I knew a girl once whose songs helped her stand against all the forces stronger than she was.
The set list at her feet blurred before her.
Sometimes, you remind me of her.
Don’t do it,she told herself.Stay focused. This is everything you’ve been working towards. Don’t screw it up.
And still, she looked away from the set list and into the lights. Remembering that not so long ago, all she wanted was to sing her own songs up onstage.
She still wanted that.
Pulling her guitar strap back over her head, she set it down on its stand, then picked up her ukulele and quickly tuned it. Her voice was thick in her throat as she said, “This song is about forgetting. And … and remembering.”
Emeline started to strum. It wasn’t one of Chloe’s songs; it was one of hers. The one she’d written about her grandfather. Except now, standing on this stage, she realized that wasn’t really true.
The song wasn’t about Pa. It had never been about Pa.
“Breathing slow and steady
Sleep has settled in
I trace the pathways, midnight blue
That run beneath your skin
Some spirit I have lost somewhere
I search for it in vain
Some beauty I’ve forgotten
Since you forgot my name
Every time I close my eyes
You’re waiting there for me
Rooted in my deepest dreams
Strong and silent as a tree
Some spirit sleeps but never dies
Some beauty never fades
Some love lies dormant underground
Since I forgot your name”
And as she sang, one last memory crashed into her.
THAT FIRST YEAR AWAYfrom Edgewood, she did what she needed to make ends meet, playing in whatever venues would pay her—cafés, dive bars, charity fundraisers. When money was tight, she busked in the street.
She made an EP and used it to apply to music festivals in the fall. She started getting into those festivals. Started seeing her name on their posters. One of the best managers in the business signed her as a client.
But it wasn’t enough. No matter how frugal she was, she fell further into debt.
Her manager told her to hire a writer and change up her sound. Fearing this was her one and only chance to make it, she took his advice.
