“Do you want to get together next weekend?”
“I’ll let you know. If I can get my courage up, I’ll be going to Montana.”
“You get online right now and book a flight. Before you chicken out.”
“I should.”
“Do it, Ryan. I’m going to grab a shower, work on the book, then head to bed. Send me a text or email about your flight. Oh, you’d better ask Doris.”
“Yes, I’ll do that but I’m calling the airline first. I can cancel it if Doris can’t let me have time off. I’ll talk to her at the office. I’d rather do it in person.”
“Alright. I’ll talk to you later. Love you. Hang in there.”
“I will. Love you too.” Ryan hung up, set the phone back into the basket, pulled the plug, stood, grabbed a towel and dried off. After hanging it on the rack, she picked up her phone, entered her bedroom, pulled on a pair of sweatpants and an old T-shirt, then headed downstairs to find something to eat.
Ryan entered the office Monday morning, walked to her desk, stored her purse, then headed for Doris’s office. She was about to turn around when she saw that Doris was on the phone, but she saw Ryan and waved her in, then motioned for her to sit down.
She sat in the chair closest to the desk and waited for Doris to get off the phone. When she did, she smiled at Ryan.
“Good morning, Ryan.” Doris tilted her head. “How are you, honey?”
“Doris, I need time off.”
“I think you do too.”
“I’m going to Clifton,” Ryan said as she leaned back in the chair.
Doris grinned. “That’s a good idea.”
“Do you think so?”
“Yes. You and that man need to work something out. You’re miserable and I’d bet money he is too.”
“But he hasn’t called or anything. I sent him some photos, and all I got in a reply was that he appreciated it and the men liked them.”
“Ryan, he’s trying to play it cool. He doesn’t want you to know how much he misses you.” Doris shook her head. “Men can be so damn difficult.”
“Yeah, and we’re hard to understand.”
Doris laughed. “That just shows they don’t know everything. Look, Ryan, I’m fine with you going to Clifton. You’ll have to take vacation days. I can’t just let you have time off.”
“That’s fine. I called for a flight last night and I fly out Wednesday. If you had said no, I could have canceled.” Ryan wrung her hands together in her lap. “I’m so scared to see him.”
“I can tell. I’ve never seen you like this before. I’ve seen you upset over a breakup, but this is just consuming you and you need to find out what’s between you and if you can both live with it. I just have a feeling that if you leave, you won’t come back. I’d hate to lose you, but you need to be where you’re happy and that’s in Clifton with Seth.”
Ryan stood. “Thank you.”
“You keep me posted.”
“I will.” She walked around the desk and hugged Doris when she stood up, then Ryan made her way back to her desk.
She was terrified to see Seth, but she had to take this chance. He meant that much to her to try. She would do what she had to; to let him know she wasn’t leaving him again.
****
Seth took a sip of his coffee as he entered the barn, the bitter taste mixing with the bitterness in his heart. Could he really have made a mistake in letting her go? Was she truly the one who would really stay?
Seth closed his eyes, trying to push away the doubts that plagued his mind. The memories of her laughter, her touch, her smile, they all flooded back to him like a tidal wave of longing and sorrow. He had thought he was doing the right thing by making her go, for her sake and his, but now he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had lost the best part of himself in the process.
