He clearly knows me too well because he’s right. But so am I. I’m the target. Sylvie went her whole life without incident until showed up.
“I know.” Dax sighs, resignation stamping his words in the room and in my ears. “You know how I am.”
“I do, which is why you always got a pass from me, but no more passes, Dean Maxwell Nagano. No more excuses. You’re going to do actual harm, and I won’t allow it. Grow up.”
That phrase lands hard before it triggers and detonates.
“Grow up? GROW UP?” Dax roars. “I had no fucking choice but to grow up. You weren’t the one raising a kid on the streets. I didn’t get the school, proms, girls, football, fucking three-meals-a-day life that you did.”
I sit up and pull myself to the end of the bed, trying to see them both. Will they come to blows? Do I need to break this up, or should I leave Aiden to take care of this like I said I would?
Aiden scoffs as though he’s heard this argument before.
“No. You didn’t, and it fucking sucks for you, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to carry your damage and wave it around like a fucking bludgeon for the rest of your life, with nothing but‘I-had-it-hard’as your excuse to keep hurting people.” Aiden steps into Dax’s space as he speaks. The two men are almost chest to chest and staring down their noses at each other, chins tipped up, readyfor the fight.
“Fuck you!” Dax shoves Aiden backward.
“No, fuck that!” Aiden shoves back. “You know who else had it hard? That girl up there. She’s probably had it worse, and you don’t see her taking it out on you,” Aiden shouts back. Two sets of eyes stare up toward the mezzanine, catching me staring back. Aiden’s lips thin. Dax’s brows furrow.
“You fucked her, didn’t you?” he accuses next. “Is that how it’s going to be from now on? I fuck up and you comfort her? Are you trying to show her that you’re the better choice? The better man?”
“This is exactly the shit I’m talking about! What happens between Jules and me has nothing to do with you or your behaviour. Just like what happened between you both had nothing to do with me. We’re grown adults…or at least some of us are. You clearly need more work.”
“Self-righteous prick.”
“Stop making this all about you and think of the damage. Think about how she must be feeling right now, listening to us acting like idiots. She’s relying on us to get this right.”
I withdraw from the edge and work further up the bed, steeling myself for what I’m about to hear. Wondering how I defend my decision to sleep with Aiden and hating that I feel I must. They suggested this three-way relationship, not me, but sure,I’m the problem. I’m the toy tugged between them.
“Fuck. Did she…? Is she okay? Happy?” I hear Dax ask, though his temper and volume are far more controlled. I hold still to listen.Happy?Am I happy? he asks? It’s my turn to scoff.
“I imagine she’s fucking seething right now, and desperate for a coffee. Let me pour these and we can take this down a notch. For the record, you don’t have to like what I say, but I hope you at least consider it. I’d never say it if it weren’t for your own good.” From Aiden’s tired tone, the fights gone out of him, and when Dax’s answer mirrors Aiden’s exhaustion, I can tell the argument is over.
“I know, I just…” A pulsing, incessant buzz rings out, interrupting them. “Shit, I left Frank downstairs. Let me just get this.” Dax’s feet clack against the wooden floor and then the noise stops. I can bet his pacing doesn’t though. He’s probably just wearing a groove in the rug by the sofa. I hear Aiden tinkering with the machine and getting the coffee ready, and I consider ducking into the bathroom to avoid the embarrassment of facing either of them. It’s not that I want to eavesdrop, but the acoustics in this place mean I have no choice. A fact I’m sure they’re both aware of.
Fuck it. Own it.
I fish Aiden’s t-shirt off the floor and slide into it before taking the stairs down to join them. Both men stop to stare as I descend.
“No panties, Tiger? Are you trying to shut us up? Because it’s working.” Aiden nods his head to Dax, who’s still staring at me with his phone to his ear…call forgotten.
He shakes himself out of his stupor as his face scrunches in distaste. “What? No, repeat what you just said…why? Leave? Is he even okay to…Fine, but not right now. Tell him he stays there for two more weeks, or I’ll put him in a recovery centre in another city.” Dax huffs loudly and paces back and forth between the kitchen and the elevator, as though debating whether to leave or stay.
“Figure out the logistics of a medical setup at the compound. Arrange for a ground floor room to host his machines and stuff. Tell him it’ll take time to arrange and stall the little dipshit. Does Sylvie know about this? Fine. Make the calls. I’ll be down with Aiden and Jules soon. Yes, she’s fucking coming back, Frank. I’m bringing her home.” Dax shoots a look in my direction, as if asking for my belated permission. As much as I’d rather stay out of this bullshit, he needs Aiden back, so I nod my agreement.
Home.
The compound is as much my home as Eric’s apartment now, in that neither offers sanctuary. I’m not wanted at either of them. Eventually, I’ll be forced to leave the compound just like I had toleave Eric’s. If the place I grew up in isn’t home…then is anywhere?
I find myself yearning for the privacy of this hidden loft. If only I could stay here with Dax and Aiden, away from the Trevainne bullshit, away from Eric’s bullshit, too. Sure, it’s a pipedream. Even Aiden doesn’t get to enjoy this place. What was it he said about coming here?Once in a blue moon. If he can’t escape from Trevainne, UACT, and Diverprop, then what are my chances? How do I stay under the radar, even in a place as well protected as this?
“What’s wrong?” Dax asks, stepping forward and rubbing the skin between my brows. “You’ll get wrinkles if you keep frowning so hard. What has you worried?”
“I was just thinking that it’d be nice to stay here for a while. Or better yet just vanish for a bit. Go somewhere quiet, free from all the trouble, and just escape for a little while,” I admit, grabbing the coffee Aiden slides across the counter.
“If you’d prefer that…” Dax looks to Aiden.
Aiden shrugs. “I can arrange a safe house. Set you up with a new ID, but you’d have to leave everything behind. Harrison, us, college, work…”
