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dreaded her meeting with Cole, where only a handful of members would be present. He called her an hour before, but she once again kept it short. He no longer had a need to know everything she was thinking and feeling. She was allowed to keep some things to herself. But she soon discovered keeping things to herself only made her stomach hurt.
Though she really didn’t fathom what a stomachache was until she found herself kneeling once again before Cole in front of the other senior group members.
She bowed her head and tried not to think about how it would be the last time she’d do so. He stroked her hair, bringing his fingers down to lightly graze her cheek, and her heart hurt so much she almost couldn’t breathe.
“You have done well, little one.” His thumb caressed her cheekbone. “I therefore release you from training.” The hand at her face dipped lower and undid the collar at her neck.
She felt its loss immediately, and had to force herself not to throw her hands up to put it back on. She heard Dena say once that when Jeff took his collar back, it was as if he sent her to prison. She hadn’t understood at the time. Now she understood all too well.
“Stand up for me.”
She slowly rose to her feet, wondering if he could sense her inner turmoil. But when she met his gaze, she only saw his.
“I hope I’ve served you as well as you’ve served me.” He slipped the red plastic band marking her as a submissive onto her wrist and then dropped his head to whisper, “You are strong and sweet and sexy as hell. My fervent hope is that you find the one you’re looking for and that he is worthy of you.”
She swayed on her feet.
“Easy now,” he said, holding out his hands to steady her.
“Thank you, Sir.” She really didn’t want to go to the party. She thought about going back home, but she wanted to be there even less. At least at the party she wouldn’t be alone.
“I’m DM tonight. If you need anything, come see me.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
At least as DM he wouldn’t be playing with anyone at the party. She wasn’t sure she could stand to watch that. Of course, it was only a matter of time until she saw him with someone else. Maybe it would be better to get it out of the way now. Sort of like ripping off a Band-Aid. Make the break complete.
Cole looked over her shoulder and nodded. Seconds later, Daniel dismissed the meeting. And just like that, her time with Cole ended.
He gave her one long, last look and then left to attend to his duties. Sasha hugged herself and secretly hoped no one asked her to play. Tonight it would just be enough that she was here. She glanced around the room and made her way to Julie.
As she walked, she felt the weight of numerous stares, but she didn’t even care. Not one of them was from him.
“You know,” Julie said when she’d made it to her side, “I don’t even have to ask how you’re doing. It’s written all over your face.”
Sasha choked at hearing her words from the day before. “I meant for you to say that when I’m blissfully happy.”
“There’s one thing that would make that happen, and you just let him go.”
“I had to. I was becoming more and more dependent on him.”
“Dependency is one of the best things about a committed relationship.”
Sasha crossed her arms. “This from the woman who has said nothing positive about me and Cole?”
Julie sucked in a breath like she’d been punched. “I deserved that. It’s only, you didn’t see him. It was written all over his face, too.”
“What was?”
“How much it cost him to let you go.”
• • •
Most of the time, Cole hated being DM at a party. Usually, he’d prefer to find a willing partner and spend a few hours indulging in hedonistic pleasure. Tonight, though, he didn’t want just any willing partner, he wanted Sasha. Short of that, he’d gladly be DM.
The downside being, he found himself checking in on her every so often. And though he tried to tell himself he was only looking out for her best interest, he knew that wasn’t the truth.
He walked back into the living room. Across the room, he saw Evan push back from the back wall and walk his way.
“Master Johnson,” he said. “Can I talk with you for a minute?”
Cole nodded.
“Thought you’d be interested in knowing I asked Sasha to play.”
Cole was unprepared for the possessive rage that shook his body. He actually had to hold on to the chair beside him so he didn’t punch Evan in the face.
“Oh?” he managed to get out.
“I invited her to go with me to the garage. I thought she might be more comfortable there, since we wouldn’t be alone.”
Either it had been a short scene or she’d turned him down. Cole hoped for the latter. “What happened?”
“She thanked me for the offer, but said she had to turn me down.” A mischievous grin covered his face. “She went on to say she couldn’t play with anyone who didn’t like hot tea. Said it was a hard limit.”
Cole’s laughter drew the attention of several people. Evan chuckled. “Yeah, I thought you’d get a kick out of that.”
“She’s a handful,” Cole admitted.
Evan nodded toward Cole’s right side. “William drank tea. Maybe he’ll have a better chance.”
Cole didn’t want to, but glanced over his shoulder to where Master Greene talked with Sasha. “I’ll go check it out,” he told Evan.
The younger Dom slapped his back. “Have fun with that.”
Cole crossed the room. William stood with his arms crossed, looking down at Sasha. She had a determined look on her face. Uh oh.
“Master Greene, Sasha, everything okay?” he asked.
“I came over to see if she’d be interested in playing,” William said. “I’ll let her tell you her reply.”
Cole looked down at her and raised an eyebrow. “Sasha?”
She sighed. “I told him he could give me his checklist, I’d take it into consideration, and get back in touch with him sometime later this week. But that I knew he had a long-distance relationship and I didn’t much feel like being number two on anyone’s list.”
Cole swallowed his laugh. “Even for someone who drinks hot tea?”
“Heard about that already, Sir?”
“Word travels fast.”
“Yes, even for someone who drinks hot tea.”
He looked up to find William had left. “You’re chasing potential Doms away, Sasha.”
“If they were worth my time, they wouldn’t run.”
• • •
Her words still rang in his ears over a week later as he drove to upstate New York, where he had a speaking engagement. He didn’t feel that he was in the proper mind-set to speak, much less to the group of women he’d be addressing—Kate’s hoity-toity women’s club. He’d agreed to speak to the club over a year ago, when he and Kate were still together, about fifteenth-century England. It didn’t seem right to cancel just because he wasn’t with her anymore. Damn, he wished he’d canceled.
At least he could make the trip there and back in a day. If he left early enough and didn’t mind getting back home in the dark. Of course, the long drive gave him too much time to think.
He second-guessed everything he had done with Sasha. Was he wrong to have given her a taste of a slave’s life? Had that been what made her feel like she couldn’t submit to anyone else?
He wanted to hate that she didn’t feel comfortable being with someone else. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Deep inside, he was secretly pleased. He didn’t want to imagine her serving another Dom, much less witness it.
He kept repeating her words at the party. She was usually very direct, but did she mean he shouldn’t have been chased away? Should he have insisted she stay?
After driving over four hours thinking about little else, he pulled into the driveway of the historical house with no answers. Kate saw him pull up and opened the door to
