William shook his head. “I see no reason to remove it, Mistress. He was an important part of your life. While I hope you will find solace with me as well, we have not been together as long, and I am not always available. I am glad you have something that reminds you of that love.”
She cocked her head, blinking as though fighting tears. “That is a beautiful and incredibly mature thing to say. Thank you.”
He nodded, his expression solemn. “You are welcome. Now, I should like to give you solace, as ’twas my mother who upset you, I suspect. How may I serve you?”
She lifted a hand to cup his cheek. “I am not fit for service tonight, I am afraid.”
He covered her hand with his own. “Hmm. I disagree. Tonight, of all nights, you need service more than ever. But you are not of a mind to direct me, mmm? I shall take care of you. You can redirect me if I do something wrong, but I feel sure I can manage without much instruction.”
“Puppy…”
When she did not continue, he took hope from her use of her pet name for him. She’d called him “William” only moments earlier.
“Trust me, please.” Standing, he put his sherry aside, and removed his coat, cravat, waistcoat, and shoes.
She took a first sip of sherry and watched his movements.
Shirt loose at his throat, he leaned over her. “Roll to your side for me.”
Without the “please,” it bordered on being a command, and her eyes flared, but she rolled over without a word.
He ran a hand down her back from shoulder to hip, soothing her before he undid her gown. Spreading the edges, he reached through to also unlace her stays. Next, he reached up and fished for pins in her hair, combing through it with his fingers.
Grasping her shoulder, he rolled her back to face him, and pulled her dress down to her lap, then her stays, then had her raise her hips to pull them past, then off.
Handing her back her abandoned sherry, he waited for her to take a sip.
“Hold tight.” He lifted her in his arms, and carried her across to the bed. Putting her drink on the table, he tugged her to face away from him on her side, keeping her hair out from under her.
She lay still, eyes closed.
He grabbed her hairbrush from her dressing table and went around to sit cross-legged in the middle of the bed facing her. Running the brush through her hair, he considered her emotional state. He did not want to disturb her, but some things needed to be said.
“Mistress, you do know that I realize not all service is sexual in nature? Teaching you Latin, taking care of you when you’re unwell, even something as simple as fetching you tea. I enjoy all of it. For you, and for myself.”
She blinked at him, her mouth still downturned.
“It has been drilled into me from a young age that I will inherit the title of Earl of Harrington, and all the responsibilities and commitments that come with it. As soon as I finished university—even before that, as you saw—my parents needed my help. Now, at the age of one-and-twenty, I resolve disputes for the estates, manage our money, and try to influence Parliamentary decisions that affect the British people and the future of our great nation.”
She was watching him more alertly, up on an elbow, and he paused in his brushing.
"Whilst it may appear that my submission to you benefits you more than me—”
She gave a small snort.
He slanted her an acknowledging grin before continuing. “—you are my salvation. I come here, and I can…not forget, but put aside…all the decisions I must make daily. You take the reins, and I do what you need, what you want, what youdecide. I adore serving you, and it keeps me balanced. But it is far more than that. I’ve told you since the beginning, but it bears repeating tonight. You are an impressive, intelligent, breathtakingly beautiful woman, and I am lucky you allow me to love you.”
Her eyes filled with tears.
He belatedly realized this was the first time he’d told her he loved her. He’d worry about the fact that she cried in response another time. “Mistress, no. Please, whatever it is, ’tis clear you do not want to discuss it tonight, but please let me reassure you. ’Twill be all right. I will do everything in my power to make it so. Come, let me hold you, please.”
He gathered her in his arms, and pulled the covers over them, loosening her petticoats under the quilt where she would stay warm. Then, still in shirt and trousers, he pulled her into him and held her, running his hand from her head to her hip, slowly, until her breathing deepened and slowed. Only then did he close his eyes and allow sleep to take him.
* * * *
The next morning, he found his mother in her usual position in the study, head bowed over the ledgers.
He had made two stops on his way home. Approaching the guest side of the big desk, he dangled a cloth bag over the blotter.
