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Rule #1: Erotic Mayberry is a spiritual awakening intended to enhance the pleasure of all occupants. No violence of any kind will be tolerated. (submitted by Chris G.)
Rule #2: All owners must attend the weekly HOA meetings. If under the weather or have another valid excuse, a written note must be given to a member of management by the end of the next business day. (submitted by Chris G.)
Rule #3: Jealousy is strictly forbidden. Sharing is our way of life. To have and to keep is to silently weep. (submitted by Chris G.)
Rule #4: No pet shall have sexual relations with another pet unless an owner has invited it to happen or it is part of an organized game or event. (submitted by Rachelle J.)
Rule #5: No pet shall ever come (ejaculate) inside another pet for any reason. This is an honor reserved for owners. The only exception to this rule is when an owner gives his or her permission during sexual play. (submitted by Chris G.)
Rule #6: All new pets must go through a 4-day mandatory training class where they will be trained on all aspects of pleasing an owner. (submitted by Crystal S.)
Rule #7: A pet shall never wear panties or underwear after 5pm and never while the owner is home from work. (submitted by Chris G.)
Rule #8: Pets enrolled in new pet training shall never be late to class and shall show up to each class clean and ready to participate. Being late is a violation of the rules and regulations and will result in negative points. Don’t let it happen. Have respect for your teachers as they will have respect for you. (submitted by Chris G.)
Rule #9: All new pets will receive a community charge card with a $500 limit. A minimum payment of $100 must be paid on the 1st and 15th of each month. Bad credit will result in negative points and possible removal from the credit system. (submitted by Chris G.)
Rule #10: No visitors, unless prearranged through the HOA and only necessary vendors or law enforcement, will be allowed access. No family will be permitted. If an owner or a pet would like to visit family outside of the community, that should be organized themselves and pets may only leave the premises when escorted by an owner. Remember, family members should be given no details about what goes on inside our walls. (submitted by Chris G.)
Rule #11: Shock collars allowed only on Thursdays. Set the RFI to channel 10. (submitted by Ellie M.)
Rule #12: A mixer is a required event once a month where swinging is mandatory. (submitted by Angel W.)
Rule #13: At least once per year the neighborhood must hold an annual Pets Parade where pets will be shown off to the community. One pet will be chosen as the parade king or queen and will be given special benefits for the following year
(to end on the day of the next pet parade) as decided by the HOA Management Committee. (submitted by Anne M.)
Rule #14: Not required, but Mondays are considered Yoga Mondays, and pets will be rewarded double punches on their participation cards. Pets with full cards will receive rewards provided by the HOA Management Committee. Remember, a flexible pet is a happy owner. (submitted by Lin G.)
Rule #15: Anytime the neighborhood siren goes off, all activities must stop, and the pet must give him or herself willingly to the owner. If at home, both the pet and owner must make their way to the back, sliding glass door where they should fuck with the blinds open. (submitted by Chris G.)
Rule #16: Not mandatory, but Tuesdays will be considered Topless Tuesdays and any pet seen without a shirt (and bra for female pets) walking around the neighborhood will receive double punches on their participation cards. Pets with full participation cards will receive rewards by the HOA Management Committee. (submitted by Martina M.)
Rule #17: Pole dancing classes have been added to the participation punch card program. Participation in classes will reward you a punch on your card. Participation in Wednesday morning classes result in a double punches. Remember, pets with a full participation card will be rewarded by the HOA Management Committee. (submitted by Suzanne M.)
Rule #18: Mowing of front lawns must be done topless. This goes for male and female neighbors, owners and pets. (submitted by Suzanne M.)
Rule #19: Pets who allow owners to bathe them outdoors will be rewarded double punches on their participation punch card. Remember, pets with a full participation card will be rewarded by the HOA Management Committee. (submitted by Darcey T.)
Rule #20: Saturdays will now be known as 69 Saturdays. At least once that day, owners and pets must sixty-nine each other. Remember, routines establish trust. A sixty-nine per week is a great trust establisher. (submitted by Maureen G.)
Rule #21: All homeowners are required to have some sort of open house at least once per month. This means at least one neighbor must be invited into your house for sexual playtime either with the owner, with the pet, or with both. Remember, the more the merrier. (submitted by Yavette H.)
Rule #22: Pets must be petted daily. Not a single day should go by without sensual touching between an owner and his/her pet. Owners cannot expect pets to remain happy and loyal if they’re unwilling to spend time with them. (submitted by Jocqueline P.)
Rule #23: Battery and sex toy machines must be filled and in working order at all times. This is the responsibility of management but has been placed here so we can all be held accountable. If you find a machine is not operable, please inform a member of management immediately. (submitted by Cindy G.)
Rule #24: A schedule will be created and kept at the community center that will establish which home will be responsible for the quarterly neighborhood orgy. All owners must comply with the scheduled date and time. When hosting an orgy, owners are required to provide food, drinks, and party game materials. (submitted by Vivetia A.)
Rule #25: Pets must maintain physical contact with owners at all times when out in public. The only exception to this rule is during organized games or events and partner swaps. (submitted by Deb. C.)
Rule #26: Talk of what goes on inside Erotic Mayberry is strictly forbidden once outside the neighborhood security gate. (submitted by Chris G.)
Rule #27: A pet shall never walk out of the bedroom on an owner when asked to participate in a sexual act. A pet may voice his/her complaints or concerns and may refrain from the activity at hand, but may never leave the room angry. In other words, no one can be forced but failure to participate is frowned upon. If you feel the need to back out of an activity, do it professionally and not out of anger. (submitted by Chris G.)
Rule #28: If you see people having sex in the open you have to stop and touch yourself. (submitted by Martina M.)
Rule #29: If you leave your door unlocked, your neighbors are free to come in and watch. Owners and pets are encouraged to leave their front doors unlocked at all times. (submitted by Faith G.)
