I expected Rykr to follow me, but when I turned, he was still by the closed door, resting his back against it. Studying me.
“Do you want to remain Viori?” The question was blunt, his eyes narrowing in the corners, his gaze penetrating. “If we survive the Skorn, would you go with me to Lirien?”
He didn’t have to explain why he spoke through the bond. Given everything we’d been through, this was safer.
He was offering his hand. Drawing a line in the sand and giving me a choice. My heart burned within my chest. “Would you ever turn your back on Lirien?”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.” His voice was a sharp hiss inside me.
“Neither do you, Rykr. I love my people. This is my home. Yes, war may be coming, but I believe in the Viori cause. Don’t you see how harmful the Bloodbinding is?”
‘The war between Lirien and Viori is no longer just about the Bloodbinding.” His voice was bitter. “And going to Lirien may be the only way for you—us—to live.”
The conversation had veered far from where I’d intended. I closed the gap between us and slipped my hands into his. “Then let’s not talk about it anymore,” I said. “Let’s go to sleep. Our next move can wait until tomorrow.”
He nodded, his expression unreadable as his fingers curled against mine. “Speaking of our next move … there’s someone I need you to meet.”
I stiffened. “Your friend?” Oh gods, had he remained in the city? If I was found in the company of a Lirien … I took a deep, tired breath. “Not tonight. Tonight, I want to sleep. Forget that I’m dying because of the oath. That it doesn’t matter whether I survive the Skorn—my fate is decided. That I betrayed my people, protecting you, enabling a skinwraith attack. That Moira was attacked, Giulia was killed, and Esme was kidnapped … and I’ve dragged my friends into treason. I can’t take anything more.”
Something in his face hardened, became more distant. He released me and sat on the edge of the bed. “I ruined your life, didn’t I?” He dragged his hands over his face, exhaling a breath heavy with sorrow.
When he looked up at me, his expression was raw. “All my life, Seren, I’ve only brought destruction whenever I tried to help. Those fire powers I told you about? I set more than one fire accidentally. I couldn’t control it—the rage that came with anger. Justified or not. My father thought I was worthless and sent me away. The Seal changed that, but I lost everything I’d been up to that point. I’m not even sure I know who I am anymore, but somehow, I still keep destroying, even when I don’t want to. Hurting those who don’t deserve it.”
I bent down and unlaced my boots, taking a moment to process his words.
That is his something true.
And he’d so bravely said something so raw and unpolished.
I’d wanted him to tell me who he was and, somehow, this cut deeper to the heart of him than anything else.
Sitting beside him, I tucked my legs up onto the bed and studied his profile. Neither of us was stronger than the other. We both had our fears, our wounds, our burdens.
And we both needed each other now. It was selfish of me to think that I was the only one in pain tonight.
“I know who you are.”
He jerked his chin up, his frown deepening. “What?”
I offered a tentative smile. “I know who you are. You’re Rykr Westhaven. The man who saved my life. You’re honorable. Brave. And worthy of any role thrust upon him.”
He shut his eyes, his throat bobbing as his jaw set. “But who’s to say I won’t ruin more, Seren? That my choices won’t lead to more destruction? Make this world worse for the people around me?”
“You won’t.”
Incredulity shone in his blue-green eyes. “You don’t know that.”
“I do.” I scooted closer and brushed my thumb against his lower lip, slow and deliberate. “Because only good men worry about things like that. And you don’t believe in fate anyway, remember? Make your own fate, Rykr—if you dare. Defy them all.”
“I’m going to kiss you, you know that?” His hands framed my face, fingers threading into the hair just behind my ears. “I’m going to kiss you, and I won’t want to stop.”
“You’re not afraid of me?” I arched a brow. “After last time?—”
He cut me off with a hard, possessive kiss. As his tongue swept into my mouth, colliding with mine, I had my answer.
I need him.
He pulled away, eyes smoldering as he stood, a slow smile curving his lips. “If we might die, this is a preferrable way, wouldn’t you say?” He reached for the belt at his waist.
