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“Yes.” I put my bag down and lean on the sink next to her. I stare at the empty stalls as I speak. “I’m supposed to model again tonight. I don’t mind doing it, but Carter and Emily are still mad at me for agreeing to model. And then there's the thing with Nate. I’m thinking I shouldn’t do it. Right?”
Beth is a good listener. She rarely assumes anything and thinks before she talks. “Is it just awkward? Or is there more to it?”
I stare at the pink tiled floor and try to figure out what’s bothering me most. “I’d rather shove pins in my eyes, but I gave my word. They all expected me to flake, and the pose isn’t that revealing. I guess the worst part is the best part—time alone with Nate. It’s almost worth the agony just to see him for a little bit.”
“He didn’t talk to you in class the other day?”
“Not more than anyone else. He was in teacher mode.”
“So, what? You’re going to seduce him?” She makes a face. “Kerry, there are a lot of other guys to go after. Guys that won’t get you expelled, or him fired.”
I grip the sides of a sink, lift myself up, and slide back on it. “I know, but there’s something about him. I don’t know how to describe it. Things weren’t like that with Matt, or J—” I suddenly realize what I was about to say. Shit. Neither of us told her anything about that night. I was too mortified to relive it, and Josh seemed to think Beth would kill me. So we remained silent.
She’s cutting holes into the side of my face with those pale blue eyes. “Kerry Hill, you better tell me which brother did something to you so I can castrate him right now. My friends are off limits! Damn it! They know that, and one of them hooked up with you, anyway. What the fuck?”
“It wasn’t like that. The night when we were at the STIC, Josh took care of me. I was drunk enough to kiss him but lucid enough to realize things with Nathan feel different. Nothing happened between us. He made sure nothing happened to me.”
She folds her arms across her chest and stares down at them. Anger lines her delicate features, making her face tighten and her jaw lock.
“I’m sorry, Beth.”
She shakes her head. “It wasn’t your fault. It’s him. Josh. He’s been trying to get into your pants from the moment he met you.” She suddenly darts from the bathroom, and I wish I couldn’t hear it, but I can. Beth starts screaming at her brother to leave me alone and stay away. I know there are tears on her face because I can hear the warble in her voice. It echoes down the hall.
A professor tells them to take it outside, and the shouting dies down. A barrage of emotion collides into me. I understand her frustration with her brothers, but at the same time, I wish I had just one person who cared that much about me. Actually, someone caring about me even a fraction of the amount Josh cares about Beth would be nice.
I’m used to fending for myself. No one has my back. Not even my mother.
My life is a mess, and wearing sweats every day is the least of my problems.
Chapter 14
I walk out of the building and head toward the cafeteria. I’m starving, and it’s better than nothing. As I pass by the art building, I feel someone looking at me. I turn and see Carter standing in front of a giant sculpture of a raven’s claw. It’s nearly ten feet tall and adorns the entryway to the building. He’s leaning against it, but as soon as he sees me, he turns and walks away.
I have no idea how to patch things up with him. I still can’t believe what Emily said, that Carter likes me. He was just being nice. Josh's voice echoes in my mind, ‘There’s no such thing as a nice guy.’
Ironically, Josh seems to be a nice guy, despite the idiotic things pouring out of his mouth. If I needed help, he’d be there and ask nothing in return. I wonder if there’s more to the story of Josh and Carter than the parts I know. Cheating doesn’t seem to be Josh's thing. He’s too proud to sneak around.
As I watch Carter walk away, I realize I miss him. It sounds corny, but some people are just easy to get along with. People who make you feel good about yourself and have an easy way about them. Carter is one of those people.
I tuck my chin and walk faster, hoping to avoid the lost puppy thing I’ve got going on, when I slam into someone. I nearly fall over, and my bag slides off my shoulder. A set of strong hands steady me.
Nate asks, “Are you all right?” He glances around to see what I was running from.
Damn, it’s that obvious. “Yeah.” I muster up some false confidence and beam at him. I can do this. I can talk to a super-hot teacher-man and not make an ass of myself. “I’m just in a hurry, that’s all. Sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
Nate’s eyes lock on mine and tingles rush over my skin. I wish I could reach out and touch him. I can’t fathom what he thinks of me. I’m a train wreck. When Nate seems satisfied that I’m okay, he leans over to pick up my bag. At the same time as he bends down, something cold smacks me in the face and sticks to my skin. Mortified, I touch and feel cold slime under my fingers.
Nate stands and looks at me and then in the opposite direction.
Chelsey calls out, “Hey, Bacon! Quit flirting and get to class, you greasy girl!” She’s standing with her pack of bitches and holds up an empty bacon wrapper. Laughing, she takes a picture as the piece of cold meat slips off my cheek.
Nate is about to walk toward them, no doubt ready to write them up for assaulting another student. But I don’t want to be the girl who was attacked with bacon. That’s just embarrassing. I touch his arm and shake my head. “Don’t. It’s fine.”
His jaw tightens as he stares at her and then looks back at me. “No, it’s not fine. She hit you.”
“Right. With bacon. It was a joke.”
“It left a mark.” He touches my slimy cheek with the tip of his finger, but I jerk away.
