After all the grumbles and stares, he’s finally ready to talk.
“Someone had to do something,” I say firmly, squaring myself to him and crossing my arms over my chest. His eyes flick down to my thighs, where my movement pulled the hem higher, so it brushes the top of my exposed skin. They slowly trail back up to my face and my body feels like it is on fire.
“We were doing something. We have been for years,” he grinds out.
“We are out of time! I at least needed to try. I couldn’t have lived here for eternity if it ran out, knowing I might have been able to do something and didn’t. I tried to ask you, but when I brought it up, you shut me down, so I did it on my own.”
“I told you to trust me!”
My own anger grows, matching his, as I remember an important detail I need explained. In the cave, Weston told me to trust him, but I knew he was still hiding something. Now I know, but I want to hear it from him. Weston knew Dane had come here for my mother, but he said nothing.
“Trust you?” I snap. “Let’s talk about trust, Weston. I knew there was something more you weren’t telling me. How can I trust you after you kept something like that from me? How could you? You knew Dane was here to save my mother, and you knew he was using me!” Now I’m yelling, my volume rivaling his.
“I was trying to protect you! I didn’t want you to ever find out, because I knew it would crush you. I begged you to trust me,but you didn’t.” A flash of hurt flickers over his eyes, but it’s gone almost instantly.
“I would have trusted you if you’d just told me!”
“You know you wouldn’t have. You wouldn’t have believed me without questioning everything all over again.”
My head shakes harshly, like I’m trying to force his explanation out of it. “That was the excuse you used last time. You can’t use it again.”
“What do you want me to say, princess? You don’t trust anyone unless you figure it out on your own. I can’t help that my dumbass friend fucked up and hurt you. All I can do is try to prove to you again and again that you can trust me, that I will always be there for you.”
“But you didn’t tell me, Weston! You didn’t give me a chance to trust you!”
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t expect you to go running back to him after I fucking ordered you not to!” He flings his hand toward the island, then scrubs it through his hair. His frustration with my decision is palpable, but I can’t contain mine any longer.
“You can’t order me to do anything.”
“On this ship I can.”
“Fuck that, Weston. No. You can’t. If you’re going to treat me like a princess here, then I’ll be the fucking princess. If you’re going to push me away and leave me to figure things out on my own, fine. But you can’t just change your gods damn mind whenever you want to be the captain instead of the First Guard. It doesn’t work like that!”
I’m grateful his desk is between us, preventing me from getting too close to him, because at this point I don’t know if I’d pull my dagger on him or drag my body against his.
“I took an oath, princess. I can’t just break it.” His voice drops low, and my stomach goes with it.
Everything changed the other night the moment I uttered his title, reminding him of the oath he took as the First Guard. He shut down, pushing me away, and I couldn’t help but feel his title and his relationship with my father was more important to him than whatever shreds of feelings he had for me.
“So, this has all been about your duty? About my father? You’re just following orders?” My jaw clenches as I bite out the words and try to choke down the knot in my throat.
He storms around the desk until he’s toe to toe with me, and I have to crane my neck back to keep his gaze and hold my ground.
“It may have started that way, but it’s not now, and you know it. Since the second I pulled you out of that water, this has been about you and only you. I watched you die, and fought to bring you back, for your father, for my kingdom, for my oath. But the moment you took a breath, and I looked into your eyes, it was over. Everything changed. It was all about keeping you safe, and keeping you away from him.”
His hands are clenched at his sides, like it’s taking all of his strength to keep from reaching out and touching me.
Angry tears prick at my eyes. My teeth are clenched so hard that my jaw pops.
“I don’t believe you,” I grind out. “If it was, you wouldn’t have pushed me away. You wouldn’t keep talking about your duty and my title. You would have told me how you felt!”
“What do you want me to say?” he yells as he throws his arms out to the sides, the motion an act of vulnerability, like he’s trying to finally open himself up to me. “What do you want to hear, princess? That every time you challenged me, or fought me, or yelled at me, I fell fucking harder?”
He steps forward and I step back, our gazes locked, the minuscule space between us crackling with energy like a thunderstorm ready to erupt.
“That every time I watched him manipulate you and take advantage of your mind and your body, I wanted to tell you everything? Do you know how hard it was to stop myself from giving him another scar to remember me by?”
I swallow hard, and he takes another step, which I match.
