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“There we go,” he said softly, and his hands became gentler. “Ju
st so you’re aware, I think you’re an incredibly brave woman and I’m honored to be the one chosen to help you through this.”
Her knees went a little weak. His voice was suddenly so soft, so smooth, and he was so different from how she’d pictured. It wasn’t at all how she’d imagined. And he thought she was brave. The thought made her stomach flip-flop. After what seemed forever of feeling so weak, so damaged, so damn afraid, someone saw her as brave. Maybe she could reclaim part of her former self again and he would be the one to guide her.
“When was your last attack?”
“Two months ago, I believe, Sir.”
He extended the massage to cover her entire back, further soothing her with both words and touch. “Do you know what caused that one?”
“Peter called me.”
His hands stopped for a brief moment. “I didn’t know he had contacted you.”
“I don’t like to talk about him,” she said. “He called to apologize. Said it was part of his mentorship.”
He exhaled heavily. “Peter won’t be calling you again.”
Her eyes grew teary. This protective side of him was an enduring surprise. “Thank you, Sir.”
“Thank me when I show you mercy or when I allow you to climax. There’s no need to thank me for protecting or looking after your well-being. That’s just who I am.”
Once again his words warmed her. She thought she had him figured out, but she was starting to see there was so much more to his character.
“Are there any words, places, or actions aside from what we’ve talked about that have triggered an attack?”
“Not within the last few months. After—” She swallowed. She could do this. “After it happened, they occurred frequently. I remember the first group meeting I went to . . .”
“Take your time.” His voice was soft. Patient. Odd, she thought, since there really wasn’t anything soft about him.
“Julie didn’t think I should go. We argued. I thought it would be okay since Dena was giving a talk about legal issues. I had a bad attack in the middle of her discussion. I didn’t tell anyone. I left after it was over and went to Julie’s.”
She could picture the way everyone had looked at her, the sideways glances, eyes darting away once she caught them. Even when people approached her to talk, they’d only ask how the shop was doing and once she replied with “fine” the conversation died.
“If you experience another one,” he said, his voice no longer soft, “you will contact me immediately. I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night or I’m out of town or you’re working. Understand?”
Once again he made her feel protected. “Yes, Sir.”
“How are you feeling now?”
“Much better, Sir.” She found the words came naturally. It never crossed her mind to say “fine.” “I’m calm and relaxed. I don’t feel panicky at all.”
“Stand up, little one. Be careful; you’ve been kneeling for quite some time.”
She opened her eyes and moved gingerly to her feet, slightly disappointed he was no longer massaging her back. Even so, he kept a hand on her shoulder to steady her as she stood. The afternoon shadows were growing long in the room, and she wondered exactly how much time had passed. Though she didn’t get a lot of sleep the night before, she felt rested.
Cole turned her to face him and then dropped his hands. “A very productive afternoon, I believe.”
“I believe so, too, Sir.” She followed the path of his hand as he slipped it into his pocket and wondered when he’d touch her again.
His lips curled up a bit at the corners. “Does it bother you when I touch you?”
“I enjoyed you rubbing my back.”
“Answer the question, Sasha.”
He wasn’t going to allow her to get away with anything. Already his expression had changed, all the amusement had fled. “No, Sir, it doesn’t bother me when you touch me. I like it.”
“There now, you see, that wasn’t hard at all.” His smile returned. “From here on out, you will always answer the questions I ask. If you don’t know the answer, you may reply with ‘I don’t know, Sir,’ and we’ll work from there. What you may not do is avoid the question or give me half answers. Are my expectations clear?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Do you have any questions about them?”
“No, Sir.”
He studied her intently for long seconds. “I can help you. But I have to have your trust, and that includes your honesty.”
Little by little, he was weaving his way into her mind, just like he’d said. It brought her a startling sense of security.
“If you still want to talk to Julie, I’ll call the main house and tell them you’re on your way.”
“Thank you, Sir. I would like that.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yes, Sir. And I’ll have the assignment you gave me completed.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” he said with a faint smile.
• • •
Julie waited for her at the side door of Daniel’s house. Sasha quickened her step. As Julie welcomed her inside, Sasha looked back over her shoulder toward the guesthouse. Cole was just leaving out the front door. He’d changed into shorts and a T-shirt and he raised his hand in a salute before he took off jogging toward the pond.
Julie led her through the kitchen into the living room, and they sat down on one of the couches.
“I’m not going to ask if you’re okay,” Julie started. “Daniel said we had to trust Cole, so I’m going to try really hard to do that. Besides”—she gave Sasha a grin—“you seem completely at ease and I haven’t seen you look like that in ages.”
“Probably the back rub Cole just gave me.”
“He took you to the guesthouse to give you a massage?”
“No, we also talked.”
Julie wrinkled her eyebrows and curled up so her legs were tucked under her. “Daniel also said Cole was moving to Wilmington.”
Sasha picked a loose thread on the couch cushion she held in her lap. “He told me.”
“How do you feel about that?”
Sasha shrugged. “Does it matter? This is only a retraining. I don’t have any hold on him, and we’re not in a relationship.”
“But he was the first Dom you showed interest in after Peter, and he is retraining you.”
“No sex, though.”
“You’re blushing.” Julie smiled. “Something’s up.”
Sasha glanced around the living room. “Where’s Daniel?”
“Are you asking because you want to know or are you changing the subject?”
“A little of both.”
“He went to check on something, but he said he’d be back in a few. He wants to talk to you.”
“Do you know why?”
“Hey, Sasha.”
Sasha looked up as Daniel walked into the room and sat in a chair next to her. He had a concerned expression, but after what Julie had said about trusting Cole, she didn’t think he would question her about how she’d spent her time in the guesthouse.
“I didn’t know Peter had called you,” Daniel said.
“What?” Julie’s eyes widened. “You didn’t tell me.”
“Just a minute, Julie.” He held up his hand and turned to Sasha. “Sasha, I wish you would have told me.”
