Until Syarthis and I find Summer’s traitor, this never ends, Dom.
He hadn’t been brave enough to tell her not to bother.
Domenic glanced at the grandfather clock—it was a quarter past three. He was exhausted. Iseul was exhausted, yawning andsinking into the throw pillows. But he still needed to be brave tonight.
“I need to talk to you,” he said seriously. “Not as—as you and me. As Councilor and Chosen One.”
Iseul’s brow creased as she scrutinized him. “All right.”
She patted the spot beside her on the sofa. Calynia’s enchantment draped a blanket over the cushions, welcoming him.
He stayed standing.
“It’s me,” he choked. “I’m Summer’s traitor.”
She jolted. “What? Why would you ever think such a thing?”
“Because I’m in love with Ellery.”
Iseul hitched her breath, and when she responded, she spoke slowly, carefully. Like a politician. “I need you to help me understand. A few weeks ago, you were adamant that we trust Ellery. Now—”
“I know what I said. And Ellery would never endanger Alderland, not on purpose. But lately, I can’t get the question out of my head: What if Summer’s champion and Winter’s champion have been enemies from the start? The evidence seems split both ways. Ellery doesn’t want to believe it, but she can’t dismiss it, either. And I… I don’t know what to believe. I don’t trust myself to be objective.”
Iseul set theGazetteon the coffee table. “But how does that makeyouthe traitor?”
“Because if she’s my enemy, if I have to kill her to save Alderland, I-I can’t. Iwon’t.” He paced across the carpet. “When I’m with her, everything else in the world dims. My body angles toward her. My magic reaches for her. Even now, she’s a mile across the city, but a mile—a mile is meaningless! When we both hold our wands, she might as well be in my bed for the way I feel her breathing down my neck. And I don’t care. Her hands could be in mine or around my throat, and all I would be thinking about is that I’m touching her. So, if I’m destined to saveeveryone, then of course I’m the traitor. I’d die and let the whole world die with me so long as the only person I saved was her.”
While Iseul fell silent, Calynia attempted to tend to them both. The poker stoked the fireplace. The kettle poured Domenic his own cup of tea.
“You’re not the only one who fears your feelings get in the way of your duty,” Iseul said at last. “Because I don’t know how to speak to you as a Councilor right now—I really don’t. I can only consider this as someone who loves you, and hearing how much pain you’re in, it breaks my heart.”
“Right, hence why it was easier not to tell me about the whole sacrificial lamb thing.”
She paled. “Hanna told you?”
“Yeah, but don’t sweat it. I’m over it. Already found myself a fate worse than death to worry about.”
“Oh, Dom,” she said hoarsely. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I wanted to, but—”
“No, it’s fine! I get it! You need me to protect you, but I’ve had lifelong performance issues. So don’t apologize. But don’t give me pity either.”
“Then whatdoyou want? Fury? Disgust? How could that possibly be preferable to you?”
“Because I’m not a child anymore! You don’t need to be gentle with me. You should—you should yell at me! Tell me to stop acting like this! Tell me what I’m supposed to do!”
Iseul barked out a laugh. “Goodness, is that all?” Then she heaved out a sigh and folded her hands neatly on her lap. “Sit, Domenic.”
“I’m better standing.”
“You are exhausted.Sit.”
And so he did.
She faced him solemnly. “I cannot tell you what to do next, because, as you said, you’re not a child anymore. But if you’dlike myopinion,I’d tell you that you’re only human. No one can expect you to be more than that.”
“But Iammore than that.” He swatted aside the blanket trying to wrestle him into comfort. “I know it’s hard for you to understand. You’ve seen me at my worst. But if you saw what I really am, what I’m capable of, you wouldn’t recognize me. I’m more than just a magician. Or at least, I’m supposed to be. I have to be.”
Domenic waited, yearning for her to finally see.
