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My heart is racing and I want to scream. I want to hug him and hit him at the same time. Carter doesn’t reply. Instead, he picks up his things and packs them away.
Before he walks out the door, he pulls it open and stops. Over his shoulder, he says, “Goodbye Kerry.” He leaves me there like I said nothing. Like I mean nothing. His walls are up and there’s no way he’ll let me in again.
Chapter 11
I call his name, but he doesn’t stop. I keep yelling for him to come back until the door slams shut.
“Are you all right?” Nathan sits at the foot of the couch. He watched the whole exchange between Carter and me in silence and who knows what the hell he and Emily talked about in the hall. I’ve never felt so alone in my life.
I stare blankly ahead. “I’ve just lost two of the three friends I’ve made since I got here—over this. I thought they’d support me. I didn’t expect them to act this way.” We’re quiet for a moment and I add, “I shouldn’t have said that to him.”
“No, but it was a mistake. Kerry, everyone makes mistakes, things that they wish they could take back and do over. The difference isn’t in the mistake, it’s in what you do afterward.” His eyes are on my face, boring into my cheek. I feel so lost, so alone. When I turn to look at Nathan, he’s closer than I thought.
His lips are right there, so close that I can feel his warm breath on mine. His hand is behind me, close enough to touch. Watching his fingers, I’m careful not to look in his eyes, because I couldn’t take it if he says no.
All night he’s been trying not to look my way, avoiding my gaze. The one time our eyes met had this fantastic pull. It’s as if I am his puppet, ready to bend to his will, to do anything he wants. I want him to tell me what he wants, to tell me he wants me. That’s what I was thinking in those moments. Whatever attraction is between us is strong. I’m drawn to it like a stupid bug to a flame. Watching those blue eyes dance with heat, listening to his sultry voice, and hearing him say my name during class was like an aphrodisiac. Being naked up here didn’t feel like that with the rest of them—just him—only Nathan.
My bottom lip is in my mouth as I try to think of what to say, of how to tell him that I can’t be in a relationship right now. I can’t handle it, not on top of everything else. At the same time, I want to be his and I want him to pull my strings and move me any way he wants.
Glancing up at him from under my lashes I open my mouth to speak, but I’m met with his lips instead. His hands cup my face as he pulls me closer, pressing into me at the same time. He breathes my name like it’s life, and presses me back into the couch, kissing me harder, learning the curves of my mouth and the way I taste. The kiss is reckless and passionate. It lights me on fire from within and I can’t pretend I don’t want him. Once he touches me, all my thoughts incinerate leaving the lust, swirling and aching within me.
I can’t stop.
I have to kiss him harder, hold him tighter. I work my hands under his shirt and rake my nails across his back. Nathan lets out a low growl and kisses me harder, pressing me into the fabric as he does so. I need more. The swirling within me, the butterflies have turned ruthless, and they won’t stop. At the same time the pulsing between my legs has started making my breasts ache for his touch, but he doesn’t move his hands. They remain on either side of my head pinning me in place.
The drape is still across my lower half, and tangling around me. Nathan glances up at the door, ripping his lips from mine. He?
??s breathing hard and covered in sweat that smells delicious. I want to slide my tongue along his face, across his temple and down his cheek, devouring every last drop.
What’s wrong with me? I never do things like this, I never felt like this before. I’m pancakes—warm and yummy. I’m not sexy like Natasha. But right now, I’m a bubble being blown higher and higher, getting bigger and bigger. Every inch of me is so sensitive that I can’t hide my moans when Nathan touches me. I can’t stand his distance and pull him back down, crushing him to me.
I kiss him hard and ask in a breathy voice, “Is everyone gone?”
His lips have traveled to my neck. I can barely form words anymore. I’m all animal and Kerry is gone. My body presses against his, slipping beneath him, clawing at any bit of flesh I can find.
Nathan groans when I dig my nails into his side. He looks me in the eye, lips parted, eyes darkened with desire, he nods. When I press my nails deeper into his skin, and pull, he gasps and presses his hips to mine. I whimper finally feeling his jean-clad, hard length press against my leg.
He’s shaking, and his words are barely audible. “Yes, they’re gone. The cleaning crew won’t be here for a while, but I can’t do this here. We need to…Oh, God.”
No one’s here. I’m gone. That’s all it takes. My mouth is on his neck, sucking, sliding my tongue over his skin and kissing him hard while I dig my nails into him.
He moans my name, trying to stop me, but it just makes me want him more. “Kerry, we have to stop. We’ll lose our jobs for something like this.”
Breathing heavily I manage to stop kissing him. Our bodies are covered in sweat and twisted together on the little chaise. His bulge is right above my core and my heels are being held down with his leg. He begins to release me, but as soon as he does it, I groan. I don’t mean to, and no longer feel like me—I’m this sexy woman who’s seducing this guy. If I even thought about it, I’d die. And that’s just it, I can’t think around him. I’m reduced to a lusty mess of a person, willing to do anything to sate this need. My skin is on fire and even though his words reach me, I can’t pull away. I catch his wrist and he stops. Nate’s frozen in place.
My voice is a warm whisper, “Please. Make me forget everything, just for a little while.” Licking my lips, I look up at him, expecting him to say no. “One more kiss?”
Conflict brews in those deep blue eyes. His dark hair is damp and hanging over his forehead. A drop of sweat falls on my face. I close my eyes reveling in the feeling and twist my head, then my neck, forcing the drop between my breasts as it rolls. I’m thinking about him hammering into me hard and that tiny bead of sweat.
I wish it was something else…I wish he’d fuck me so hard that he couldn’t stand it anymore and pull out at the last second and let that warm, deliciousness spread across my breasts. I want him to touch them, fuck them, and rub himself all over them. I can’t think anymore and every worry vanishes. I’m lost in my fantasy when I hear him breathe my name.
“Kerry, holy hell. I can’t, don’t do this to me—not here—we have to stop. I want those things. I want to do them with you. Please,” he pulls back and holds out his hand, “come back with me.”
I shake my head. “I can’t stop.” The words run together and I sound drunk and I feel drunk, but it’s happy and warm, and I can’t think. For once, not being in control of everything isn’t bothering me. I want it to stay like this and if we move, well, my senses will come back and I’ll dart. I’ve already said too much, words that will stain my face red next time we meet.
But in this moment, there is only right now and that’s all that matters. I’m an orb of sensations and nothing else is going on in my mind. For once I’m not worrying or upset. For once I have a guy that’s into me and likes me. He wants what I want. I can feel it. “Kiss me.”
Nathan closes his eyes, pained, and presses his hips to mine. I gasp and make a light airy sound that seems to undo him. He pauses there, lingering. It’s as if he knows this action will damn him, but he can’t pull away either. Nathan remains a breath from me, suspended in space. Those luscious lips are parted and slick. I can’t stop watching them, hoping they’ll come closer so I can taste him again.
