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But he didn’t do any of these things, did he? He’s looking at me like he’s never seen me before. Because he’s never seen me before.
“I’m helping my sister out and selling Girl Scout cookies,” I say, nodding toward the bag on my shoulder. “Can I interest you in any?”
“Who is it?” a voice behind Nathan asks. His mother—it has to be his mother—shuffles into the frame, suspicious.
“Girl Scout cookies,” I say. “I have Thin Mints, Samoas, and Tagalongs.”
“Aren’t you old to be a Girl Scout?” Mrs. Daldry asks.
“It’s for her sister,” Nathan mumbles.
Don’t you know me? I want to ask.
But when he says no, what will I say next? How can I begin to explain?
Nathan’s mother softens a little. “Do you want a box?” she asks her son. “We haven’t had any since the Hayes girl moved away.”
“Maybe the peanut butter ones?” he says.
His mom nods, then tells me, “Let me get my wallet.”
I expect Nathan to ask me something—where I’m from, where my sister is, anything. But instead he looks embarrassed to be stuck with me. Not because he remembers the time we had together. But because I’m a girl in his house.
I start to hum “Carry On” to myself. I look one last time for recognition.
Nothing.
The difference is also there in his eyes. Not physically. But in the way he’s using them. In what they are saying to me. There’s no excitement. No longing. No connection.
His mom comes back and pays me. I hand over a box and that’s it—we’re done. She thanks me. I thank her.
Nathan goes back to his life. I imagine he’
s already forgotten I was there.
—
I get back in the car.
Pizza? Justin texts.
Annapolis? my mind asks.
I check my email before turning the ignition.
Nothing from A.
I am not going to run around a city looking for an Avril Lavigne T-shirt.
I tell Justin I’ll pick him up.
—
“What took you so long?” he asks as soon as I get there.
I realize I didn’t tell him how far away I was.
“Just running around for my mom,” I say. Running around with my mom, he won’t believe. Running around for my mom, he probably will.
