“This is a good news-bad news-good news story,” Jack said. “So, leaving you with more good news. There’s no sign you’re being tailed.”
“That’s great news,” Ben said.
I felt the weight of his gaze on me, but I didn’t respond. Ididn’t have the emotional energy to celebrate with the rest of them. If Devlin was associated with the kid buying all the burner phones, what the hell was he really up to? How much danger was I in? And how in the hell would I save my business from whatever this mess was?
The other three exchanged goodbyes, and then the screen went black. Ben sat quietly while I gathered my courage. I drew in a hitching breath, then another. My vision blurred, and I blinked hard. I fought the tears, but they came anyway. Ben wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I didn’t have the energy to fight both the crushing disappointment of what Devlin was doing and the comforting warmth of Ben’s quiet support, so I leaned into him. When he drew me closer and pulled me onto his lap, I didn’t resist. I pressed my cheek against his chest and took comfort in the strength of his arms and the steady thrum of his heartbeat.
Yes, he was my ex. Yes, I’d declared him dead to me on more than one occasion. And yes, I’d nearly turned tail and run when I’d spotted him across the crowded airport. But he was here, now, when I needed him.
And then need slid sideways into want.
I gripped his shoulder, then slid my fingertips up his neck and into his hair. His big, warm hands flattened against my back. I tilted my head up to look at him. He stared down at me, drowning me in those dark eyes. I inched forward, touched my lips to his, and kissed the hell out of Ben Hayes.
8
BEN
Soft curves. Full lips. Silky hair. I wrapped myself around Savannah and drank her in. When her lips parted, I delved into her warm, luscious mouth. She tasted like mocha and teenage dreams and young love. When she shifted in my lap, I pulled her tight against me. When she moaned and kissed me harder and deeper, electricity shot through me.
And when she went still, I dropped my arms and sat still, waiting for her next move. Closer or farther. If she wanted to dive off the edge of a cliff right there on the picnic table, I was down for it.
But she pulled away and scrambled off my lap. The emotions running through my head were reflected on her face. Shock. Embarrassment. Confusion. Desire.
So, so much desire.
But the physical distance allowed me to get my shit together quickly. This was a mission, not a fucking episode of a dating-my-ex reality show. I slid off the bench.
Savannah cleared her throat, a new habit she’d developed since our summer together, a way to cover what she’d just said or to avoid what she wanted to say next.
I followed her lead and changed the subject. “I’ll break down camp while you finish your breakfast.”
I kept up a running dialogue as I worked. “We’re twenty-three hours out from our destination, drive time. We’ll be on the road by 0700 and try to get past the halfway point before we stop tonight. We’ll go a little farther north, then...” I lost track of what I was saying, just talked for the next five minutes, taking occasional short breaks to give her a chance to respond.
She didn’t.
She also didn’t eat much more of her breakfast, which worried me until I reminded myself she was under my protection, but she was also a grown-ass adult and her eating habits were none of my business. In another thirty-six hours, I wouldn’t even be in charge of her safety. Mai would meet us in Chicago, and Savannah would leave with her. I’d take my last interview, lock down my dream job, and live happily fucking after.
So why were my shoulders tense? Why did I find myself scowling? Why did my happy future suddenly seem so bleak?
Unfinished business. That had to be it. The kiss, our mortification, my shitty mood. The overwhelming guilt that had consumed those first months after our breakup had subsided to a dull, continuous pain that had followed over the past seven years. She’d built a business. I’d launched a career. We’d both had relationships. Yet here we were, after all these years, alone in the middle of the woods, moving in on each other like horny teenagers.
Or adults who hadn’t dealt with their bullshit.
We’d left things badly. Or, to be honest,I’dleft things badly. I owed Savannah an apology, a heartfelt acknowledgment that I’d screwed up.
No way in hell was I going to dredge up the past right before climbing into a car together for a twelve-hour drive. I could hold it together for the next day and a half. I could dodamn near anything for a short period of time. Be brief, be bright, be gone; that was me.
But before my time with Savannah was over, I would ask for her forgiveness so we could both get on with our lives. I gave it less than even odds she’d absolve me.
And I couldn’t say I’d blame her.
9
SAVANNAH
That stupid kiss had killed the room. Any semblance of camaraderie between Ben and me was gone. The worst part was the kiss hadn’t been stupid at all for me. In the midst of the disorienting implications about Devlin, being in Ben’s arms had anchored me. And as far as the physical pull, well, we’d both felt that. He couldn’t disguise his body’s reaction. But when I’d come up for air and to clear my head, he’d backed away completely. He was right. We’d lit this fire before and had been burned by it.
But my bruised ego and revved-up libido didn’t care about logic.
