Ruth nodded. “William told me he’s been spending much of his free time with you. And has made it clear that he will not marry anyone except you.”
Charlotte sucked in an apprehensive breath. Where was Ruth leading with this?
Oblivious, Ruth continued, “You know I was opposed to it, and why. But Charlotte, I see he is serious about this. And he’s right, I have no say in who he marries. What I do have a say in is how I handle it, and how I welcome the next countess into the family.”
Charlotte exhaled in a gust to ask, “And how do you feel about a countess who may not be able to provide the next earl?”
Ruth rose, and Charlotte hastened to do the same. “Your willingness to step back from him, followed by your kind offer to support him in a way you hoped I’d find acceptable showed how much you care for him. To a mother, that is the most important thing. The rest of this conversation belongs between you and my son. You know my circumstances, Charlotte. They are why I firmly believe love should come first; there are enough hurdles in this world. You have my blessing”—she grinned—“despite my son insisting you don’t need it.”
Swallowing back tears, Charlotte hugged her before seeing her out.
She only hoped William would visit later that night despite his anger.
* * * *
She chose to remain in the library, fondling rather than reading the book of Catullus’s poems, trying to find words to explain her reasoning to William.
He stalked in behind Austin, his mouth pressed into a flat line. Bowing, he muttered, “Mistress,” and waited for the butler to leave.
Charlotte stood.
“Why?” His one-word question forestalled any explanation she could begin.
“Your father had just died, and I was trying to free you to find someone more suitable to marry. You cannot tell me you would not have jumped at my offer of a loan as a sign I wanted to stay connected. You’ve taken advantage of every opportunity to press your suit and even created some. I stepped back to try and do the right thing.”
His gaze narrowed on her. “You treated me like a responsibility, made decisions for me.”
“No. We were not together—”
“Only by your choice!” His words came through gritted teeth as though he was holding back a roar of anger. He clenched his fists by his sides.
“Please, William. I only wanted to help. Your father was the one making decisions for you that had long lasting repercussions. I saw what your concern for your employees did to you. I thought to bridge the gap until you could manage it without the cloud of his bad choices hanging over you,” Charlotte cried, wringing her hands. Gracious, she’d never seen him truly angry. Would he ever forgive her for this? She’d never expected to be trying to win him back even if he’d found out about it. Now, she wanted more than forgiveness, she wanted her lover, her future.
“Madame, I am an earl and a man. I have always been ready to assume responsibility for my family and staff. I came to you—have continued to come to you—as a man, wanting a partnership. But this is not that.” He sliced a hand through the air.
“William, please, I was attempting to balance the scales, not treat you as anything less than you are. You are indeed a man. You take care of your family, your friends, me.” She was begging, a ball of fear in her throat. He had to forgive her. He loved her still, didn’t he?
“Then why?”
She gulped. Her conversation with Ruth had cleared the way for this, but it was still hard to say after losing her first love. However, the words were long overdue, the reason she’d felt guilty and torn these past weeks. “It was a gesture of love. I am in love with you.”
He unclenched his hands, staring at her with wide eyes. “Charlotte?”
Oh no. He was using her name, not her honorary title he always used. “Please, William, you must know I would never have gone to Ruth rather than you if we had been together. Please, I see you. You are strong enough to take care of all of that and still allow me to command you. You are my puppy, my rakelet, yes. But most of all, you are themanI love.”
He strode to her and scooped her into his arms to hold her tight against him.
She released a breath and sank against him, clutching his jacket in relief and adoration.
His body shuddered against hers.
“William, I truly am sorry. And I love you more than I thought I could love someone. You are the best parts of me. Please forgive me.” She’d continue to beg until she was sure she was absolved of her gross misstep.
He didn’t answer, but his throat moved against her hair.
He needed soothing. How could she have forgotten how tense he could get? She smoothed her hand up and down his back, content to hold him. Forever. She knew she wanted that, but they still needed to talk about children, Ruth, and everything else.
Chapter Thirty-Two
