“Elena,” he said into my hair. “It has been much too long.”
I buried my nose into the coarse material of his overcoat and inhaled the familiar scent of spices and tobacco from his favored pipes. Emotion long buried clawed at my throat, stung my eyes. I was grateful my hands were full because I would have been tempted to throw them around his shoulders and such a show of emotion would have embarrassed us both, even though we were alone. A display of that sort would have been frowned upon in public. Blatant displays of affection were characterized as masculine. Calm, cool reasoning was favored in Acasian society, even out here in the rural area where the temple was located.
“What are you doing here?” I asked when he released me, and I was certain I had my response tightly lidded. “Has something happened?”
The once familiar gaze studied me without revealing anything. As a result of constant scrutiny, Gideon had always been much more adept at controlling himself than I had been. Reserved. Composed. It made him favored among the court in the capital. “It would be best if we could speak inside,” he said.
Not for the first time, I wish I had a modicum of his self-control. He should have been king, though it was unheard of for the crown to be passed to a male descendant. If he had, he wouldn’t have embarrassed our people as I had. “I need to take these to the surgery and then I can meet you in my rooms.”
“As you wish,” he said, and then bowed as I hurried away.
“I’ll just be a moment,” I assured him. I wanted to reach out, touch his arm to make sure he was real again, but for once, I controlled my impulses.
Nerves warred in my stomach as I hurried to the surgery, but I didn’t let them show in my expression. I’d managed the last three years without betraying my feelings to the curious faces around me and I wasn’t going to allow it now. Gideon wasn’t the only one who’d changed. I shouldered through the door and was met with the startled gaze of a novice attending to one of my regular patients.
“Leisha,” I said with a nod.
“Milady,” she replied.
“Would you mind taking over the surgery for a short time? I have some business to attend to.”
Leisha has been with me since the first night I arrived at the temple, battered, beaten down, and a shadow of the person I’d once been. She stood by my side in the surgery during the most difficult procedures. I could confide in her and for a moment, I considered it, but I decided to see what Gideon had to say first.
If she was shocked, she didn’t let it show. “Of course, my lady.”
“Thank you.” She went back to attending the patient, and I put away the herbs and tidied them. When I couldn’t put it off any longer, I added, “Send for me if you get too busy.”
“Yes, my lady,” she answered.
I found Gideon waiting inside my sparse living quarters. I’d long since gotten used to the lack of ornamentation, but based on his reaction, he was still quiteused to the lavishness of the castle in the capital city of Aurelia. My quarters were identical to any of the other novices at the temple: a simple bedroom with an attached washroom and a small fireplace to keep warm. I kept so busy, the only reason I was even in my room was to sleep and dress, otherwise I was at the surgery or working in the garden.
“You said you have news?” I asked without preamble.
“I do, though itwill not be news you’ll like.” His deep frown emphasized the extra lines in his face, and it reminded meof the elderly farmer I’d stitched together not hours ago. The farmer had been worn tough from many years under the sun, from hard labor and fighting for survival. Maybe it wasn’t so different for my brother, who’d had to weather court politics and societal pressures in my absence.
I forced out a breath and scooped back my unruly dark curls that had escaped from their plait. “Well, out with it then,” I said.
“You know as well as I, the time to return to Aurelia grows closer.”
If I’d been less trained, if I hadn’t spent years of my own facing those same courts, my knees would have buckled. “I’m well aware, however I thought circumstances being what they are, our cousin, the queen-regent would take my place.” I said without a betraying tremor.
“It appears the deal our father made with The Dragon still holds. He wants you.”
I turned away and used the pretense of preparing tea as an excuse to hide how much his news affected me. “Oh?”
“Seleste made it clear about your—difficulties. She even offered him a place as king by her side, but he refused. Told her he has more money than the Goddess herself, why would he want to be king?”
“I bet she took that well,” I said. “I thought she was marrying a lord from the Ursine clan. Lord Blaque hasn’t found a mate? I would have thought he’d find someone to mate.” My voice sounded breathless, hopeful, even to my ears. Foolish girl. My desperate plea since they had sent me to the temple was the hope—the wish—that my failures had also been my saving grace. That the dragon I’d been promised to as an infant had learned of my failures and decided not to have me as a mateafter all.
My brother, who’d been so easy to smile when we were young, remained stone-faced. “No one else would have him.”
“Lucky me,” I said.
“This is your chance, Elena,” Gideon said, after a long silence.
My hands began tosweat, and I wiped them on my serviceable apron. For a moment, I yearned for the finery that came with being a future queen. It was easy to hide behind the dresses and accoutrements, the glittering jewelry and elaborate coifs. “What do you mean?”
If possible, Gideon’s face hardened even more. “Your chance to undo the disgrace of losing the throne. It’s not as though you have a choice.”
