I suck in a breath and, with it, all my resolve. “I’m also thinking I’d like to thank you sometime soon for helping me transfer to Harrison University, but right now, I’m going to be a little selfish.” He needs to know that what happens next isn’t a trauma response, or a grab for security, or payback, or thanks. It’s a consensual arrangement. It’s something I want, and I hope he…they…might want too.
“Selfish?” Dax murmurs.
“I think selfish is a wonderful idea, Tiger.” Aiden slides in behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, nuzzling my neck. His touch, his encouragement, lend me the strength I need to push out the words. To lay bare my intention and my needs.
“You owe me an orgasm, Dax. I’m interested in collecting, and if you don’t want to give it to me, I’ll ask Aiden.”
Fuck. That was too bold. The wording…if he takes offence…so much could go wrong, but I’ve never seduced anyone in my life. I don’t even really know what I’m asking for or how it would work with all three of us in the equation, but I made the first move. Albeit a stumbling one.
Dax strides forward, almost joining me in the centre of the room, where all three of us seem to have gravitated. Meeting in the middle seems like a perfect way to begin whatever this is.
But he stops a step or two short. I watch as doubt clouds his expression. “Are you sure this isn’t just a response to…I thought you didn’t…?”
Time for some honesty on my part too, it seems. “And I thought you didn’t care. That you were playing with me. I thought I wasn’t even worthy of being compared to your ex.”
The horror that crosses Dax’s face tells me I read it wrong. Aiden was right.
“No! No, Jules! It’s not about worth. There is no comparison between the two of you, but not because of what I felt for her. It’s because of everything I feel for you.”
“Smooth,” Aiden whispers, and the double skipping thump in my chest seems to agree.
But Dax isn’t done. “I’m sorry I made you think that and can’t even explain…”
I shake my head. I don’t want him to take any more responsibility on his shoulders. He doesn’t have to save every situation. And getting mired inshoulda woulda coulda’swill kill the possibility of us just enjoying tonight.
“You don’t have to. Not until you’re ready. I —” Dax doesn’t give me the chance tell him how long I’ll wait or how resolutely I’ll stand by. He presses his mouth to mine and holds my words hostage between us until they don’t even matter anymore.
His kiss is deep. Slow. It holds meaning. As he pulls back, staring into my eyes and asking if I’m okay with just a look, I realise I’m safe. For the first time in a long time, I’m where I want to be, and with the people I want to be with. A settling sensation sinks into my bones, relieving the tension and weariness.
Is this peace?
Aiden pulls away gently, and a little of the rightness fades into cold.
“You’re going?” I ask.
He nods. “You and Dax have some making up to do. There’ll be other chances for us to play together. For now, I’m going to leave you both to it.” Aiden leans in and kisses me just as gently as Dax did, lingering to leave the taste of sugar and cinnamon on my lips.
Next, he embraces Dax, touching their foreheads together in the way sportsmen do sometimes. “Use that mouth wisely, Dax. If words get you in trouble, then use them to get yourself out of it.”
“I plan on it.”
They pull apart, and two sets of hungry eyes trail my body.Fuck. It’s too damn intense.
Aiden sighs longingly and turns to leave.
And as much as I want him to stay, he’s only going because I’m not quite ready for them both.
Not yet.
Chapter Five
Dax’s hand strokes up my neck. His thumb sweeps across my cheek and into my hair while he leans in and kisses me again. He pulls me into the kiss and I take it as my cue to press myself against him, to experience the heat of his bare chest and the firmness of his muscles. I grant my hands the permission to explore; my palms that were roughly gripping his waist, reach across the vast landscape of his back. I score my nails gently against his skin. I can’t tell whether he likes the sensation, only that it spurs him to groan into my mouth; to press and flick his tongue harder against mine. His kiss turns dominating and he holds me so tightly, I’m almost lifted from the floor.
He stumbles back, bringing me with him, not releasing my lips even for a breath. My bones shudder as he crashes into the bed with the backs of his legs, but even that doesn’t stop him. No, he lifts me up, my legs hooking instinctively around his waist, and brings us both down on the mattress. I arch back, sucking in a sighing breath, and look down at him.
There’s no smile, no teasing, no flirty amusement in his expression, just a depth—an earnestness that takes my breath away.
We hesitate, and I’m reminded of the last time he just stopped like this. Stopped and waited. Stared into my eyes and held on—
