“Of my growing attachment to your pretty pussy? Why?”
“I’m just trying to figure out if this is an ‘eyes up here!’ scenario.”
“No, this is me sweet-talking you before making another introduction.”
“Ah, but we already established you prefer to make grand entrances over quick introductions.”
“Very true.” Dax pushes himself onto his arms and crawls up my body as gracefully as a panther stalking prey. Only he’s already devoured me, so his hunt holds none of the fear and all the anticipation. I spread my legs a little wider to accommodate his hips. He hooks his left leg up and beneath mine, encouraging mine to raise higher still. Pushing his weight onto his right arm, he runs his left hand all the way down the back of my thigh and over the curve of my arse. He lifts and settles into position. His firm cock, still inside his trousers, rocks ever so gently against my swollen, greedy flesh.
His hand runs all the way along my leg, extending me until my toes point over his shoulder. Up and down, his hand strokes.
“Flexible.”
“Just like you wanted,” I remind him of that conversation on our first night here. Sure, he meant it in other ways, but we’ve already established the innuendo was just as much our truth.
“Can you hold on to the headboard?” he asks. I wonder if he’s teasing, but when I look into his eyes, I see his question is genuine. I reach up, acting both brazen and a little stupid. “Good girl,” he praises. “Now don’t move.” He shifts carefully, leaning over the bed and to his bedside cabinet, yanking open the drawer and pulling out a couple of foil wrappers.
Shame fills me. I hadn’t even thought of suggesting protection. I’ve been so wrapped up in the moment, so wrapped up in my pleasure, that I didn’t think…And considering my life, considering who I am and where I come from, thinking is the only thing I’m good for. I never want to become like my mother…or worse…what if he thinks I’m a gold digger…trapping him on the off chance…?
“Hey! Where did you just go?”
“Huh?” I look at his hands, but he’s using them to hold himself up and the other to cup my cheek. I release the headboard, feeling like a huge idiot. So stupid. Unsexy. Pathetic. He was probably just seeing how far I’d go to make him happy. Naïve fool.
Dax’s soft smile vanishes. “Fuck. What did I do?”
“Nothing,” I whisper, shaking my head and wanting to turn away completely, but he’s holding my face. “I’m sorry.”
“What for, Jules? What just happened?”
“I guess it’s my turn to freak out,” I say and chuckle, but the sound is obviously strained and false.
“Talk to me. We don’t have to do anything…just don’t hide from me, please, Jules.”
“Aren’t you afraid of the shit and baggage I could bring?” His eyebrows furrow at my question.
“What shit? Vale shit?” he asks. A light of understanding creeps across his face, settling the harsh lines and furrows I putthere.
I nod. It’s as good a term as any.
“No, I’m not worried. Never with you, because I’m Vale shit, Jules. Not you. You’re a fucking rarity. I was born in the dark, wrapping it around me and spreading it to everyone I touch. I could never be afraid of you. You’ve not brought trouble to me once, but already I’ve ruined your life…” His eyes widen. “Fuck.” He pulls away, rising to his knees. “I’ve ruined your life.”
What just happened?
“No…no, Dax.”
“I shouldn’t be here.” He looks around as though confused. I can see it in his eyes—he’s going to run again. We’re the same. We’re so much alike.
“Of course you should be here. It’s your fucking room!” I shout, interrupting whatever chain of thoughts has him ready to leap to his feet. “Jesus Christ. We’re fucking perfect for each other. We’re both a mess because of the Vale.”
He observes me warily as I get up and kneel facing him.
“Listen. I don’t care. I don’t give a shit about what you’ve done or who you were before now. I’m sure you’ve made shitty decisions and fucked up more than once. I. DON’T. CARE!” I snap fiercely, driving it home as hard as I can. Holding his face the way he held mine before; determined yet gentle, letting him see he’s someone precious. “You haven’t ruined my life. My mother marrying Eric, Eric beating me senseless, growing up afraid and with nothing, being lied to, feeling responsible for everyone and everything, Barry Franz, and what’s-his-face Hanson…these things make my life a living nightmare, but it’s still not ruined, Dax Nagano!”
I kiss him softly.
“Only I can ruin my life. No one else carries that weight. The world could fall around me, but as long asImake the choice to get up and keep going, then nothing is ruined, even if I die trying. Do you see?Iam the reason I succeed or fail. I make those choicesmyself. Stop carrying the weight of other people’s choices.”
“If it weren’t for Tom…”
