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though, I needed to touch him probably as much as he needed to be touched.
“I should get a kite for the kids,” he said. His face broke into a grin. “Can’t you see Elizabeth running through the yard, Henry toddling along behind her?”
“Yes, but I’ll have to stand on the sidelines and cheer everyone on. It’s doubtful my kite-flying abilities have improved over the years.”
We started walking again, holding hands and enjoying the peacefulness of the surroundings. There were a few seagulls out and we laughed as they fought over pieces of bread. Farther down the beach, the family that had been flying the kite had stopped and the two kids were building a sand castle.
“I like Delaware,” he said. “And I’ve been thinking we should invest in more real estate.”
“Oh?” We owned our share of real estate, I thought. Though, as he’d told me once before, real estate, especially land, was always a good investment because it was a limited resource.
“Tax rate would be great here. We should definitely look into buying in Delaware.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, I think Wilmington.”
“I guess.” We’d been married for over seven years, but sometimes he still had the ability to shock me speechless. I thought a bit more. “Yes, I like that idea.”
“Why don’t you look online to see what you can find?” He pointed up the shore toward the dunes. “Let’s go sit.”
We made our way away from the water and shared a brief laugh at the clumsy way I sat down. I told Nathaniel it was his fault. After all, he’d been the one to pick out the skirt with no panties.
“I’d hate to flash the entire beach,” I said, once I’d sat down without incident.
“True. There are children present.”
Which only made me think about what we could do if there weren’t children present. Though that might not be a bad thing. I bet having sand in your private parts was uncomfortable.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“I’m weighing the pros and cons of beach sex.”
“Oh? And what do you think?”
“I’m guessing it wouldn’t be fun to have sand up in your parts. Because, owww. And what a pain to have to clean.”
He laughed. “Yes, that fact is overlooked when they film movies, isn’t it? I’m willing to bet it’s actually really uncomfortable, but everyone thinks it’s so romantic because of the ocean or something.”
“Reminds me of how I thought going a month before our wedding without sex was romantic.”
“Yes, the only thing worse would have been to be abstinent and covered in wet sand.”
“Good thing we went to Switzerland.”
He chuckled and pulled me to him so my back was against his chest. I sighed. It was one of those precious moments where everything felt right. The beach, being with him, wearing his collar, and held in his arms.
“I don’t ever want to leave this moment in time,” I said.
He hugged me closer. “It is rather perfect, isn’t it?”
“Makes me remember the last time it was warm enough for us to have a family picnic on the beach. Remember taking Apollo and how crazy he went?” One of his favorite things to do was chase seagulls. The last time we took him, there was one who played a game of chicken with him. Allowing him to get close, but then flying away at the last second. Apollo would look at him in disbelief and then bark at him.
I felt him nod behind me. “Poor guy, he just wanted a seagull snack. He’s getting old, though. We probably shouldn’t let him be so wild.”
I didn’t like thinking about Apollo getting old. He’d been part of our lives for so long, I just always pictured him with us. “Nah, he’s a trouper; he’ll be fine. Running along the beach and playing in the sand probably keep him young.” I twisted in his arms. “You’re serious about me looking for property, right?”
“Absolutely.” The wind pushed my hair in my face when I turned, and he brushed it away. “Just think, summers here and at the estate, winters in Switzerland, and New York City when we need to meet our yearly quota of smog.”
“I like the sound of the beach and the slopes, but I know I couldn’t be away from the city for too long. It becomes part of you after a while.” I didn’t mind complaining about New York’s many issues, but no matter how often I did, the truth was the city would always be an important part of my life.
“The city’s a part of me, too,” Nathaniel said. “But the truth is, home is wherever you are.”
I cupped the side of his face with my palm, my fingers brushing the familiar contours there. “Wherever we are.”
He leaned forward to kiss me and for the next few minutes, home was found in his lips against mine, my arms around him, and the beating of our hearts.
Chapter Twelve
I woke up alone the next morning. Surprised, I rolled over to look at the clock and found it was only a little past six. He hadn’t said anything about being up and out of the room that early, though he had said he’d be in meetings most of the day. I was a bit disappointed I hadn’t seen him before he left for work.
I stretched under the covers, still sore and achy from the activities of the last few days. He’d been so demanding lately. It really wasn’t like him. I could still see him though, the essence of who he was and how he felt for me, even when he was being unmovable in his dominance.
But maybe it was like him. Maybe that was where his request to play more frequently had come from. I knew he wanted ideas by the time we left so I needed to get busy.
But I knew I couldn’t start coming up with ideas until I first came to terms with how I felt about it. While it was true I loved his dominant nature, how often did I want to submit to it?
I wasn’t sure.
And how often was more often? We’d always agreed that a twenty-four/seven relationship wasn’t for us. But if he wanted to extend our monthly time, was that where it was headed?
Tired of thinking about it, I pushed the blankets to the side and got out of bed. Maybe a hot shower would help ease my mind as well as my body.
But there was a note waiting for me in the bathroom.
Abigail,
You looked so peaceful sleeping, I didn’t want to wake you up. I’ll be in meetings most of the day today, so you’ll be on your own until I get back to the room around six.
I want you to spend some time thinking about what we talked about yesterday. Write in your journal what you’re thinking. Jot down your ideas. We can discuss them later.
You can order room service for lunch or go out. If you go out on your own, text me to let me know where you’re going and when you get back. You’re falling behind on your workouts, so you need to fit one in before I get back this evening.
Nathaniel
I sighed and decided I’d start on my journal and thoughts after the shower.
Hours later, I had half a dozen notebook pages filled but no clear answer. I simply didn’t know how I felt. Part of me was turned on by the thought of extending my collared time, but another part of me thought maybe what we did was enough. What would be the point in doing more? How would we fit it in with all our other responsibilities?
Because it was what Nathaniel wanted.
But that alone wasn’t enough to justify a fundamental change in our marriage. It had to happen because we both wanted it. And would I have ever brought up playing more often if he hadn’t?
My head spun while I thought over the different scenarios and outcomes until I finally slammed the notebook shut and slapped my pen on top of it.
“Enough!” I said to nobody. “You’ve spent enough time on this for one morning. Let it rest.”
