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“But won’t he get tossed too? I mean, if you can’t fight, he can’t either, right?” I look up at him, wondering how much it had to sting, wondering how he could possibly trust anyone again.
Carter offers a lopsided smile. “The Gallub family is the single largest contributor to the university’s endowment fund. What do you think?”
I think it’s not fair, but I can’t say that. The hurt in his voice requires a less juvenile answer, and I don’t have one.
We stand there in the quiet for a moment, both of us looking down. Gently, he reaches over and takes my hand. “It’s been hard, and lonely. I’m not bullshitting you when I say I know how it feels. Being betrayed by your mom is a twist unique to your story, but the cheating part? The way that feels is etched into my skull in vivid detail.”
When I glance up and find his dark eyes staring into mine. “Have you gone out with anyone since Evie?”
Shaking his head, he tells me, “No.”
“Oh.” Suddenly, I feel small and my stomach flips with uncertainty as Carter inches closer to me, his eyes locked on mine.
When he speaks again, I can feel his warm breath on my lips. “I didn’t think I could take it, offering my heart to another person and having things go badly. I haven’t really talked about what happened that night with anyone, not all of it, anyway. But I feel like I can talk to you—like you might understand.”
He’s so close, but I can’t back away, and I can’t move toward him. If I say no, or make him think I don’t care, I’ll break his heart. I know because that’s how I feel. I don’t want to trust anyone else or put my heart out there again. Add on the crap-load of stuff my Mom just told me and I want to ice out everyone. The thing is, I can’t hurt Carter, and it’s clear he’s still hurting.
Lowering my eyes, I whisper, “I’m not ready yet.”
Carter nods and I feel his cheek brush against mine before he backs away. “I’m glad you told me.”
“I’m not putting you off.” Wow, I’m a liar, because that’s not it.
Why not kiss him?
Why not Carter?
Is it because I’m not over Matt? Is that really the reason?
Not exactly. I feel a connection with Carter, but it’s not what I’m looking for. Maybe I’m secretly hoping for another encounter with Mystery Man and his magical disappearing thingy? When did I become so shallow?
Carter doesn’t let me decide. Instead, he leans in and briefly presses his lips to mine. “I believe you.” He pulls away and smiles. “No worries, Kerry. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”
I nod slowly, not knowing what to say. I have no idea how I feel. The only thing I know for sure is that I can’t break Carter’s heart—he won’t survive.
When he pulls open the door for me, I start to walk inside. My gaze is on the floor. I don’t glance up until a scream hits my ear as something white and feath
ery butts into my face. I screech and fall backward. Carter catches me as a fat goose tries to peck my nose off. Beth is standing in the doorway, horrified.
“I tried to sneak it in, but they caught me, and when I tried to let it go—it freaked out.” Her little face is all scrunched up, mortified. “Kerry, I’m so sorry!”
Seeing that I’m ok, Carter begins laughing hysterically. “You sure have a way with animals.”
“I think they’d rather have their way with me.” I glare at the goose from a distance, as it rushes another student in the parking lot. The girl screams and runs the other way while her friends cackle.
Chapter 5
Beth slurps a noodle and it wriggles between her lips like a worm. I make a face and she laughs. Pointing her spoon at me she says, “A girl’s gotta practice.”
“Beth!” She’s figured out that I’m a blushaholic. Mention sex and I turn red. It doesn’t matter where or when, it’s a surefire way to make the conversation more interesting.
“What? I’m lonely and my brothers keep chasing off every guy I like.” She pouts and puts her spoon down before leaning her cheek on her hand.
“Your brothers are good at that.”
“Yeah, so since I can’t have a sex life, I need to hear about yours.” She slumps forward, pleading for sex stories I don’t have.
I laugh and nearly snort a wonton. “There isn’t anyone.”
