Seth exhaled heavily, shoulders drooping like he carried the weight of every storm cloud that had passed over these fields. “I understand, Cull, but damn, I miss her.” He shook his head, as if to dislodge memories. “She just left, and I fucking miss her like crazy. I shouldn’t have kissed her and I sure as shit shouldn’t have had sex with her.”
“You two had sexual tension from day one,” Cull said quietly. “Have you even asked her what she wants?”
Seth’s jaw tightened. “She was here to tell me she’d stay, if I’d ask her.”
“Let me guess… you didn’t, did you?” Cull’s voice rose over the distant whinny of a restless horse.
Seth managed a wry smirk that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Because I know she’d end up leaving. Clifton isn’t for everyone, especially a city girl like her. No big-name shops, no RodeoDrive. You remember Autumn. I’m not going through that again. There’s nothing to keep Ryan here.” He kicked at a tuft of grass with his scuffed boot.
“Except you,” Cull countered. “She loves you, Seth. Autumn wanted you away from here from the start, she never even gave us men the time of day. But Ryan… Ryan didn’t want to leave here. She wanted to stay.” He brushed his hand over his chin. “You two need to talk this out. If you honestly think she won’t be happy here, then you’ll know if you should go. But do you really see yourself in California? It’s nice, sure, but it’s not home.”
“She only wanted me because I was different from other men she’d dated.” Seth’s voice was small in the vast, starlit paddock.
“You don’t believe that any more than I do,” Cull said. “But California isn’t your home.”
Seth stared out where moonlight washed the corral rails in silver. Darkness swallowed the far posts, turning them into ghostly silhouettes. His jaw set.
“But it is Ryan’s.”
Cull sighed, the sound like a slow exhale. “You shouldn’t do anything before you talk with her.”
“I’ll think about it.” Seth lifted one foot and rested it on the bottom rail, hands finding their way into his pockets.
“You do that, you hardheaded prick.” Cull cracked a small, fond smile, and Seth’s low chuckle broke the tension. “I’m heading home, got to get some food in me. Long day of dust and complaints.”
“Complaints about what?” Seth asked.
“The guys bitched about the heat today. Not two days ago they were complaining it was too cold, then it got colder later in the day.” Cull walked back into the barn doorway. “Welcome to Clifton. Night, Seth.”
“See you Monday morning.” Seth watched his friend’s silhouette melt into the dim interior, then turned back to the corral.
After a long moment, he decided to shake off the weight twisting his gut. A hot shower, slipping under crisp sheets, and mindless TV until sleep claimed him, that was the only way to quiet the images of Ryan that haunted every dark corner of his mind. Closing his eyes meant seeing her. The one woman he wanted but knew he could never have.
****
At noon on Sunday, Ryan hugged Alyssa as they cried. “I’ll miss you. Please, keep in touch, Ryan.”
“I will. What are you going to do?”
Alyssa smiled. “I think I’m going to stay. I saw there’s a storefront for sale. If I can sell my shop at home, I’d be able to buy this one.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to go back.”
“Well, you let me know. You have my phone number, text me anytime.” Ryan pulled her into another hug, then walked to her SUV, climbed inside, closed the door and lowered the window. “I wish you all the best, Alyssa. Take care of yourself. I hope to see you again.”
“Same here. You be careful, Ryan.”
As Ryan backed up the SUV, she waved, then put the car into gear and drove off. She had a two-hour trip ahead of her to reach Kalispell, which gave her plenty of time to make her flight at seven this evening.
She had to pull off the road twice because she couldn’t see through the blur of tears that kept welling up and spilling over and she hadn’t even gotten out of Clifton yet. The second time, she jerked the rental SUV onto the gravel shoulder, threw it into park, and collapsed forward. Her forehead pressed againstthe cool leather of the steering wheel as deep, ragged sobs tore through her chest.
The sudden sharp rap against her window sent her heart into her throat. A strangled scream escaped her lips as she jerked upright, mascara-streaked face turning toward the sound. A tall officer stood there, his broad shoulders silhouetted by the hypnotic swirl of blue and red lights from his cruiser. With trembling fingers, she lowered the window, letting in the cool evening air that smelled of dust and distant rain.
“Ma’am? Are you alright?” His voice was deep, but friendly.
“No, but I will be.” She wiped at her damp cheeks with the back of her hand. “I just need a minute.”
“Could I see your license, registration and proof of insurance?” the officer asked, his face shadowed beneath the brim of his cowboy hat.
“Of course.” She fumbled through her leather wallet with clumsy fingers, extracted her California license with its too-bright photo, and passed it through the window. The glovebox clicked open, and she retrieved the rental paperwork and handed them out.
