Narinder laughed, but it was hollow. “I see what you’re doing.”
“I’m seducing you until you relent and agree to stay. A trick out of your own book, to be fair.” Levi pressed his lips to Narinder’s, easing them open with his tongue. “We should celebrate. It’s finally...it’s finally all happening.” His voice cracked a bit, and he swallowed his wave of emotions in embarrassment.
Narinder sighed, a sound of both of exasperation and surrender. Normally, he took the lead, but for once, Levi wanted to do to Narinder what Narinder always did to him. As he unbuttoned his collar, slid his hand behind his neck, and pulled him closer, Levi aimed to make Narinder’s head foggy, to make his heart race with thrill and recklessness, to make him feel the same sense of destiny Levi felt each time he walked into Olde Town. He wanted to impart all of this with a kiss, and lose themselves until the morning.
But then Narinder broke away. “You could’ve died.Tockcould’ve died.”
“I know that,” Levi said quietly. “But we didn’t.”
“You can’t just risk yourselves like that. You told me not to worry about your plan. But when I heard...” He fiddled with Levi’s belt angrily, and Levi put out a hand to stop him.
“What did you come here for?” Levi demanded. “To yell at me? Or something else?”
“I... I don’t know.” When Narinder tried to reach for him again, Levi backed away.
“I don’t get it. All this talk about protecting Olde Town—you never really mean any of it.”
“Idomean it. But that’s not what you’re doing, is it? You’re setting the city on fire to claim what’s left behind.”
The words pierced Levi deeper than Narinder probably intended. Levi wasn’t like the other lords, so Narinder had told him this morning—and Narinder didn’t even know about Chez.
“I would go toyourparty, if you asked,” Levi told him.
“I believe that,” Narinder said. “But would you alsonotdo something, if I asked?”
It seemed a comparable request, but really, it wasn’t. Levi would take the world on his shoulders if it meant helping someone he cared about, but as Tock had told him, he couldn’t slow down, couldn’t afford to fall apart. He had a destiny to reach, and Narinder could either keep up or watch him walk away.
“It’s good I’m not asking you to, then,” Narinder murmured. He placed his hand on Levi’s shoulder, but Levi swatted him away.
“What are you asking of me, then?” Levi said. “What even are we to each other?”
“What do you want us to be?” Narinder asked, and Levi grimaced.
“More than this.”
Something in Narinder’s restraint seemed to snap. “You always want more. You can’t have everything, Levi. You can’t invite all the city’s gangsters into my club and expect me to welcome it. You can’t throw yourself and my cousin in danger and expect me to applaud you for it.” Narinder rubbed his temples. “You’re honest, and you’re clever, and you’re ambitious, but you’re also selfish. You didn’t even know my name after we first met. And after weeks into this, it’s still you doing all the talking, and me doing all the listening.”
This wasn’t how today was supposed to go, Levi thought desperately. First the news about Chez, and now Narinder chose tonight to lay into him?
“I didn’t realize I was such a burden,” Levi growled. “No wonder you kiss me all the time. That must shut me up, right?”
Narinder’s face darkened. “I didn’t meant it like that, and you know it.”
“Did you ever meananyof it?” Levi was talking about more than just Narinder’s words, and he was already making his way to the door. He could find a new club. A new connection. A new distraction. “All that stuff you said to me about Olde Town? Tockcaresabout something now. The Irons—well, we’re all still broke, but soon we won’t be. And they’rehappy—”
“I thought I cared about those things,” Narinder said. “But I guess...maybe I don’t. Not enough for the worry.”
Levi clenched his fist as he reached for the doorknob. Then he whipped around. “Tock won’t leave.”
“I know that,” he said darkly. “And I regret that, now.”
What Levi had liked about Narinder—more than the connections and the opportunity—was that he’d actually seen good in him. But all he saw in Narinder’s eyes now was wariness, and the worst part was that Levi was starting to believe he deserved it.
He kept pulling himself together only to fall apart.
“I can’t do this anymore,” Levi said suddenly, his voice hitched. “I’m done.”
Narinder let out a long sigh, and it almost sounded like relief. That only infuriated Levi more. Narinder might complain that Levi did all the talking, but clearly he’d wanted Levi to say the words for him.
