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I crept back into the bedroom to shower and change. Whatever conversation he was having with Meagan was between the two of them. Besides, my head hurt too much to think about it for too long.
I stood under the shower for a long time. The warm water felt good and washed away the last of the grime I felt from the night before. It was as if I stepped out of the shower a different person than I had been when I entered.
My stomach started rumbling while I dried off and I hurried along so I could grab something to eat and check on the kids. I knew they were fine with Nathaniel, but I needed to see them. I pulled on a robe and stepped into the bedroom to find Nathaniel peeking his head in.
“I heard the shower,” he said. “How are you?”
“Better after my shower.”
“Is Mommy awake?” Elizabeth squeezed past her father. “Mommy, you’re up. Daddy said we had to be quiet because you were sleeping. Are you sick? Are you better now?”
I pulled her into a hug. “I wasn’t feeling good, but I’m better now. Especially since I’ve had a hug from you.”
She beamed at me. “I fixed you oatmeal. Daddy helped.”
“Sounds great,” I said. “Where’s your brother?”
“Here he is,” Nathaniel said, holding the door open for a toddling Henry.
“Mamma!” he called and then ran as quickly as his stubby legs could go, laughing as I swung him up in my arms.
“Did you help with the oatmeal, too?” I asked, smelling his hair to drink in his clean little boy scent and wrinkling my nose instead at the scent that met me.
“No,” Elizabeth said. “But Daddy let him throw the trash away.”
“Trash can’s his new favorite toy,” Nathaniel explained.
“That explains the smell.” I passed him to Nathaniel. “He needs a bath.”
“Linda will be here in about fifteen minutes. She’s going to keep them until tomorrow night.”
Had he made the arrangement with his aunt because he didn’t want them around for what he had in mind? The penthouse didn’t have a playroom. Before me, he’d never brought a woman to this space and we had never seen the need to add a special room. He’d always brought a toy bag with him when we stayed in the city.
I was more subdued as we all walked to the kitchen. Elizabeth chatted about the tea party she’d had last night and how Henry wanted to eat all the cookies. Of course at the word “cookie,” Henry pulled on Nathaniel’s leg and said, “Please.”
“Not so early in the day,” Nathaniel replied.
They all sat at the table with me while I ate and Nathaniel made sure I drank plenty of water. Even though he had been easygoing and lighthearted, there was an underlying tension between us. Faint, but there nonetheless. I might feel better physically after last night, but mentally there were still issues we had to deal with.
Nathaniel felt it too, I could tell. He was jovial and playful with the kids, but the tension in his jaw and the rigidity of his spine belied the front he put on. It was still noticeable when Linda came by. She didn’t question anything, but gave us each a quick hug before gathering the kids and heading out.
The silence that hit me when the door closed behind them was louder than the kids had been.
Nathaniel brushed my cheek. “Come to my office in ten minutes. You can leave the robe on if you prefer.”
What followed had to be the longest ten minutes of my life. After he left, I cleaned my bowl and tidied up the kitchen. With two minutes remaining, I slipped out of the robe and walked to his office wearing only my panties and a bra.
He stood leaning against his desk and nodded to the floor in the middle of the room. Everything felt so cold as I slid to my knees, bowed my head, and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
His office floor was made of wood and it didn’t take long for my knees to start aching. Within minutes, they hurt as much as my head. All of which he knew, I was certain.
“Look at me,” he finally said and I lifted my eyes to meet his troubled ones. “What happened last night scared the hell out of me. I can’t imagine how it made you feel. You went through something I never wanted you to experience and though neither one of us probably want to, we have to discuss it.” He nodded toward the chair across from his desk. “Go sit down.”
He remained standing, watching as I crossed the room to do his bidding.
“Even without your collar on, are you still my submissive?” he asked when I’d sat down.
“Yes, Sir.” I wasn’t wearing his collar, so I didn’t have to call him anything. Yet, somehow doing so seemed appropriate.
“When we go to a BDSM club together, who protects you?”
“You, Sir.”
“And how am I to protect you when I’m not there?”
“You can’t, Sir.”
“Exactly. Outside of the fact that you are mine and any Dominant wanting to interact with you has to obtain my permission, you are truly my only treasure, my beloved, my life. I would kill to keep you safe and I can’t do it if I’m not with you.”
Tears stung my eyes.
“If it hadn’t been for Jeff last night, you would have been assaulted. That man would have put his hands on you, hurt you, and done things I have nightmares about. And the entire time it was happening, I couldn’t stop him because I wouldn’t have known to.”
I sniffled. “I’m sorry, Sir. I understand I should have called.”
“You were wrapped up in yourself and didn’t think about the consequences your actions could have had.”
“Yes, Sir. I see that.”
He sighed. “I’m torn on what to do. I should cane you for going to a club without my permission. You know better. I understand that you didn’t know that woman was bringing you there. But let’s make one thing clear to start: You are not to interact with any Dom inside a club without getting my approval. You know this.”
I started trembling at the mention of a cane. I fucking hated those things when used for punishment. And he was right. I had known better.
“But you were nearly assaulted and I can’t find it within me to punish you corporally after such an incident.”
I waited for what seemed like hours. Based on past experiences, the tension between us wouldn’t go away until my actions had been dealt with. Our lives were governed by rules that were not followed by the world at large. They were there because it was what we needed. It didn’t mean they were always pleasant.
“Go stand and face the wall,” he finally said.
I swallowed a groan before he heard it. I hated standing against a wall. He’d had me do it only a handful of times before. But in looking over my options, I reminded myself it was better than the cane.
I rose to my feet before he could accuse me of stalling and walked to the back wall opposite his desk. It was possible he’d want to sit and observe me while I stood. On the way, I made certain not to look his way. He’d probably be standing with arms crossed, or wearing that cool, distant look. Probably both.
I stood an inch from the wall with my hands by my side. Too late, I realized the spot I’d picked was under an air vent blowing cool air. Or maybe he’d known I’d pick that spot and that’s why he chose to have me join him here instead of in the living room. Who could ever tell with him?
The cool air danced along my exposed back, instantly making my skin pebble with gooseflesh. I wouldn’t get too cold, but it certainly wouldn’t be comfortable.
“You are to stand as still as possible,” he said. “And because you’ll probably be tempted to think only about how cold you are, I want you to think about how I felt when you walked into our house with a strange man. Then I want you to imagine how scared I was when I realized the danger you’d been in.”
If I knew him at all, once he allowed me to move, he’d ask me to write down the thoughts I’d had while I stood. Anytime before when I’d stood against a wall, he’d tell me how long he was going to have me stand.
“I haven’t decided how long you’ll be there,” he said as if reading my mind. “Time begins now,” he said.
At first it was difficult to think about anything other than the discomfort of the air temperature. But I focused on his warning and forced my mind to imagine his thoughts last night.
As I stood there, the image that kept coming to my mind was a picture of him arriving home with a strange woman after I knew he’d been out p
artying. The impact of that image gutted me. Just
