aiden huffs a sound suspiciously like agreement and I can’t help but wonder the same.
My family has been lying to me. I always knew my father was a selfish prick, but to discover my mum was hiding things too — maybe even having an affair. Seems the pair of them are driven by self-interest.
If Mum wasn’t working, why didn’t she get the kids out of the house? Why wasn’t she home dealing with Dad instead of me? Why wasn’t she feeding the kids, washing them, caring for them?I took on the responsibility because I thought I had to. She was at work, so I cared for them. I took Dad’s attention away from them. Seems I was taking his attention away from her too.
God. I’m so fucking done. I’m so tired. When do I get to stop?
The heat in the car is comforting and encourages me to close my eyes. I want the world to disappear. I want to forget who I am, but there’s no forgetting. I can’t even escape the day, not when the remains of it are splattered and turning sour on my clothes. The smell fast becomes pungent in the confines of the car. I roll down the window and hope the night scents of Harrison city wash me away.
“I need to shower and change,” I admit. “I stink, and we’re all too polite to say it.”
Aiden snorts. Dax smiles. “Can I ask what the combination is? I’m not sure I’ve ever come across it before?”
I laugh. “Parfum d’œufs.” Don’t ask me why I use French, perhaps it’s to soften the embarrassment. The change in language, however, surprises both men who turn to look at me. You’d think I was a stranger with the way they stare at me as if they’ve never seen me before. Aiden turns back to watch the road, but Dax settles himself sideways to watch me.
“Tu parles français?” Dax tests.
“Un peu…and by peu, I mean a miniscule amount,” I admit, switching back to English before they test me on my language skills. I know a little more than I’m letting on, but I’ve never actually practised, so I probably sound stupid out loud.
“Bright too,” Dax adds, like he’s taking notes.
“Her courses tell us that,” Aiden teases.
“True. She’s observant too.” Dax banters back, the two of them taking pleasure in my frown.
“Very. She’s proving remarkably interesting.” Aiden shoots me another glance, but instead of a smirk, his face is contemplative.
“She’s also sitting right here…” I throw in.
“Good hearing, it seems.” Aiden laughs turning away again,resuming whatever nonsense game the pair are playing with me.
