I know how Weston feels, but that doesn’t stop my stomach from tumbling every time I find myself thinking about it, knowing that deep down I want it to happen again.
“Leave her alone, Stass,” Auralie whispers. “Not everyone is as open as you.”
“I’m alright,” I say. “It doesn’t matter how it was, his feelings about it are clear.”
Stassia and Sig exchange a look, but no one says another word. We finish our meals quickly and stop at the armory before meeting everyone on deck. The suns have set, the cloud cover from the day casting a deeper darkness over the island, but it doesn’t cause any hesitation. Excitement still buzzes amongst the crew as we wait for the next direction.
Weston is already there, standing in front of the gangway, weapons strapped to him just like for his shifts. His eyes scan the gathering group until they fall on mine, but I look away quickly. He may have agreed to let me come tonight, but that doesn’t change anything between us.
“Listen up everyone!” he calls out, and the voices quiet as all eyes look toward him. “We all know how this goes. Everyone stay alert and look after each other. Pay attention to your surroundings, and move with a purpose. If things go badly, let me handle it, understood?”
A chorus of ayes sound around me and the group pushes forward, heading down the gangway toward the portal. Weston and Sig stand on either side of the opening in the deck as we all bound down it, waiting to bring up the rear.
I feel Weston fall into step behind me, aware of his presence the same way I am aware of Brynne’s back home. It feels so out of place here, like it’s bringing me back to the person I was, a person I may need to return to, but not the person I am here and now.
“You aren’t my guard, you can stop following so closely,” I seethe, refusing to address him directly. These are the first words we’ve spoken to each other in over a week, and I am mad at myself that I broke the silence first.
“You should be used to it by now, princess. You’ve had a guard at your back since you were a child.”
Now that the truth is out between us, he’s not holding back from talking about it.
“I have, but it wasn’t you.”
“So pretend it’s not.”
Sig rushes past me, her sure footsteps helping her catch up with the end of the group. We’d fallen behind in part because of my short strides, but also my distraction at arguing with Weston.
I let out a harsh sigh and try to speed up my steps, doing anything to put distance between us, but he keeps up easily.
“I don’t need you following me,” I grind out.
“The last time you were out on the island, you came back to my ship covered in blood. Forgive me for trying to protect you.”
As if the island is taking his side, my boot slips on the slick rock beneath me and I stumble. I throw my arms out in front of me, ready to hit the jagged ground, but I’m yanked backward, his hands grabbing firmly to the belt I still wear on either side of my hips. My back collides with his front as he steadies me, and Itry to suppress the shiver that runs up my spine when I feel his breath on my ear.
“You stole my belt, princess.”
He did notice.
I lean into his chest for a second longer than I should, before snapping out of the trance that the feel of his voice rumbling against my back put me in. I’m angry at him, and he won’t distract me from that anger. I push his hands off me and trudge forward, trying to shake off how unsteady I feel.
“It’s mine now. It was in my room,” I call back at him, keeping my eyes trained on the ground so I don’t fall again and give him another reason to touch me.
“I’m pretty sure it was inmyroom,” he says, his voice right behind me once again.
I turn on him quickly, taking him off guard and causing him to stop abruptly so he doesn’t plow me over.
“If you want it back, then come take it.” I cross my arms in a challenge, waiting for his next move. His eyes darken as he stares me down, but doesn’t move a muscle. “That’s what I thought,” I say, and turn back around, moving quickly to try to catch up to everyone.
“Keep it, princess,” he says from farther behind, “it looks better on you, anyway.”
I stop in my tracks, just as my boots sink in to the sand. Whirring around, I pin him with a glare. “What did you say?”
His last words were murmured, but I swear I heard him correctly. I’m not going to let him get away with saying things like that, not after how confused he’s made me already.
“I said you can hold more weapons that way.”
I glare harder, knowing he’s lying, and he matches it. “Fuck off, Weston.” I bound across the beach toward the portal where everyone else has already disappeared inside.
