He’d lied to me.
I’d lain in his arms, made love to him all night. Fallen in love with him, without even knowing his name.
Tension crept into my shoulders.
The signs had been there, hadn’t they? The way he hesitated when talking of his past. The way he deflected, dodged questions with wit and charm.
I should have seen it. I should have known.
What a stupid little fool I was. Everything made so much more sense now. Everything he’d said—a half-truth meant to make me hear what I wanted to hear and see what I wanted to see.
His queen.
Bile tore at my throat.
And the worst of it was … no matter how much I loved him … no matter how much he said he loved me … we could never be together. The heir to the throne of Lirien couldn’t marry a Viori Vangar woman, could he? And even if he could, I didn’t want to be a queen. And never the queen of Lirien.
It was almost déjà vu. Would I survive the Skorn only to watch the man I loved marry his true queen while I was cast aside once again? What I’d felt for Seth was nothing compared to what I felt for Rykr.
How would I withstand that?
Amahle squeezed my hand. “You look like you’re going to fall apart or murder someone.”
“I might do both,” I admitted, meeting her warm gaze.
“Do you think they’ll be able to get out in time?” Ciaran murmured. He looked so tired that my heart broke a little. His whole family was in the House of the Veil.
“We have to hope.” I looked from Ciaran back to Amahle. “I’m so sorry?—”
“What are you apologizing for?” Amahle’s brow furrowed. “You need to stop blaming yourself for everything. You know that, right? Haldron started all this.”
“True,” I admitted, bitterly. “But Haldron didn’t make the skinwraiths attack our camp and that’s what forced our tribe to come to Emberstone. I could have?—”
“I’ve been thinking about that,” Ciaran said, his gaze low. “Even if we had warned everyone, you were right. Tara was right. They would have thought Rykr was involved and still wouldn’t have been prepared. The outcome would have been the same. You’re not to blame for that. No one is.”
Sweet Ciaran. I paused mid-step, turned, and threw my arms around him, his words a balm I hadn’t known I’d needed. Ciaran caught me in his embrace, everything about him so comforting and familiar. I’d hurt him so many times over the last few weeks, even questioning his loyalty, yet he’d remained by my side. Steadfast.
My eyes misted and I stepped back. “I’m sorry,” I managed. “I’m so sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I’ve tested our friendship and you’re still here. I love you, Ciaran. I never should have questioned you.”
Ciaran’s expression flickered. A heartbeat passed before he cupped my face, his grey eyes warm and gentle. “Nothing will ever change how I feel about you, Seren. I’m proud to be your friend. Always.”
Amahle grinned. “Oh, thank the gods. I was worried we might die with you two never figuring out how to talk.” She stepped between us as we started forward again. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve wanted to shake you both?”
“We’re not going to die,” I said firmly. “I’m not going to let that happen. Once we warn the tribe, I want you all to stay with them and leave Emberstone. That’s your part in all this. Get them to safety. Between Rykr, Thorne, and my father, we’ll figure out the rest.”
“No way,” Amahle said, her lips vibrating as she expelled a huff. “We’re not leaving you, Seren.”
“You have to.” I gave them both pleading looks. “I don’t have a choice. If I don’t show up for the Skorn tonight, I’ll be hunted. But it will be a lot easier for me to do what I need to do if I know you’re safe.”
“What about what we want?” Ciaran asked skeptically. “Doesn’t that matter?”
“Of course it matters.” My heart throbbed as I looked at my brave friends. They were my family. Closer, really. And they were also Vangar—brave and fearless, no matter the challenge. “But I’ll need all my wits to get through tonight. I’m already worried to death about Esme. I can’t afford to be worrying about you, too. Please.”
They exchanged a look, their faces troubled. “It’s not your responsibility to protect us,” Amahle said firmly. “But we’ll do our best to make it easier for you, all right?”
We were getting closer to the House of the Veil and, somehow, it didn’t seem like enough time to say everything I wanted to say to them. This could be the last time I saw them. “I just?—”
Amahle squeezed my hand. “We know, Seren.” She stopped and drew me into a hug. “But sometimes, when you’re going through a trial, it’s better to know that you’re not alone. That matters too.”
