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“Swear to God. ”
“It didn’t sound pleasant. ”
“It was pleasant. Never doubt it. ”
She’s shaking against my chest, my arms wrapped tight around her.
“We’ll do you in a minute. ” I sound like I’m under water. “Then we’ll see who’s laughing. ”
That sets her off again, and I watch her, smiling, because we’re ridiculous.
Ridiculous and happy.
Me and Caroline.
After I catch my breath, it starts to sink in that I’m a dickhead.
Like, literally. I just let the head of my dick call the shots. Genius.
I rub my hand up and down Caroline’s back. She’s tense, her muscles twitching and tight.
“How close were you?”
She breathes a little laugh. “Um, close?”
If I was her, I’d be annoyed. First she gives me an ultimatum and I ignore her for three weeks, then I wake her up, coax her back to my apartment, and don’t even get her off?
“I suck. ”
She props herself up on my chest and smiles. “I don’t know, I was kind of enjoying how completely useless you got there at the end. ”
“I bet. ”
“No, seriously. You’re always so in charge. You’ve made me come, like, a million times, and I’ve only …” She gets bashful, looks away.
“I like making you come. ”
Caroline shifts to the side and gives my chest a shy smile. She strokes her hand over my chest, down my stomach. “I like making you come, too. A lot. ”
“You sound surprised. ”
“I didn’t always like it. Before. ”
I’d guessed as much.
“It wasn’t—it wasn’t bad, really. It just wasn’t …”
“Like this. ”
“Yeah. ”
Her fingers find the button on my jeans. “So I said a minute ago that I’d, uh, clean you up. ”
“You don’t have to. ”
“But if I want to. ”
“If you want to, knock yourself out. ” I catch her chin, tip up her face so I can see her eyes. “But if you don’t want to—tonight, or if you’re still coming around next week or in a month, and you don’t want to then, either—that’s fine. I mean, I know you love lists and schedules and all that shit, but there’s not, like, a list of stuff we have to do or some timetable we hav
