“So tell her, although I suspect she already knows you’re more than just a grumpy, controlling doctor. Let her see who you really are.” She patted his arm gently. “Trust her, Victor. And trust yourself. It’s time.”
With that final piece of advice, she turned and skipped off the porch into the snow, humming a jaunty tune. He watched her go, her white figure almost indistinguishable against the fallingsnow, then turned to stare out across the water, her words echoing in his mind.
Tell her.
He couldn’t. The thought alone made his stomach clench with dread. He pictured Chloe’s face when he told her about his Hyde, about the risks, the violence lurking beneath his skin.
“I hate to say it, but Flora is usually right,” Sam said, resurfacing.
He groaned and buried his face in his hands. “This is insane. I’m losing my mind over a pregnant human.”
“You’re trying to understand rather than just react. That’s what your father didn’t do.”
“You didn’t know my father,” he snapped.
“No. But I know fear,” Sam said softly. “And I know what happens when you let it make your choices for you. You end up alone at the bottom of a river, telling yourself it’s safer this way while the world moves on without you.”
The words struck a reluctant chord. He might not be hiding at the bottom of a river, but he was hiding just the same.
“I spent decades hiding,” Sam continued. “Telling myself humans couldn’t understand, that Others would fear me, that isolation was wisdom. And then Nina—” He stopped, something vulnerable crossing his face. “Nina looked at me like I was worth knowing, like I was special. And I had to choose to stay safe and alone, or risk everything for the chance at connection.”
“Which did you choose?”
Sam’s lips quirked. “I’m floating outside a bar on a Thursday night waiting for a human woman to finish her shift. What do you think?”
“Point taken.”
Everything Sam and Flora had said made sense on an intellectual level. He wasn’t his father. He had maintained control for two decades. And Chloe hadn’t been afraid, even when Hyde rose to the surface. But intellectual understanding and emotional acceptance were two very different things.
“I told her I was sorry,” he said finally. “For kissing her. I apologized like it was a mistake.”
“Was it?” Sam asked.
He thought about the way she’d felt in his arms. The rightness of it, and the way Hyde had settled instead of raged, protective instead of possessive.
“No,” he admitted. “It was the least mistaken thing I’ve done in years.”
“Then maybe you should tell her that.”
“I was going to refer her to another doctor.”
“So don’t.”
“That’s not—I can’t just—” He stopped, hearing the excuses lining up. The professional concerns. The ethical violations. The carefully constructed justifications for keeping his distance. All of it was fear wearing different masks.
“I don’t know how to do this,” he said quietly. “How to be both. Doctor and Hyde. Controlled and… not.”
“So you’ll figure it out as you go along. And listen if Chloe tells you you’re doing it wrong.”
The back door opened again, and Nina appeared. The petite human’s face lit up when Sam rose higher out of the water. Victor watched the way Nina approached without hesitation, how Sam’s massive hands were careful when he reached for her, how she leaned into his touch like she belonged there.
That’s what I want, he thought.
“Go home,” Sam said. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow you can figure out how to un-fuck this situation.”
“Thank you.”
Sam just inclined his head, one hand resting on Nina’s lower back, and Victor felt a pang of envy so sharp it stole his breath. He wanted that easy intimacy and the simple ability to touch someone without second-guessing every movement.I want Chloe.
