Asha’s smile disappeared. She glanced at Safire, who looked quickly away, toward the Rift mountains.
“It won’t take long.”
Grabbing both wasters, Asha dismissed herself. As she passed Safire, she said, “Come to the training grounds before you leave for the scrublands.”
Safire nodded.
In the quiet that followed her departure, Dax came to join his former commandant at the edge of the roof.
Safire looked down at her feet.
She and the king had barely exchanged five words since the day of their argument, when Dax stripped her of her title. Whenever they were alone together now, a stilted silence seemed to wedge itself between them. Safire had been keeping her distance, trying to escape it.
“I think we should talk about what happened in the Star Isles.”
Safire hugged herself, staring out over the city. “Really, Dax, there’s no need. I’d rather put it behind us.”
“I owe you an apology,” he said.
Safire glanced up, studying him. “What?”
It was Dax who looked away this time. “I should have trusted you. If I had...”
“You were in a horrible position, Dax. You did what you thought was necessary. I understand.”
“No. It’s more than that.” He caught her gaze with his own. “Let me explain myself.”
Safire nodded for him to go on.
“That first day in Axis, I saw the hope in Roa’s eyes when Leandra gave her that seed. In that moment, I swore to do whatever was necessary to ensure those seeds were delivered to the scrublands. I couldn’t fail them again. I couldn’t failRoaagain. But my determination to not fail... it came with a cost. And that cost was you.” He swallowed hard. “I’ve never been more ashamed of myself than when I didn’t believe you. I should have trusted Eris becauseyoutrusted Eris. I’ve been trying to think of a way to make it up to you, but I’m not sure there is one. I failed you, and I’m sorry.”
Safire stood there, speechless and staring.
“I’d like to restore you to your former position of commandant,” he said. “If you still want it, that is.”
Safire was about to say yes, of course she wanted it. Commanding the king’s army, training his soldats, protecting him and the queen... it was what she was meant for.
She opened her mouth to say so, but something stopped her.
You haven’t been yourself,Asha had said.
Was it because she was no longer Dax’s commandant? Or was it something else? After all, Asha had proven she didn’t need Safire anymore. She had Kozu, the First Dragon, to protect her. She had Torwin to stand at her back.
And Roa and Dax didn’t really need Safire, either. They had each other, not to mention their loyal guards, as well as the full support of the kingdom.
Safire looked past Dax, out over the city below them.
Once, this was all she wanted: a life free from fear in the place she called home, and the ability to protect the ones she loved. Safire had spent her whole life wanting to belong in Firgaard, in the palace, with Asha and Dax. And while she knew she would always have a place here, would always be bound to her cousins by blood and friendship and love, she wondered, for the first time, if it was enough.
Or if her path lay elsewhere.
Because these past six weeks, Safire found herself longing for islands shrouded in mist. Found herself missing the sound of the sea. Found herself aching for a girl who’d once trailed her like a shadow through the palace halls.
“I do want it,” said Safire, looking up at Dax. “But I thinkthere’s something else I want more. And the only way to know for sure is to go find it.”
Dax’s lips parted, but he must have seen in her eyes what she meant, because he smiled.
“Well then,” he looked past her, toward the Rift. “Here’s your chance.”
