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“We’re there,” Justin says. Then, after he hangs up, he tells me where we’re going.
Annapolis, I can’t help thinking. But we’re going nowhere near Annapolis.
Say any city enough times, it starts to sound like a made-up place.
—
Rebecca is at the party. She searches me out.
“I think our boyfriends are getting pretty baked,” she tells me.
“Lucky us,” I say.
She looks at me in surprise and laughs. “Did you really just say that? Good for you!”
Don’t tell Justin, I want to say. But I know she won’t. She might tell Ben, but he won’t tell Justin, either.
Am I the only one who actually likes Justin?
“What’s been going on?” Rebecca asks me.
“I’m just tired,” I say.
“Yeah, but tired of what?”
She’s genuinely interested. She genuinely cares. She is my friend.
I don’t tell her a thing.
—
I duck out of the party before it’s too late to call Kelsea’s house.
This time someone answers.
“Hello?” His voice is rough. Tired.
“Hi, is Kelsea there?” I ask. I just want to hear her voice. I just want to know she’s okay.
“Who is this?”
I try to think of a name that isn’t mine. “It’s Mia. I’m a friend of hers?”
“Well, Kelsea isn’t here right now. And she won’t be using her phone for a few days. If you leave a message there, though, I’m sure she’ll get back to you. Just give it some time.”
I risk it and ask, “Is she okay? I’m just a little…concerned.”
“She’s somewhere getting help,” he says. “It’s going to be okay.” He pauses; this is new ground for him. “I know it’ll mean a lot to hear from her friends. It’s good of you to call.”
He’s not going to tell me more, and that’s fine. This is enough to know.
“Thank you,” I say. I want to tell him he did the right thing. But I don’t want to make too much of an impression.
I’m already the friend who isn’t really there.
—
I’m home late. I have to walk Justin to his door because he’s so out of it. I wonder if his mom is awake.
