The truth was, it wasn’t a matter of forgiving him. They both had insecurities that got in the way. So she could never fully blame Rafael. It wasn’t only up to him to talk about their circumstances. She could have handled things differently, too. Maybe not throw down the gauntlet with an ultimatum?She could have founda more mature way to express what she wanted. Truly, they could have both done better. She forgave him with all her heart.
But could shetrusthim?Could she trust herself?
“What if I don’t know where that is? Home, I mean. In the last few days, I realized I want to be with you but I can’t lose sight of what I want for myself. So if you feel thathomeis where I am, well, I can honestly say I have no idea where that is or where it’s going to be.”
“Not back in DC?” he asked soothingly.
“No, at least not in the same way. I don’t know how to explain myself.”
“I’m listening. The way I should have before.”
That bolstered her courage. “I never felt more sure of myself than when I was unsure. Isn’t that remarkable and strange? It isn’t only about visiting exciting places. I loved meeting new people, learning from them, opening myself to adventures. I’m done living a stunted life without joy and wonder. If I sell my condo and lie low with one of my sisters, I don’t have to decide right away. I just know I want a life that I chose, instead of one chosen for me.”
“Perhaps a life in which you make the perfect scone?”
She laughed at the reference to her intense passion for baked goods. “Maybe.”
“In the meantime, while you decide where your heart takes you and what the future brings, will you let me cook for you?”
She smiled at his coy question because she heard the longing behind it.Will you let me cook for you, coming from the lips of a passionate chef, meant nourishment and care and companionship and love. But at what sacrifice for him?
“Rafael, you have a business and students and employees. A home you love. You can’t promise that you’ll be where I end up.”
“Even if you aren’t sure where you’ll end up, that will never stop me from wanting to cherish you and love you.” Rafael reached over and ran a calloused finger over her wet cheek. She didn’t even realize her emotions overwhelmed her to tears. Tori leaned into his hand and brushed her lips against his palm. “There’s one thing I know for sure: that home and Victoria Espinoza mean the same thing to me. Good thing, too, because you’re also the one I love the most.”
She hugged him with all her might, his loving words exhilarating her spirit and heating her blood. “I love you too, Rafael. There’s no denying it. That’s why I wanted to get off the plane. To find you and tell you, at least one more time, that I love you so much.”
He kissed her gently, firm hands tilting her head so his mouth could swallow her moans of bliss. Someone walking down the aisle jostled her armrest, jarring them into the moment. Rafael kept her close, rolling his forehead over hers while he spoke.
“I’m not perfect, Tori. I’m grumpy and scared, really scared, of where my illness will take me. But knowing there’s a life I can share with you makes me stronger. We don’t have to decide anything today. It’s enough for me to know there’s a future where you’ll let me take care of you. So even if we’re not together all the time, my home is yours. And everything I create from now on is with you and for you, no matter where we land.”
The pilot’s announcement filled the cabin with information about cruising altitude and time difference and weather predictions. A familiar anxiety gripped Tori’s lungs and she straightened out to face forward. She didn’t have to explain what she needed. Immediately, Rafael cradled her hand and offered small, caressing circles on her palm, between her fingers. She focused on the motion in order to lessen the angst of unsteady weightlessness during takeoff.
When the worst of her anxiety abated and they were floating over smooth skies, she opened her eyes to seek out the man she loved. He had been staring at her with furrowed worry but once their gazes met, he exhaled in one long swoosh.
“You are so beautiful, even when you worry me, do you know that,mon ange?”
“That’s how I feel when I comfort you. Watching you power through your challenges is beautiful, Rafael. Even when I worry, it is filled with admiration. Knowing we can comfort each other makes me happy.”
He kissed the corner of her mouth and moved along her jaw, ending with a light graze of his teeth on her neck.
“Yes,” she said.
He chuckled. “Yes to what, my love?”
“Yes to all of it. To this moment. To your kisses and your comfort. To making the perfect scone. To us, cooking for each other. Most of all,yesto creating together and for each other, wherever we land.”
Two Years Later
Tori banged her luggage against her shin in the rush to get off the train. Transportation from Zurich to Paris and then another hour to Le Vésinet did not bode well for her composure or her patience. Restlessness from hours of sitting made her clumsy.
She was returning from what had been an eventful and, frankly, very tiring week in Switzerland. On top of picking nuts, planting vegetables, foraging for mushrooms, preserving fruit, baking, and cleaning like any other member of the farm, Tori also took the pictures and videos needed to finish her social media proposal.Ferme familiale, an organic nut and fruit farm two hours from Zurich, was part of a global movement that involved tourism, food cultivation, and organic farming.
Hired as an independent social media consultant to help rebuild their website and drum up investors and volunteers, Tori’s corporate skills were highly transferable. The former marketing director found ways to direct her experience to help smaller and more diverse businesses. From sales pamphlets to TikTok videos, from PowerPoint presentations to cutting-edge blogs, Tori shored up the resources needed to create a memorable social media presence.
Having grabbed an earlier train from Zurich to Paris, her arrival was hours before Rafael expected. God, she missed him. He would have met her at the station but she had a mischievous desire to see his face when she surprised him.
She heard the bustle even before she saw the house. Laughter and music rose up to meet her as she approached their home with silhouettes of moving figures beyond the open front door. Her heart raced at the sense of excitement but she kept her tread light, thinking she might get a peek of—
