“Nothing.” He leans forward, closing the gap between us. “I just love your determination, that’s all.”
“We have to find it before he does, remember?” I take another bite, chewing slowly, and he sits back in response. Something in my chest squeezes when I bring Weston up to Dane, because I know the last time they saw each other, Dane tried to kill him. I don’t want to fuel any more of Dane’s hatred, but I can’t get through these two days without mentioning him at all, especially since he’s allegedly kept me captive.
“We do, but I’m worried about you staying safe. If you’re going to go, I should go with you.”
“Do you think they’ll be out looking for me?”
“Yes.” His gaze is intense, searing into my face, like I’m something he needs to keep. For what reason, I don’t know. It’s the same look I used to see as desire, and maybe even love. Now I see it differently, and it looks too much like he’s claiming me.
My fingers fidget in my lap. “Maybe I should stay at camp for a while. Let them forget about me.”
“If that will make you feel safe,” he says, continuing to stroke my thighs, and slowly moving to my low back.
I shudder, but he mistakes it for excitement and pulls me even closer.
“But you can’t be here forever,” he continues. “You made me promise not to distract you from finding the cure, and I’m not breaking it.”
“Thank you,” I say. “Maybe we can still be productive while I’m at camp. You said you hadn’t looked for any clues about the dust. Maybe we should start there.”
He nods once, firmly. “I agree. We need to.”
“Have you told anyone else that it’s almost gone?”
So much time has passed, and I don’t know if he has trusted anyone else with the secret. There didn’t seem to be any worry or haste among the Voyagers, but whoever he told could be keepingit to themselves, just as I did. With the threat Dane had used last night, I know he definitely didn’t tell Mara.
“No. I haven’t wanted to cause a panic. I’m the Guardian. I’m supposed to protect everyone here. I don’t want anyone to think they can’t leave. But we need to be able to leave, Lennox. We have to find an answer.”
I swipe my hands on my clothes, dusting off any crumbs. “Then what are we waiting for?”
I swing my legs over the bench, putting some distance between us, which he closes again quickly, placing a hand on my hip as I walk in front of him.
It feels possessive and overbearing, completely opposite of the security and warmth when Weston did the same thing. My skin crawls at the touch, especially knowing I once found it comforting and thrilling.
“Do you have any idea where we should start?” I ask once we are out onto the main walkway again.
“I don’t think either of the bunks will have anything, and probably not the armory. Maybe the infirmary has some books tucked away. We could start there.”
Spinning around, we head toward the infirmary, unused since we were there last night. We turn it over quickly, looking over every item and searching every surface, only to come up empty. Nothing suggests information about the island itself. There are no books or documents, no records of any kind, only the same salves and other treatments, and bandages that are in the infirmary back on the ship.
I try to stay focused on the task, but my mind keeps drifting back to something Sig said back when we were escaping Mara.
I want you to think really hard about needing safety.
Maybe the island is trying to protect the dust just as it protects the healing waters, which is why no one can find it. The Guardian lives at camp, so it would make sense for theanswer, or the actual dust, to be here. I think the same thought repeatedly, asking the island for help, letting it know what I need, just as I did with the map.
Please help us replenish the dust. Please help us replenish the dust.
We barely speak. I’m too busy repeating the phrase over and over with every second of searching, but nothing changes. There’s no sign or movement, nothing that indicates the island heard me.
Or wants to help me.
Once the infirmary is completely turned over and put back together, we stop and try to figure out where to go next.
“Just like the bunks, I don’t think the showers or the tavern will have any sort of clue. Those are too open, too every day.” I stop and gaze out over the clearing, thinking about everything at camp.
The cage. The graves. The training area. The cabin. I hadn’t gone too far into the trees during my time here to see if anything else is hiding out in the jungle.
But then I get a thought, and turn to face Dane.
