“You want me to go with you?” she asked, unsure why she felt like crying.
She’d waited her entire adult life to hear those words. From this man. Only, like their evening, things happened and plans changed. And Mackenzie’s big-girl plan had included helping Hunter so she could find closure and move on with her life. Then a new door had been opened, and Mackenzie wasn’t sure she had panties big enough to walk through it.
“You’ll be working,” she pointed out. “Late nights, long days, and I have my work. Which happens here. In Nashville.”
“Your clients are everywhere. You can work from anywhere. And we can make this work,” he said with an unwavering conviction that had Mackenzie wondering if they could.
But she knew better. Knew firsthand what it felt like to be trapped by someone else’s limitations, and she refused to be that kind of burden.
So yeah, while that kind of conviction felt unbreakable in the moment, it would be their downfall in the end.
“I am so proud of you, and I know the tour will be everything you dreamed of. But ...” Mackenzie slid her hands away. “I’m barely ready to navigate my own little suburbia of nine square blocks, let alone stadiums around the world.”
“Then we find someone to be your tour guide,” he said.
Everything inside Mackenzie stilled. “You mean like a keeper?”
“No, Trouble.” His voice was soft. “More like an assistant.”
“An assistant to get me from point A to point B without getting harassed? Or lost?” she clarified, knowing that, one, the interview would include questions on experience with special-needs clients. And, two, the first step toward freedom was admitting one’s limitations. “Will they shop for me, drive me around, keep my hotel room picked up?”
“That’s not what I meant.” Hunter blew out a deep breath. “At least I’m looking for a solution to blend our worlds. You’re looking for a way out.”
“No, Hunter.” For the first time, she was looking past her independence, past the fear, past the obstacles, and toward a future. A happy and free future.
She desperately wanted to believe they could be that for each other. That regardless of what happened or where life took them, if they were together, they could make it work. Or at least make each other’s worlds fuller.
Mackenzie let out a shuddery breath. She’d been here before. Hopeful. Delusional. And so desperately in love it hurt.
“I’m looking at eleven months on the road. And the tour after that. And all the amazing things coming your way,” she whispered. “But if I say yes and go with you, all of that will change. For both of us.”
“It doesn’t have to,” he said gently, brushing away a stray drop of rainwater from her cheek with his thumb.
She closed her eyes and absorbed the feel of his skin on hers. Gave herself over to the sensation, memorized it, then resigned herself to what she had to do.
Following her heart meant giving up her freedom. And asking Hunter to give up his. Because if she said yes, she’d be placed in a situation where she’d be relying on him to be her connection to the outside world. That was a lot of pressure for any relationship, let alone one that was just beginning.
Swallowing hard, she steeled her voice. “But it will, Hunter. No matter what you believe now or how hard we try, our worlds won’t ever blend. Yours will completely absorb mine.”
At her words, Hunter didn’t move, didn’t even breathe. She could sense the frustration and anger rolling off him. Frustration at the situation, but the anger? She was pretty sure that was directed at her. And the longer he remained silent, the harder it became to hold the tears back.
“I call bullshit,” he finally said. “A few years ago, sure, I would’ve accepted that. Would have even agreed that, yeah, in the past I lost track of what was important and didn’t pull my head out of my ass until it was too late. But I’m not that guy anymore. Not with you,” he said flatly. “Never with you.”
“I know. That’s my fear.”
“My putting you first shouldn’t scare you, Trouble.” He gently cupped her hip, drawing her closer.
Darn it, if that didn’t bring the first round of tears, then the conviction behind his words did. And as the first drop spilled over her lashes, she knew she’d never come back from this moment. Not in one whole piece anyway.
“It should scare you too, because eventually I’d end up doing the same, until our relationship was so full of compromises someone would end up losing,” she said, her voice wobbling. “I knew the day we met you could never really be mine, not without a huge sacrifice on your part. For this to work, it would mean more than simple changes. For both of us.”
“Changes we can get through together,” he whispered, his voice as raw as her heart felt.
“That’s just it,” she pleaded as a familiar sense of despair rushed over him. “You don’t need me to go onstage and sing. Just like you don’t need me to write music or go on tour. You have everything you need in here.” She rested a hand on his chest and realized she was shaking. “But for this to work, I’ll need you.”
“Bythisyou’re not talking about the tour anymore, are you?”
Even though she couldn’t see the disappointment in his eyes, she didn’t have a hard time imagining it.
