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I don’t recognize any of them. There are seven total and suddenly way more liquor than they could possibly use. One girl with long brown hair sets a bottle of vodka on the counter and points to the now half gone tray of cookies. She’s the only one who asks, “May I please have one?”
I step across the small space and hand her the tray. “Take the whole thing out there. Another batch is about to come out of the oven.”
“Are these Beth Cookies?”
I smirk and know what she’s getting at. Beth’s cookies are orgasmic. Apparently she has a reputation. “Yeah, eat with caution.”
“Don’t I always?” She makes a funny face and takes a bite, moaning as she chews. It’s a little disturbing.
I look away from her and at the liquor. All the labels are the same. “Was that a coincidence or did you plan to bring the same bottle?”
She nods. “It makes it fair. No one shows up empty-handed, and we all paid the same amount for it. Plus, we eliminate the risk of some fool showing up with a bottle of Manischewitz. You gotta spend more than a $1.88 to get into a swank study group like this.” She’s surprisingly serious.
“Yeah, study group.” I tip my head toward the liquor. “The topic of study appears to be ways to drink potatoes.”
She snorts a laugh and slaps her hands over her mouth. “You’re funny. But, no, seriously. It works well unless you don’t know your stuff. Then you’re screwed. Think of it like any normal drinking game where every time you miss a question you take a shot. No one wants to be shitfaced before the third round. That’s just embarrassing.” She reaches for another cookie and skips into the other room.
They grab two of the bottles and get started in the next room. I put in another sheet of cookies and set the timer. Eventually, Beth emerges with puffy eyes. I feel like a jerk for letting the conversation go that way. Maybe I didn’t have a choice, but I could have said something.
The guys in the next room get loud every time someone has to take a drink. For a while it’s quiet, then they hit a patch where they go through an entire bottle pretty quick. Justin rushes in and grabs another bottle. He points at Beth, “Don’t touch any of these. Got it?”
“Yeah, yeah.” She waves her hand dismissively, and he rushes back to his guests.
Beth seems so sad, so caught up in her own hell that I decide to share some of mine.
“So, the hot guy with the sketch pad…”
She’s balling up dough on a cookie sheet and looks up at me. “Yeah, what about him?”
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“I might have seen him a few times since then.” I smile awkwardly, as she gasps with a huge grin on her face. “I might also have an insane crush on him.”
“Where did you meet again? Seriously, I can’t believe you even talked to him after he walked out on you like that. So, what happened?” She pulls open the oven door, pushes the cookie tray inside, and closes the door before setting a timer and sitting down at the little old table.
I’m across from her, balling more dough onto another sheet. “We made out a couple of times, and, when things got to the point where we couldn’t exactly continue in public, everything went to hell.”
“What? Why?”
“He works at the university.”
“So? That shouldn’t be a problem unless he’s a professor or something.” She’s smiling like that couldn’t happen, but, when I don’t answer, her jaw drops, and she gapes at me. “You nailed a professor?”
“No! And keep your voice down. The last thing I need is more rumors floating around. Don’t tell anyone, but we didn’t know. He’s my drawing teacher. He was gone the first week of class. By the time I figured out what was going on, we were already—well, we were supposed to go to his place that night.”
“But you didn’t, right?” Beth leans forward, and her eyes bug out of her head. “Holy shit! Kerry! You did him anyway?”
I grimace at the way she says it. That’s what it was supposed to be, but that’s not what happened. “No, we didn’t do anything. It was weird. As soon as he realized I was a student, he blew me off. So I went to his house. In the bus. With the raccoon.”
Beth looks like she’s going to have a heart attack. She’s clutching her chest and leaning halfway across the table. “And?”
“And he sent me home. Rebound gone wrong in every possible way. Add in the shit with Carter and I’ve had the worst day known to man.”
“Oh! My! God!”
“Wait, there’s more,” I say in an infomercial voice with a plastic smile on my face. “My mother is coming to visit this weekend, and she’s bringing her new boyfriend. To sleep in the bed across from me.” I nod too much and blink swiftly, inhaling while I do so.
Beth just stares at me with both hands pressed firmly to the table and her jaw dangling open. After a moment, she snaps it shut and jumps up. She grabs a bottle of liquor from a counter and two tall glasses. She pours clear liquid into both and raises her glass of vodka. “To having a fucked up, overprotective family, and being unintentionally celibate.”
