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“I know, sweetie, but that’s not realistic,” she said.
A buzzer went off somewhere in the kitchen and Suzanne jumped up.
“Oh, my meatloaf, give me a sec,” she yelled as she raced to the kitchen.
Alone in the living room with Pasha, I felt tears threatening to pour out. She was telling me my man wasn’t going to be faithful to me even if I asked him to.
“What are you doing here?” Pasha whispered.
“I needed to talk to her,” I said.
“You did. Now go. Nothing she says will make you feel better.”
“Do you love her?”
“It’s complicated,” he said. “I desire her.”
How could he not? I almost desired her myself. She was one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen.
“You really should go,” he said.
“Okay, so where were we?” Suzanne asked.
“Bastian will cheat on me,” I reminded her.
“It’s not cheating,” she said. “If you think about it like that, you’re bound to get hurt.”
“I know he’s different. He won’t hurt me.”
“Sure he won’t.”
“He won’t,” I said.
“Well,” she said. “Have faith in that then. We’ll see. Maybe you’re right.”
I hadn’t realized I was crying, but I was. I wiped my tears away and left the room.
“Thank you,” I said as I made my way to the door.
Pasha followed me out and grabbed my arm before I could leave. Suzanne was nowhere in sight. He pushed me up against the door and kissed me hard. I pulled away and raised a hand to slap him, but I couldn’t go through with it.
“Fuck him,” he said. “Fuck her too. Let’s get out of here.”
“I have someone already,” I said as I walked out the door. “Bastian loves me and he won’t hurt me.”
The walk home was a blur. I wanted to get off the street and home to my sanctuary, my safe place where I wouldn’t have to listen to anyone. I didn’t want to hear a single person tell me that I’d need to adapt to the way things were in Erotic Mayberry.
When I reached my house, I bolted through the door, slammed it shut, and ran to my bed to hide under the covers and sob. It’s what I would have done at ten years old and it’s what I did that night. Why? I honestly don’t know. Nobody had wronged me. Everyone had only tried to open my eyes to the truth. Bastian hadn’t even hurt me. Yet I was sad. I think I knew deep down what was to come.”
Chapter 9
Tension’s fingers were doing wonders when I paused my story. My head was filled with mixed emotions and I couldn’t concentrate. My words had turned to stuttered sighs.
I believe I may have stopped my story and only continued it in my head. How much of it he’d heard I wasn’t quite sure but I realized my hand was cupped over his, forcing his fingers into me, and if I’d pushed any harder he might’ve ended up fisting me.
Yet, he was way too cool and collected.
The whiskey had given him a calm kind of control. He stared into my eyes and turned up one corner of his mouth in a cocky sort of grin.
