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“So what?” Preston says. “We can take down that skinnyass whiner if we have to.”
Rebecca sighs. “What Preston means is, you can’t avoid Justin forever. Our school just isn’t that big. So the sooner you get the first time over with, the better. And we’ll be with you the whole time.”
“Plus,” Preston adds, “you’ll go crazy if you stay home all weekend.”
True. All of this is true.
Also, I miss them.
“Fine,” I say. “But you’re talking to me the whole time. You are not going to expect me to watch high school football for two hours.”
“You’ve got yourself a deal,” Rebecca says, and Preston cheers.
—
I become hyper-preoccupied with what to wear. Which was never an issue when I was going to see A—I guess I figured if he was going to show up in whatever body, I could show up wearing whatever. Or maybe I didn’t feel like I was auditioning for him all the time, like I did with Justin.
Rebecca, Preston, and Ben pick me up and we head to the high school. It feels like the whole town is here—even though our football team sucks, homecoming is a sort-of big deal. Stephanie and Steve are with Justin and a few more friends, and Stephanie has promised to text updates about their location. I tell Rebecca that’s not necessary—I don’t need to be treated like there are restraining orders involved. I’m not worried Justin will attack me. I’m just worried about how sad it will feel to see him.
Luckily, the stands are packed, and Justin’s group is nowhere near us. As promised, we talk through the game—mostly Preston giving running commentary on the fashion choices of various people in the bleachers, with even Ben throwing in a remark every now and then. At one point, Preston says he’s going on a pretzel run and Rebecca volunteers to join him, leaving me and Ben alone together for the first time in a while.
At first, I think we’re just going to watch the game until Preston and Rebecca get back. But then Ben says, “I’m glad you did it.” He’s not even looking at me—he’s watching the field as he says it. But I know he’s talking to me.
“Thanks,” I say.
Now he looks at me. “No thanks necessary. It’s just nice to see you out from his shadow. Because things don’t grow in shadows, you know? So it was frustrating to see you standing there…and really cool to see you step out of it. I don’t know who this new guy is, but make sure when you’re with him, you’re not standing in his shadow. Stand where everyone can see you.”
The crowd starts to cheer, and Ben turns back to the game in time to see one of our players heading to the end zone. “Come on!” he yells, along with the rest of the crowd. The guy is tackled a few yards short. “Oh man!” Ben sighs. “Can you believe it?”
“So close,” I say.
“Yeah,” Ben says with a nod. “So close.”
—
I should have known there’d be an after-party.
“It’ll be fun,” Rebecca promises, taking my arm and leading me to her car. “We won’t leave your side.”
The truth is, I don’t need much convincing. I’m having a good time. An uncomplicated, good time with my friends. For a long time, I couldn’t have had this—there would have always been the counterweight of Justin, the obligation of being in a couple instead of hanging with a couple of friends. This is part of freedom—not looking for anything, not missing anything, just happy with the friends who are here.
“Sure,” I tell Rebecca. “Let’s go.”
It’s not that late, and barely dark out. There’s an official after-party at some restaurant owned by
a former high school quarterback, but the less-than-football crowd is gathering at Will Tyler’s house, which is very conveniently located across the street from a water supply area that’s never patrolled for trespassing.
Will Tyler’s this guy from the grade above us who sold a fantasy novel to a big publisher when he was fourteen. He has a banner over his door that says FOOTBALL IS FOR WUSSES; QUIDDITCH IS FOR GODS. Preston whoops when he sees that.
If the geekiness of the sign isn’t enough to ward off Justin, I’m sure the complete lack of alcohol will be. Instead of beer and vodka, Will and his parents have stocked up on every single soda that’s ever been created—or at least it seems that way. The bottles are lined up in identical pairs in the kitchen, like this is some kind of carbonated Noah’s ark. Some people are grumbling or pulling out flasks to spike their Fanta. But I’m into it. It’s been too long since I’ve had a Cherry Coke.
A would love this. I have no doubt A would love this. I wish he were here—not for us to be together, but so he could sample any of the sodas he never got as he bounced around his childhood.
“Will Tyler’s no fool,” Preston says, cheersing me with a red cup of purple pop. “This is a party we’ll all remember.”
“Why, thank you,” a boy behind him says. His voice has a slightly Southern twang. “Glad you could be here, Preston.”
Preston turns to the boy and blurts, “You know my name?”
