“That’s impossible,” said Raif, shaking his head, staring down into the mist below once more.
Before Safire could join Dax, the empress stopped her.
“If she comes to you again, don’t detain her. Don’t call for help.” Leandra’s gaze bore into Safire, as if it was just the two of them alone on that balcony. As if the others didn’t exist. “The next time she seeks you out, I want you to kill her. Is that understood?”
Safire held that stormy gaze. “Understood.”
The word was like ash in her mouth.
Thirty
To cancel the banquet—one held in honor of her esteemed visitors—would be seen as weakness, so Leandra insisted they continue on as if no interruption had taken place. As a result, Safire now sat at a long table, staring down into the glazed eyes of the mackerel on her plate. While those around her had all but eaten the bones of their meals, their plates now cold, Safire hadn’t so much as touched hers. She kept thinking of the way her heart stopped as she watched Eris jump from the balcony. Of the last words she’d said, and the look in her eyes.
To think I fancied myself in love with you.
“Are you all right?”
Dax’s voice jolted Safire out of her thoughts. She looked up into her cousin’s brown eyes.
“I...” The thought of the empress’s kill order turned her stomach.
He glanced around them. To his right sat Roa, and beside Roa, the empress. To Safire’s left sat Raif. Leaning in, Daxlowered his voice as he said, “You did the right thing.”
Had she? Then why did she feel so wretched?
Safire kept her voice down as she said, “Is killing her the right thing, too?”
Normally upholding the law made Safire feel good and right andworthy.This time, it made her one of them: the Lumina who beat women in the street; the empress who executed people without a trial.
Safire quickly glanced around the table. Raif was deep in conversation with Caspian. Roa had the empress talking about the blight.
“What if she’s right?” Safire thought of Eris’s question on the balcony. “What if I’m not one of the good soldiers?” She swallowed, suddenly seeing herself through different eyes.What if I’m one of the bad ones?
“Safire...”
“Leandra executed those pirates you brought her without a trial, Dax.”
He nodded. “I know.”
She frowned up at him. “You know?”
“It’s not a decision you or I would have made.” He looked down to his plate, the line of his jaw hardening a little. “But we can’t go around imposing our ways of doing things on everyone else. The laws of the Star Isles are the laws of the Star Isles. And while we’re guests here, we need to abide by them. It’s not our place to interfere.”
Safire stared at her king. “And if those laws are unjust?”
He glanced at her. “What if theyarejust? You and I havenever had to deal with pirates, Saf. Leandra has to. There may be good reason for not giving them trials.”
Safire felt like her body was turning to stone. “Are you listening to yourself?” she whispered.
Dax had never cared if Safire challenged him. In fact, he welcomed it. He always wanted her opinion—most especially when it was contrary to his—because he respected and admired Safire. Because in arguing with her, in talking through the issue, Dax came out the other side better prepared to make whatever decision needed making.
Now, though, instead of arguing back like he usually did, his eyes darkened and he looked away from her.
“What would you have me do?” He kept his voice so low, it was almost a whisper. “Challenge her? Condemn her laws? Tell her you won’t catch the criminal you promised to catch for her?”
Safire opened her mouth to respond, only to find she didn’t have an answer.
“We need her, Safire. Thescrublandsneed her. Without those seeds she’s promised us, hundreds of thousands will die. Tell me those lives matter to you.”
