“Repeat after me,” Landon instructed, “I’m grateful to be alive, and I’m grateful to be here tonight.”
I blocked out the thoughts dogging me, as much as I could. “I’m grateful to be alive,” I repeated stonily, “and I’m grateful to be here tonight.”
Landon gave me a look. “How do you think you sound?”
“Pissed?” I guessed dourly.
Landon offered me a gentle suggestion. “Perhaps try sounding less pissed.” She waited a moment, and then assessed the way I was sitting. “Open up your shoulders. Loosen those muscles. Your posture is the first thing the audience’s brain is going to latch on to. If you look like you’re trying to fold in on yourself, if you make yourself small, that sends a message.”
With a roll of my eyes, I tried to sit up a little straighter and let my hands fall to my sides. “I’m grateful to be alive, and I’m grateful to be here tonight.”
“No.” Landon gave a shake of her head. “You want to sound like a real person.”
“I am a real person.”
“Not to the rest of the world. Not yet. Right now you’re a spectacle.” There was nothing unkind in Landon’s tone. “Pretend you’re back home. You’re in your comfort zone.”
What was my comfort zone? Talking to Max, who was MIA for the foreseeable future? Crawling into bed with Libby?
“Think of someone you trust.”
That hurt in a way that should have hollowed me out but left me feeling like I might throw up instead. I swallowed. “I’m grateful to be alive, and I’m grateful to be here tonight.”
“It seems forced, Avery.”
I ground my teeth. “Itisforced.”
“Does it have to be?” Landon let me marinate in that question for a moment. “Is no part of you grateful to have been given this opportunity? To live in this house? To know that no matter what happens, you and the people you love will always be taken care of?”
Money was security. It was safety. It was knowing that you could screw up without screwing up your life.If Libby did let Drake onto the estate, if he’s the one who shot at me—she couldn’t have known that’s what was going to happen.
“Aren’t you grateful to be alive, after everything that’s happened? Did youwantto die today?”
No.I wanted to live. Really live.
“I’m grateful to be here,” I said, feeling the words a little more this time, “and I’m grateful to be alive.”
“Better, but this time… let it hurt.”
“Excuse me?”
“Show them that you’re vulnerable.”
I wrinkled my nose at her.
“Show them that you’re just an ordinary girl. Just like them. That’s the trick of my trade: How real, how vulnerable, can you seem without letting yourself actually be vulnerable at all?”
Vulnerablewasn’t the story I’d chosen to tell when they’d been designing my wardrobe. I was supposed to have an edge. But sharp-edged girls had feelings, too.
“I’m grateful to be alive,” I said, “and I’m grateful to be here tonight.”
“Good.” Landon gave a little nod. “Now we’re going to play a little game. I’m going to ask you questions, and you’re going to do the one thing you absolutely must master before I let you out of here to go to the gala tonight.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“You’renotgoing to answer the questions.” Landon’s expression was intent. “Not with words. Not with your face. Not at all—unless and until you get a question that you can, in some way, answer with the key message we’ve already practiced.”
“Gratitude,” I said. “Et cetera, et cetera.” I shrugged. “Doesn’t sound hard.”
