I look down at my boots and nudge a pebble around on the ground.
“It may have been a story, but I wasn’t making it up,” I say. Admitting this feels harder than it should, especially after deciding to tell Fin because I wanted him to know about me, about how I got here. Weston knowing feels infinitely different, more vulnerable and raw.
“He invited no one?”
He mentions my father so casually, and it is still hard for me to connect them together, even though it feels like a past life. I curse the tears that well, blurring my vision as I look up at him, his teal eyes burning into mine.
“He didn’t let them in.”
The muscles in his jaw ripple, clenching harder than I’ve seen before, and the intensity of his gaze only deepening.
“I wasn’t lying when I said I was alone,” I say, trying to smile through the pain and loneliness that comes rushing back once again. I don’t know if my time in Dawnlin will ever fully eraseit, especially since I need to go back, and nothing there will have changed. I’ll just know everything and everyone I’m missing until I am the one who can make the decisions.
He turns away suddenly, walking to the wall and reaching up to wedge the torch into it. Striding over to me, he stops just a pace away and dips into a deep bow.
“What are you doing?” I mutter, watching him rise back up again before extending his hand forward.
“May I have this dance?”
My stomach flips as I stare at his outstretched hand, waiting for mine to take it, and I shake my head rapidly.
“You don’t have to do this. Really, I’m fine.” I try to step past him, to get out of his proximity and back to our task, but he steps in front of me, blocking my exit and closing the space between us. His fingers brush the underside of my chin and gently lift until I have no choice but to meet his gaze.
“Princess,” he murmurs. My chin quivers and the tears finally fall down my cheeks as I blink up at him. His eyes flicker between mine, looking past all the hurt and loneliness, searching for something. “Dance with me.”
Hand shaking, I place it in his, and he grips it firmly. Dance customs from every kingdom were drilled into me since I was a child. I knew the steps, the formalities, but all the lessons fall away the moment he reaches out with his other hand. He slides his fingertips down the back of my arm and across my palm, my skin tingling in their wake, as he slowly lifts my hand and sets it to rest on his chest.
I can’t breathe.
Gone is the smirking, overbearing asshole captain who tested me and pushed me as often as he could. In his place is Weston, the man who saved my life, who made sure I survived, who taught me to swim and disarm an opponent, so I felt safe. The man who let me hate him, just so I didn’t hate myself. The manwho is so clearly upset that no one showed up for me, and even though he has absolutely no responsibility for my emotional state, he is shouldering that hurt, anyway.
When he wraps his hand around my waist and takes the first step, my instincts take over. With every step he leads, I follow as we turn around the cave in a simple waltz, the only music the gentle lapping of the lagoon and distant roar of the falls.
I can’t look at him. I don’t want him to see how much this means to me. He can’t see everything I’ve been trying to hide since the moment he kissed me, since I found out about all of Dane’s lies, since he said it would never happen again. I don’t want him to see how I’ve fallen for him, and how much it hurts, feeling like nothing will ever come of it.
The princess and the First Guard.
Some would say, maybe in another life, but wearein another life, and he still won’t allow himself to feel what deep down I think he feels. I don’t want him to see the devastation building inside, knowing he is just another thing my duty has taken from me.
Instead, I close my eyes and try to hold on to this moment for a little longer.
He must notice, because without warning he spins me multiple times, the rapid, continual spins that force me to open my eyes and focus back on him so I don’t fall over. On the last turn, he pulls me toward him, our chests colliding as he holds me tightly.
Our steps transform into a sway, completely abandoning the formality of the waltz. My chest heaves against his, growing more rapid with every movement as his arm relaxes, tucking closer into our sides, and his chin settles into my hair. Flames light inside me, the heat consuming me from the inside out as I melt into him, resting my cheek against his chest and feeling the pounding of his heart beneath.
Nothing else exists outside of this cave, not the threat of the Voyagers, not Dane, not the worry that we’ll be trapped here. I just want to forget it all, and live in this moment for as long as we can.
Time passes, slowly, quickly, I’m not sure.
“What are you thinking?” Weston says, finally breaking the silence. His voice rumbles through his chest, low and deep, like he’s trying to keep others from hearing, despite being completely alone together.
I can’t tell him my real thoughts, the ones I am holding captive deep inside, but I know what I need to do.
I swallow the lump forming in my throat and fight the sinking feeling in my stomach. This is it, this is the time. I can’t back down now.
“I need to tell you something,” I say, lifting my head from his chest and taking a small step back. I can’t be this close to him as I try to gather my courage and calm my pounding heart.
“Yes, princess?” His gaze drops to my lips, and I catch the corner of my bottom lip between my teeth. Eyes darkening, they stay trained on my mouth as his hand tightens, the pressure pulling me infinitesimally closer.
