He pulled away and even though she knew it was for the best, she really wanted to see what would have happened if he let the pops and crackles take the lead.
“I know how much you love Maddison and worry about her.” She was reminded of how, earlier at the grocer’s, Poppy had pulled one of her famous disappearing acts, letting go of the cart to sniff out the Pop-Tarts. “The worry is justified. I fully understand parent worry. But don’t forget that you raised her. You’re a great dad, which means, lies aside, she’s a smart, responsible kid.”
“Most of the time. But lately?” He shook his head. “I’ve seriously considered putting in a babycam that activates whenever it detects a body climbing in, or out, her bedroom window. I may have raised her, but she has her mom’s tenacity. When she wants something, she makes it happen.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“When used for good instead of evil. She not only figured out how to apply to NYU on her own, but she managed to write some pretty amazing essays.”
“Is that such a bad thing?” she asked. “Showing initiative? Lily is relentless too.”
He laughed. “Lily?”
“Oh yeah. Poppy always manages to find trouble, but Lily is the one who nods ‘yes, mama,’ while concocting a plan to take over the world.”
“So just like you and Harley.”
“Basically. But I turned out fine.” Hadn’t Harley said the exact same thing? Maybe her sister wasn’t the only one who needed to do some reflecting.
“Parenting takes trust, and it’s hard to give her much freedom when she lies.”
Teagan understood that on a cellular level. Ever since discovering Frank had lost everything they’d been building toward, trust was difficult. She needed to forgive him for the girls’ sake, but bridging the gap between needing and doing was like crossing the Mariana Trench without sinking to the bottom.
The hardest pill to swallow was that Frank hadn’t come to her when things started getting bad. His lack of trust in her ability to handle a difficult situation played a big factor in her decision to file for divorce.
She turned toward Colin and suddenly they were face-to-face, so close she could see the green flecks in his eyes and the fact that he hadn’t shaved, leaving him deliciously scruffy. Professional Colin was heart stopping; rough around the edges Colin made her nipples stand up and take notice.
“Are you upset that she lied or that she did something huge without talking to you?”
He slid her a guilty look. “Kids lie, teenagers lie a lot, but I hate that she didn’t come to me. We’ve always talked to each other about everything. If I can handle the sex or period talk, I’m equipped to have the college talk. Now, when she leaves the house, I don’t even know if she’s going behind my back or making smart decisions.”
Teagan covered her mouth and laughed. “I know this is not funny and you’re really disappointed, and probably worried, but she’s almost eighteen and will be leaving for college soon. When we were that age, we pretty much had complete and absolute freedom and anonymity.”
“She’s barely seventeen and according to California Penal Code 261.5, a minor is any person under the age of eighteen. So even when she goes off to New York, she’ll still be a minor and therefore has to listen to me.”
She chuckled again. Colin didn’t seem to see the humor. “Didn’t sound like she was listening a minute ago.”
He raised a single brow. “You want to throw stones, Bianchi?”
She put her palms up in surrender. “Nope, just making an observation and, trust me, I am the last person to give parenting advice. I’ve spent the past year feeling like a complete failure in the mommy department. Between work, finalizing the divorce, and reinventing Bread N Butter, I feel like I’m missing all the good stuff.”
His expression softened, warmed. “I remember those days, right after Amanda left, and I was a single parent to a toddler overnight. Thankfully, my parents were still around. I don’t know if I could have managed without them.”
“I didn’t realize she was so young when you divorced.”
“More like Amanda bailed. And not just on me, but Maddison too.”
Her heart ached for Maddison, who had woken up one morning to find her family shattered and a parent MIA. Divorce had been enough to steal Lily’s voice; Teagan could only imagine the lasting scars Maddison still carried.
“That’s awful. It’s also my fear with Frank,” she admitted. “That he’ll relapse, and the girls will suffer. Even worse, that he’ll decide parenting from a distance is too hard. When things get rough, Frank’s MO is to disappear. He always has a justification, but the devastation is the same.”
“There isn’t any problem big enough to keep a good parent from their kid.”
“Remind me of that when he comes around and I act as if everything is fine.” Teagan always liked to appear as though she had it all together. She felt that if she hid the fact that she was afraid her life was falling apart, the fear wouldn’t become reality. It was how she’d made it through her childhood, and then her failed marriage.
As if reading her mind, he said, “Being a single parent is like being tossed into an MMA match with a toy lightsaber.”
She laughed. “When do we get to the part where you make me feel better?”
