I love you I love you I love you.
She bit her tongue, still not quite ready to take the leap of faith to verbalize her feelings, as her hips bucked wildly and her internal muscles spasmed around him. She dropped to her elbows, unable to hold herself. The bed linens chafing against the pointed tips of her breasts extended the pulsing explosion. She keened through her teeth, and tears came to her eyes.
He thrust once more and then grunted, throbbing within her. His eyelids dropped to half mast, but he held her gaze throughout.
It was the most intense, intimate interaction she had had in her life. As they panted in the aftermath, she wallowed in ecstasy. She’d not only been intimate with two men, she had loved two men, each of them teaching her and loving her in return. The strength of her connection to William superseded even years of marriage, but her husband would want her to be happy. And she was beginning to wonder if everything in her life had led her to this generous, smart, tenacious young man.
Chapter Thirty
A fortnight later, William had chosen his Mistress every night, but had yet to convince her to reciprocate. However, he considered it progress that she did not turn him away each night. They were at an impasse, back to the secret relationship they’d maintained between his years at Oxford.
He would accept this for now, seeing her every night. But he missed spending the night in her arms, and he might need one night to catch up on sleep. He yawned a third time.
“Late night, William? Were you at the club again?” Ruth asked from her spot across the breakfast table. Newspapers were strewn between them, traded to scan the news and gird themselves for the coming day.
“Sorry, Mama. Briefly. Mostly, I was at Charlotte’s.”
She frowned.
“’Tis not for you to worry about, Mama.” He raised his teacup to finish the last of his tea.
Ruth sat back, contemplating him, her own teacup and saucer in hand. “I wasn’t worrying, William. I was debating with myself.”
“Oh? Who won?” He asked with a grin.
“Har har. I did, of course.” She smiled. “Never mind, let me think on it some more. Now, what is first for our day?”
An hour later, William looked up from his desk. He’d taken over his father’s workspace, dominating one end of the room. His mother’s desk was halfway along it, perpendicular to his. She’d chosen to face the room, rather than pushing the desk against the wall. This room was all about business these days, although they often ate and worked at the table and chairs in the other corner.
His mother was still toying with the same letter she’d started with, the end of her pen in her mouth.
“Mama.”
She looked up, her gaze distracted.
“’Tis clear you have something on your mind. You’d feel better if you simply came out with it.”
Ruth’s movements were stiff. “I do not like to betray a confidence. In fact, I do not believe I ever have before.”
“That seems like a good rule to live by.” William slid his chair back and crossed one ankle over the other knee, patient. He refused to coerce his mother into sharing secrets.
She appeared to weigh her words carefully when she spoke. “In this case, I think the greater good will be served by me sharing information with you, however.”
“Oh? If ’tis information that will help me, then I can be persuaded to waver on the good rule theory.”
“That loan from a friend…”
When she did not continue, he considered the circumstances of the loan more. He’d been busy still learning, and so focused on whatever time he could find to be with Charlotte, he had not given it much thought.
Despite her role of managing their family situation for years, Ruth’s friends were mostly women. Women, especially wives, generally did not have enough funds for the loan they’d received. He contemplated titled gentlemen with enough of a generous spirit to do that. But they would have come to him, man to man, decision maker to decision maker, would they not? Perhaps his mother had an admirer already.
Ruth was still speaking, albeit picking her words. “As you know, the one request by this person was that I do not disclose the source of the funds.”
William frowned. A lover of hers was sounding more likely. He’d be happy for her if it was, but when could she have found the time, and why the secrecy about the loan?
His mother had more to say. “However, I think it is vital that you know the source, given the situation, William.”
Vital? What situation? He was lost. “Thank you, Mama. I can see ’tis hard for you to break your word, but I trust your judgment. If you think I should know, I am certain I can maintain the confidentiality of the arrangement.”
