“Yes, indeed.” Seeing a reaction from Jane, Elizabeth pushed to see if there might be more. “I joined you in the park and you and Georgiana were speaking with averyhandsome young man. He seemed lively, and quite gentlemanly.”
Jane mumbled something unintelligible.
“What was that, dear?”
“I said, Wickham seemed gentlemanly, too.”
“Wickham? Did Mr Bingley mention Lieutenant Wickham?” Elizabeth and her aunt exchanged a look of dismay.
“No, not at all.”
“Then we do not see the connection.” Elizabeth’s eyes darted to Mrs Gardiner then back to Jane.
“He was handsome and charming… and a snake in the grass.” Jane finished with a hiss. She took in a ragged breath of air. “He was flirting with me. Even after telling us of being in town with his wife.”
“Wife?”
“Isabelle.”
“Well… are you sure-”
Jane cut her off. “What if he was trying to seduce me? Suppose he has heard of Lydia’s folly and believesallthe Bennet sisters to be immoral women.”
“No, Jane.” Rushing to her sister, Elizabeth took her hands to clutch them between her own. “’Tis true, he seemed an agreeable gentleman, but I did not perceive any deception on his part.”
“Wickham was a master at misrepresenting himself. He was all charm, with his smiles and pretty compliments. How do we know Mr Bingley is not the same?” She pushed away Elizabeth’s hands and began pacing again, this time at a faster speed. She wasbanging her hands against her thighs as she walked, the thumps a percussive beat to the words being torn out of her.
“We warned him, Lizzy. You and I. We both begged him not to let Lydia go. She was too wild, too ungoverned. Everything was always such a good joke to Lydia,” she spat the name out. “Our mother allowed her to misbehave, even encouraged it. And to Brighton? A camp full of soldiers? With that… that… Forster woman,” she finally spat out, “Who probably encouraged Lydia to throw herself at the men.”
Elizabeth’s expression was one of shock. When she checked her aunt’s reaction, she saw Mrs Gardiner was calm, but her eyes were full of pain. Her eldest niece was finally purging the emotional tumour, which had grown rancid inside her.
“But our father is the head of the family, and he and his complacency let it all happen. Well, it is not much of a family now, is it? Who is laughing now?”
The sobs overtaking Jane were so ferocious she could no longer hold herself up, her legs buckled, and she sank to the floor. The loving arms of Elizabeth and Mrs Gardiner went around her and held her close. Together they raised her up and moved her over to the bed.
Jane’s wails sounded like they were being torn from her very soul. She wept as though her heart was breaking. It probably had and remained frozen in such a state until that very moment.
Perhaps now, Jane might be able to begin taking steps to heal and her heart may become whole once more.
When Jane had sufficiently calmed and sat hiccupping, all three women swayed together in collective comfort.
“Jane, you never said a word. I had no idea you felt this way. Why did you remain at Longbourn? There were plenty of opportunities to remove to the Gardiners.”
“I felt it was my duty to care for Papa after Mama’s death. I suppose, I also felt it was my penance. I should have fought harderto keep Lydia home.”
“No, Jane. That is enough now. You are no more culpable than I. We said our piece and our father let her go. That whole mess was a culmination of years of marriage, and both our parents had the responsibility for it. Not you and not I.”
Mrs Gardiner took Jane’s face between her hands and looked her straight in the eye. “Jane, before it is too late, I pray you find it within yourself to leave the past behind. God created you with a beautiful, kind and loving heart. One which requires a recipient. He forgives us our human frailties. It is time you forgive yourself.”
“He should not have flirted-”
“Jane,” Elizabeth chuckled, “Have you looked at your reflection in the mirror? Men cannot help but flirt with a beautiful woman.”
“One day you will meet a man who you will like in return. I fear there will be no room for him in your heart if you do not expunge this anger and resentment.” Mrs Gardiner did not let her niece turn away until she was convinced Jane had heard her words. With a nod from Jane, Mrs Gardiner released her face to once again wrap her in an embrace.
Into the silence came a timid knock on the door. “That will be the tea. It will be most refreshing, will it not?” Elizabeth rose from the bed and went to open the door. The maid outside was red with embarrassment and could not meet her mistress’s eye.
Using her body to shield them from the room, Elizabeth placed one finger over her lips and gave the maid a stern look. The maid gave her an eager nod and only then did Elizabeth open the door fully to let her in.
