‘My father and mother had a loveless marriage. I grew up witnessing their incessant arguments and this is my only point of reference with regard to marital relationships. My father attempted to placate my mother but she was caustic and resentful. The toxicity of their union has poisoned my perspective on marriage.’
Hannah took a cautious step toward him. Caleb continued.
‘When your father and I agreed upon this marriage, it was a solely a business arrangement to me and when I told you so, this was to protect us both from falling into the same noxious pattern. I did not want us to have any sort of bond or relationship – in my mind, if we were able to retain a partnership that upheld independent activities and saw us coming together simply for the required union as Duke and Duchess, neither of us could be influenced enough by the other to result in being hurt. I did not want to get close to you, out of self-protection. I see that now.’
Hannah saw now that vulnerable, gentle, man behind the stoic façade of the Duke. His eyes implored her to believe him and the authenticity of his confessions caused her to forgive him without him even having to request her clemency.
‘I am usually so in control of my life – of what I allow in and who can influence me. But you, Hannah – I did not give you permission and you broke through the barriers anyway. I never intended to fall in love with you.’
Caleb stopped short; the unspoken insinuation hanging in the air between them. Hannah closed the gap by stepping closer to him, her lips parted in astonishment at his admission.
‘I have not been honest with you either, Caleb,’ Hannah admitted, her voice gravelly from crying overnight. ‘I pursued my dream of exhibiting my art publicly, even knowing the risks involved. When you showed your support in coming along to share in my passion, I should have told you then. If I had, you would not have been wrong-footed and humiliated. I was just so worried that speaking out about my plan would prevent me from being able to showcase my work. I have always been told that artwork is for the common creative and that society expects me to be a lady; to dance, to play a musical instrument; to read and sew and be charming at dinner…’ Hannah paused to roll her eyes. The expression made Caleb want to laugh but it felt inappropriate to do so. All the same, Hannah saw the hint of a twitch at his lips and it bolstered her onwards.
‘The truth is Caleb, that creating art is notchoicefor me. It is not a mere hobby. It iswho I am. Without drawing and painting, I am but a shell of myself. You would not want that wife – she would be uninspired, dull and frankly, a bore. I regret that I have brought shame upon the Montwood family. Truly, I feel absolutely horrid about it. However, I cannot regret my boldness in posing as Alexander Burton to showcase my work. If hiding behind the name of a man is the only way I can present my art to the world, so be it. I only wish I had not disgraced you in the process.’
Hannah dropped her eyes to the floor. Looking at the space between them, she saw Caleb’s feet take two assertive steps toward her and then felt his warm hand gently graze at her chin, lifting her head gently to meet his eyes.
Caleb read her face and was overcome with emotion to see her eyes so apologetic yet determined, her body trembling slightly, and her expression poised to hear how he received her declaration.
Hannah looked up into Caleb’s face; his dark brow furrowed as if he were striving to understand her. She realised now that his brooding was not a look of contempt or malcontent, but that sometimes he was just thinking things through and figuring them out. His eyes had softened and he looked, possibly for the first time, completely unsure of himself. She wondered if he were angry and sad; that he had possibly lifted her head to tell her, with remorse, that they could not continue their marriage. Her heart beat frantically in her chest waiting for him to speak.
‘I love you, Hannah. I am in love with you.’
Hannah’s breath escaped her in a gush, such was her relief at hearing his sentiment that saved her.
Caleb was so afraid; he had never before laid himself so bare and vulnerable. He feared Hannah would not accept him after he had acted so brutishly. But then she smiled and her whole face lit up. A flood of relief rushed through his system, elevating his heart.
Hannah reached to take his hands. Her hands were cold and small in his that were so broad, warm, and welcoming.
‘Caleb,’ she said quietly, ‘I am in love with you, too.’
The grin that took over his face was a new expression Hannah had never seen before – perhaps because this was the happiest he had ever felt. She saw all his perfectly aligned teeth and realised he usually only smiled thinly, with his mouth closed. Here was Caleb, uninhibited.
They beamed at one another as the moments passed, but then as Hannah remembered all the obstacles still laid ahead of them, her smile faded and her eyes betrayed her concern.
Caleb understood. He tightened his grip on her hands and promised her.
‘You will paint. You will draw. I want to see every piece you create and I will celebrate it with you. We will stand in solidarity against the public scandal. Together, we will be strong and our unified dynamic will fortify our dignity.’
Hannah’s eyes sparkled listening to his words that soothed her like a balm. These were the exact affirmations she needed to hear and here they were, being promised to her by the man she had married – the man she loved.
Caleb leaned forward slowly and pressed his warm lips to hers and they embraced for the first time without restraint, fearless and trusting. Hannah felt as though her life could not possibly improve upon that moment.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Delighted and emboldened by Caleb’s wonderful news several days previous, that he and Hannah were, indeed, in love, Albert had done some serious thinking about his own future.
He stood within the grand office of the Camden town-house. Lord Camden sat in a large leather armchair, behind his intimidating desk, with the light from the window behind him so that he was cast in an impending shadow.
Albert had only taken a few steps into the office, respectfully but now felt he should have been more resolute and advanced further into the room as there was too much space between them. Stepping forward now, he considered, would appear as a weak man shuffling in afterthought and he needed to be impressive and intrepid, now more than ever before.
‘Lord Camden, I appreciate your making time to meet with me today,’ Albert projected his voice across the void.
Lord Camden only nodded once and interlaced his fingers under his chin, awaiting Albert’s continuation.
‘I have a question for you, My Lord.’
Albert paused. This distance would never do. He boldly took four decisive steps into the room and Lord Camden straightened up, now more stimulated and assigning his attention more intently to his visitor.
