An eternity later, his struggles were done for the day, the family had supped together, and the night was his.
Tucking the book and paper under his arm, he jogged to Charlotte’s, eager to see her reaction to his new proposal to trade educations.
Chapter Twelve
Distracted by all the ways William tempted her, Charlotte sent a note around for Belle requesting a visit.
Posing as a baker delivering goods, Belle brought a delicious apple cake with her. Charlotte’s cook was never able to replicate that particular recipe as well as Belle’s source, which Belle refused to share, and she looked forward to this particular disguise every time.
Her friend sat forward, chin on hand, tea and cake forgotten beside her elbow on the table as Charlotte recounted the undressing, her momentary breakdown, the kiss, his graciousness.
"My word, Char. What an incredible balance of obedience and maturity, and at that age. He’s a gem.” She fanned herself with her napkin.
“I hate to admit it, but you’re right. I was in shock when he did not defer to my wishes, but it was admirable. But Belle, we’ve been over this. He’s under twenty. And inheriting an earldom and in need of heirs.”
“Char, we’ve been over this.” Belle mimicked her words back at her, wagging her head with a grin. “This needn’t be a forever thing. Why can’t a widow have a lovely summer fling with her university rakelet? And besides, as I’ve been telling you for years, we shall never know if the lack of children was because of you or Charles…well, unless you marry again. In the meantime, you need some happiness in your life, and some physical gratification by someone other than yourself. Who better than a man who clearly has a tendre for you, who is open to whatever games you want, and who admires your brain? I do not understand why you are fighting this.”
Charlotte shook her head. Belle knew she and Charles had wanted children, not simply as heirs but to love and nurture. She’d been heartbroken when years passed without success. Both a physician and a midwife said that it was likely due to her menses being irregular. Herfault. The guilt still plagued her, although widowhood with a child or more would have been that much more difficult. Belle had told her countless times that no one was at fault for physical limitations.
Having no desire to rekindle that argument, she focused on the difference in age. “Belle, I do not want to hurt a young man who deserves someone his own age. Not that he’ll necessarily fall in love with me, but you must see that someone that age is impressionable. What if he expects women after me to tie him up?”
“What if he does? You’re not thinking you’ll ‘ruin’ William for ‘normal’ sex, are you? We had that conversation when I first started training you. First, ’tis—”
“—not ruining,”—they spoke together, Belle having long ago drummed this recitation into Charlotte—“and second, he would not do it if it didn’t appeal to him.”
Charlotte added, “I know. I know. I regressed for a moment. If the desire is not in someone, it would not arouse them, no matter the influence. If ’tis, then it is as normal as any other intimacy. Honestly, more than anything, I do not want to risk our conversations about his studies.”
“Why limit yourself? You can make your own rules, Char.”
“How? He cannot call on me without gossip. ’Tisn’t as though we can slip away at every ball to discuss poetry and philosophy. I can just imagine the talk if we attended an intellectual salon together.” She sighed.
“First, William seems to have been inventive enough to date, so I am quite sure there is a way. And second, society be damned. You are a widow, you have a bit more leeway now, and no one seems to care what men do. Hell, his friends would toast him if they thought he was tupping an attractive,slightlyolder woman.”
Charlotte pursed her lips. She’d called William’s interest an infatuation, but what of hers? She did not want either of them to be hurt by a short-term affair that had no possibility of being anything more. And she was starting to worry about her own heart as much as his.
“Char, please think about it at least.” Belle pleaded. “You’ve already negotiated the intellectual side. You might similarly barter the sexual side as well. Given that he has repeatedly expressed interest in that, you’ll need a stronger argument than you have now, because even I am not buying it, and I don’t want you like he does, much as I love you.” She winked and smiled.
Charlotte could not stop her laugh.
“Besides,” Belle continued. “I think that taking control in a short-term relationship with a like-minded gentleman could do your confidence a world of good, and set you up to then search for your happily-ever-after with whatever age limits and other prerequisites you want to place on that role. Either way, you owe me my winnings from our wager at the start of the summer.”
* * * *
That evening, Austin ushered a still-panting William into the parlor. She hadn’t trusted herself with upstairs, or releasing the servants.
She took a moment to compose herself. It would not do for William to see her agitation. Given his missives, she suspected he’d use it to his advantage.
And yours.
Shushing the devilish, Belle-like voice in her head, she rose to greet him and paused, her knees unable to sustain the motion of walking for a moment. Lud, he was delicious, all golden hues and plain dark clothes, hair parenthetically framing his forehead.
Her knees. Had. Gone. Weak.Really, Charlotte?They hadn’t done that since Charles had first called on her, too many years to think about now.When you were his age.
She willed strength back into her limbs and continued toward him. His scent wafted to her.
Cloves, that is it.Spiced rum and cloves.
She took a long sniff, as his eyes trailed over her heaving bosom, bright with excitement.
